Bananas Imported From Brazil Found To Contain Spiders [VIDEO]

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CARSON CITY, Kansas – 

A man recently uploaded a video to YouTube showing a banana that he purchased as his local grocery store, and it’s definitely not a sight for fruit lovers. In the video, the banana bursts open, and a spider is seen leaping out from under the peel.

“It was definitely disturbing, and I’m glad that I didn’t open it and eat it, and that I saw something moving under the peel first,” said Miles Rogers, who filmed the video. “It was disgusting. I just wanted to eat a banana. I ate an apple instead. I could stomach a worm, maybe, but not a spider.”

According to recent reports, spiders have been making their way to the US from Brazil via bags of bananas. Several shoppers throughout the country have reported finding both live and dead spiders inside pre-packaged bags of bananas. Grocery stores are working hard to check fruits, but not every bag is always checked.

“If I were you, I’d buy my bananas fresh, local if it’s even possible, and definitely not in a bag,” said Rogers. “I will probably never eat a banana again. Between spiders and AIDS blood, there’s nothing that makes me want to risk it anymore.”

 

Scientists Engineer Square Apples To Aid In Shipping, Storage Problems

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ORCHARD CITY, Maine – 

Everyone loves apples, especially during the fall season. The biggest concern, though, especially for the transportation and grocery industries is how to store an abundance of fresh picked apples. Engineers in Maine may have figured out a possible cure to this age-old headache.

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“For years, apples were shipped in giant barrels, but they often tumbled out, causing loss or damaged products,” said Mark Jones, a GMO scientist based in Maine. “We found a way to make the apples grow to be square, which will make it much, much easier to transport and store these apples. The great thing is, they taste just as great.”

Jones said that the grocery industry is particularly interested in the product, as they often have to throw food away after it rolled to the floor.

“I’m so happy to see a new, genetically altered food like this,” said Jim Carlson, a grocery store franchisee for Kroger in Mississippi. “We constantly have to throw away damaged fruits, because we pile them up, and they roll out, or customers let them fall. This will definitely help to resolve a waste issue.”

Jone said he and his team are currently at work on making square oranges, peaches, grapes, and plums.

Nutritional Study Reveals That Drinking Apple Juice Increases Penis Size

BOSTON, Massachusetts – Nutritional Study Reveals That Drinking Apple Juice Increases Penis Size

In an extensive two-year scientific nutritional study conducted at Boston University, a group of experts in nutritionally based health improvement breakthroughs, known internationally for their past nutritional scientific discoveries and award-winning accomplishments, claim that their research has proved conclusively that drinking a half-gallon or more of apple juice a day, will, surprisingly increase penile size over time.

Health experts and dietitians say that the precise, detail-oriented, and incredibly well orchestrated study, which had over 30 medical professionals working diligently to monitor the process of natural male enhancement and measuring the results meticulously in a very ‘hands-on’ manner, may very well be the most significant nutritionally based study conducted in the past twenty years worldwide, and for obvious reasons.

Nutritional Science and Engineering professor, Dr. Ismael Untobo, along with his team, constructed the detailed article titled ‘Apple Juice and The Secret of The Male Sexual Organ’ in the October issue of the prestigious North American Nutritional  Journal Monthly. Their research revealed that consuming large amounts of 100% real, natural apple juice several times daily is the only proven way  known to date, excluding surgery, that is likely to significantly increase penis size.

According to Dr. Untobo’s extensive report, 50 male subjects were monitored on a daily basis during the entire two-year study, and each participant consumed at least a half-gallon of natural apple juice. Once a month, members of the research team gently massaged the men’s private areas with oil until fully erect. This was done to gain the most efficient and scientifically dependable measurements of both length and girth. The results have proven to be quite explosive for the average sized male desperately wanting to offer their sex partners a little something extra.

“No specific nutrient in the apple generates the increases, it is the coexistence and the chemistry of how the nutrients are uniquely constructed within one another’s supplemental DNA, if you will,” Untobo explained. “We tried all different types of juices over the full 10-year study, but it was only within the last 2 years that we discovered that apple juice was the key. Even I’ve taken to drinking several glasses a day. My wife is very happy.”

Within the first six months, Dr. Untobo says his research team at Boston University began to see astounding results in not only penile length, but also in girth as well.

“Six months into the study the average erect penile length of our group increased from 5.75 inches to 6.25 inches, while erect penile circumference increased from 3.8 inches to 5.3 inches. Production of semen increased slightly as well, but intensity of orgasm went off the charts during monthly evaluations,” said Untobo. “It became overwhelmingly obvious that semen production increased very rapidly along with leg-shaking, intense, full-body orgasms. Obviously our test subjects were very pleased with their personal growth and newly discovered, unprecedented orgasms. I guess one could say, the juice gives you more juice, and more juice keeps a smile on your face,” said Dr. Untobo.

Dr. Untobo added that the makers of 100% real apple juice should significantly improve in worldwide sales over the course of the next couple years. “As the results and proof of these studies spread, I would be surprised if the supplement companies do not cash in by converting apples into a pill form. It can be done, and to the best of my educated knowledge, such a supplement is not currently sold over the counter, but they will be,” Dr. Untobo concluded.

According to Untobo, now that he has finished his study with the hopes that his research will help many men gain the confidence they were looking for when it comes to the size of their members, he has begun leading a team of female colleagues and participants in a study to determine whether or not the size really matters, anyway.

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