‘Anti-Vaxxers’ Jailed After Child Hospitalized With Whooping Cough

Posted on August 11, 2014 by mike the inkman

BALTIMORE, Maryland –

Anti-vaccination has become the latest trend embraced by the ‘natural parenting’ community. There are thousands of protests, Facebook groups, shared memes, and informative campaigns sweeping the nation. It is a movement spearheaded by parents who don’t trust medicine, and embrace natural living. Rachel and David Posey of Baltimore, Maryland, are one such couple, and this week they were arrested and charged with child endangerment after their child was hospitalized with whooping cough, which has a fifty percent mortality rate in infants.

Jenny McCarthy, one of the strongest proponents of the ‘anti-vaxx’ craze, was very vocal upon hearing about the arrest.

“This is criminal. They are forcing us to poison our children, and now they are arresting us if we have the wisdom to refuse. I may not be a doctor, but I know these vaccines cause all kinds of problems, and they aren’t even one hundred percent effective. Besides, most of these things we vaccinate against aren’t even around anymore. Why vaccinate against a disease that no one even gets?” said McCarthy.

antixvaxx — Adacel, one of several drugs on the market for vaccination against Pertussis, also known as ‘Whooping Cough.’

Anti-Vaxxers across the country are up in arms over the arrest, and are taking to the internet to voice their displeasure. There is even a petition for the Posey’s release on Change.org. Mary Ruiz, spokesperson for the Center for Disease Control and strong proponent for vaccinations, has addressed the mass outrage.

“With the vast amount of knowledge shared among the world’s population, it would be impossible for everyone to be well-versed on every topic. You don’t get on an airliner and decide that you can fly the plane better than the pilot, who has trained for thousands of hours. Why then is it the norm for people from all walks of life to decide that they are more knowledgeable about disease than an immunobiologist?” said Ruiz. “Not to take anything away from the average citizen, but if you received a “D” in physical science class, you are in no position to decide what compounds are unsafe for use in the human body. We had nearly stamped out a number of deadly diseases, and now, many of them are coming back in full force. Ten years ago, we were fighting the last vestiges of these diseases in third world countries. Now we are fighting them here. Children are dying, and we have these anti-vaccination parents to thank for it.”

Anti-Vaxx parents aren’t letting things like facts stand in their way, and a large contingent has taken up visage outside of the Baltimore County Courthouse to express their outrage. One protester summed up the movement quite nicely, saying that the arrest has made ‘legends’ of the Posey family.

“The Posey family are heroes. It is sad that their baby is sick, but what they are doing, fighting for our rights, it’s damn honorable. It will all be worth it in the end. Every struggle comes with a price, but soon, our unvaccinated children will be allowed equal rights under the law,” said Brent Pine, a father of 3 young, unvaccinated children.

The Baltimore County District Attorney has not been amused by the circus surrounding the case.

“These people are criminals. Good intentions aside, we feel that they are directly responsible for this child’s illness, and I assure you, if this baby dies as a result of this illness, the charges will be amended to negligent homicide,” said Baltimore District Attorney Melissa Brooks. “Regulations are in place for a reason, and contrary to some people’s beliefs, you should not be able to put your childs health at risk over an unsubstantiated rumor.”

The US Government allows a certain amount of leeway with regard to parents raising their children in a manner that they deem fit, but even religion sects that consider modern medicine to be unsafe, including members of the Christian group The Church of the First Born, have come under legal fire when neglecting proper medical care for their young children.

Several years ago, a 3-year-old girl died when her family refused to bring in her to the hospital for medical care for a treatable disease. The family attributed the sickness to ‘God’s Will,’ punishment for not attending church frequently enough. The parents let her die. They were later acquitted of charged of child abuse. Experts say that Anti-Vaxxers are slowly moving the way of a religious, or cult-like, behavior.

“These people need to understand that years of medical training and science goes into these vaccinations. We are not injecting people, children or adults, with ‘experimental’ drugs or something, all willy-nilly,” said Dr. George West, pediatric surgeon at Massachusetts General Hospital. “Please, for the sake of your children, get them vaccinated. These diseases and illnesses are preventable, and they are dire. Whooping cough will kill your baby. For crying out loud, we’re seeing Measles making a comeback. We obliterated that disease almost 15 years ago. It’s coming back specifically because of these ignorant, uninformed families.”

The Poseys face one count each of child endangerment and neglect, and are scheduled for a hearing on September 2nd. A lawyer for the couple refused comment.

Scientific Study Confirms Weight Loss Via ‘Digestive Meditation’

Posted on August 2, 2014 by AlabamaWhitman

BOSTON, Massachusetts –

With obesity on the rise and absurd diets swarming the market like wildfire, health and wellness specialist Dr. Mark Wildstein and neurologist Dr. Shawn Plutchetzky, conducted a study to see if the brain was powerful enough to control weight loss and weight distribution merely by concentration and will-power. The results of the test, released in the Boston Medical Journal on July 30th, were astounding

“The brain is the most complex organ in the human body. It controls sight, smell, taste, hearing, and physical movement,” said Wildstein. “It gives us the power to imagine, to think, and to act. Everyone thought what we were doing was a joke. We firmly believe in the power of the mind, and now we have a study that shows just how right we are.”

