George W. Bush Accepts Job Offer As Greeter At Dallas Walmart, Will Donate Earnings To Charity

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DALLAS, Texas – George W. Bush Accepts Job Offer As Greeter At Dallas Walmart, Will Donate Earnings To Charity

George W. Bush, 43rd President of the United States, has accepted a job offer to become a greeter at a Dallas, Texas Walmart.

Bush, 68, was offered the position by second-shift manager Bob McDonald after he read about the former President in the local Dallas-Herald newspaper. In the article, Bush expressed that he was growing bored with painting and trying to golf, and would like a job some place involving customer assistance.

“I would like to be of service again and give back to the people, make a difference. You can take the boy out of the neighborhood, but you can’t take the neighborhood out of the backyard,” Bush said in the article.

After reading the piece, McDonald, a Walmart manager with twenty-two years experience at the store, says he wrote a letter to the president offering him a job as a second-shift door greeter. Much to McDonald’s surprise, Bush replied saying he would take the job with one condition – he needed to have the day off for Elvis’ birthday.

“I couldn’t believe it! My first thought was, ‘Holy cow, I’m going to be the boss of a former President of the United States of America!’ Usually we don’t give just anybody Elvis’ birthday off, but you know, I sure as heck couldn’t say no to W,” McDonald said.

Bush, who is also paid for motivational speaking gigs, announced the news to a sold-out crowd at the annual Exxon Oil company meeting in downtown Houston. Bush excitedly talked about his new job while speaking to the packed audience.

“Hard work pays off. I am a prime example. If you never give up on life, you can make it anywhere, and eventually you’ll even end up with a greeter job at Walmart,” said Bush. “Yeah, I am 68-years-old, but this dog has not lost its bark. Walmart is a great American company, and it is my honor to serve.”

Bush said that although he has never shopped at a Walmart, he looks to the position with the company as a new challenge, and new adventure.

“Just like Louis Armstrong said, ‘This is one big step for man, and one giant leap for humanity,” the jolly ex-President said. “I would also like to announce that I will be donating my Walmart salary to the ice-water bucket challenge charity thingy, because no dog deserves to go thirsty.”

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