The study was conducted over the course of six months with two separate groups of 30 subjects. The first group consisted of females, between 130-133 lbs. Half of the women were in a controlled environment where they slept 8 hours per day, exercised equally at zero to low intensity, and were fed 3 times per day. The other half of the group was not in a controlled environment, and asked to maintain their regular eating, sleeping, and exercise habits. For some participants this constituted zero physical activity, as they were asked to continue life as normal. The second study of 3o subjects was conducted in the same manner, but with male participants between 170-173 lbs.

“We did our research and carefully chose 60 subjects to take part in our study. Our goal was to achieve a group of individuals that was near identical, in terms of eating and exercise habits, sleep patterns, and so forth. We had to eliminate all variables possible.”

The subjects were educated on how the brain and body function prior to the study. Each subject was directed to participate in ‘digestive meditation’ by lying down after each meal to think about the food they just ate, and visualizing how their body was digesting it. Wildstein and Plutchetzky believe that by reliving each bite in the imagination and thinking about how the food is being broken down inside the body, it allows the brain to control where it stores fat and nutrients, if at all. The subjects focused all of their energy on where they’d like the fat from each particular meal to gather on their bodies, or if they wanted it to at all. Most participants, they said, chose to just “flush the fat” from their bodies.

“I lost weight in my mid-section and I gained a cup size!” said Kim Sherbert, who was amazed at what happened to her body over the course of the study. “My husband and I are unbelievably happy. And I can’t wait to show off my new body at the beach. Just in time for the end of summer! I just couldn’t believe it was as easy as it was.”

“I’m Brazilian, but I always had a tiny butt, and I was very self-conscious of it,” said Bianca Souza, another test subject. “Throughout the study, I noticed my butt was beginning to fill out and become more round. My waist stayed tiny. I’m just in complete awe. The hardest part was not falling asleep during the digestive meditation. But I worked really hard at thinking about it, and I’m proof that applying yourself pays off! I’m so thankful to them!”

According to Wildstein, all but two of the subjects achieved their desired body goals.

“The study was a major success, and overall seems to prove the Doctor’s dietary motto of ‘If you think it, you can achieve it,'” said Wildstein. “We are extremely pleased with how everything turned out, and I think our subjects are, too!”

“We wanted to prove the brain could control weight loss, and distribution, without any physical or dietary influence,” says Plutchetzky. “I believe, without a doubt, that we accomplished this.”

Mixed Martial Arts To Become Banned in United States By 2015

Posted on July 17, 2014 by Raoul Stockton

LAS VEGAS, Nevada –

James Lee Offerman, chairman of the Association of Boxing Commissions (ABC) announced on Thursday morning that under the urging of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, the U.S. Government is expected to pass a bill in 2015 which will make all Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) competition illegal in all 50 states.

“Under urging from the Obama administration and the DHHS, researchers and medical experts have studied diligently the last few years to investigate the dangers of MMA competition. The results complied have proven that the sport is far too dangerous to go forward in the United States. A decision we, the ABC, have ultimately approved.” said Offerman.

There have been four MMA related deaths since 2007, the latest being Booto Guylain, a Congolese fighter who died on March 5, 2014 following complications resulting from a head injury experienced during an MMA bout. It was the death of Tyrone Mimms, who died in South Carolina in 2012 following a MMA match, that prompted the Obama Administration to initially investigate the dangers of the extremely popular sport. After two years of studies and research, studies revealed that the most alarming statistic were to fighters who have suffered permanent brain damage during sparring and matches. The numbers were not released by the Department of Health and Human Services, just that the compilation of results were “beyond alarming.”

“The high-profile of modern MMA promotions such as UFC and Pride has fostered an accelerated development of the sport making it more and more dangerous in a short amount of time,” says sports medicine expert and neurosurgeon Dr. Zumbaka Ulygeno. “I have seen an alarming amount of life changing brain injuries in the past three years due to the sport of mixed martial arts, while it is exciting and is big business in the United States, it needs to be brought to an end.”

Dana White, President of MMA giant organization UFC was reportedly extremely angry about the reports, as well as the secretive nature of the investigation by the White House.

“This is ridiculous. You don’t see them trying to shut down the sport of football, and the last time I checked, even high school kids are killed almost every year playing. We will fight this,” said White. “This is just another attempt by the Obama Administration to rip another piece of freedom from the American public. We won’t stand for it. If we let them take this away from us, what’s next? Boxing? Baseball? Fried chicken? This is disturbing and infuriating to say the least.”

According to Offerman the ban has absolutely nothing to do with politics.

“We are here to protect the American public, and this is exactly what we are trying to do. Anyone blaming the Obama administration needs to look at the big picture,” explained Offerman during a press conference in Las Vegas. “The sport has run its course, the fighters are getting stronger and more dangerous, yet there is no superstar. It seems that the risk involved should no longer worth it to those who oversee the sport, and there is no shame in waving the white flag in surrender.”

“You clearly have not heard the last from MMA supporters, fighters, promoters, and the crazed, uninformed cult that follows our barbaric sport,” said White. “We need to stand up for the right to observe organized, violent sporting events. It’s what makes this country perfect in every way.”