Scientist Says He Discovered Cure For AIDS; Reportedly ‘Very Simple’
March 20, 2015
TOPEKA, Kansas - Bill McGregor may soon be a household name. The father of five and microphysicist believes he has found the long sought after cure for AIDS. What’s more, he claims it is very simple ...
Death Row Inmate Survives Execution; Released From Prison
March 20, 2015
DICKSON, Tennessee - A Tennessee death row inmate has been released from prison today after two attempts to execute him have failed. Peter Farmington was convicted of 3 counts of murder in the first degree when he ...
Surgeons Remove Toy From Man’s Rectum For 37th Time
March 19, 2015
HUNTSVILLE, Alabama - A man was recently admitted to the Crestwood Medical Center in Huntsville, Alabama for surgery to remove a toy that had become lodged inside his rectal cavity. The man, whose full name is unknown ...
Kanye West Doesn’t Believe Black People Exist
March 19, 2015
MIAMI, Florida - Shortly after confusing the world with his assertion that racism “no longer exists,” Kanye West has caused further controversy, by insisting that “black people are no longer a thing.” Last week, West seemingly showed ...
Rick Salomon Accuses Pamela Anderson of Eating Babies
March 19, 2015
LOS ANGELES, California - Acclaimed poker player Rick Salomon has outraged ex-wife Pamela Anderson, by telling news outlets that the model and actress eats babies. His allegations come just days after he received criticism for calling ...
Live Sex Show Pulled From NBC After Accidentally Broadcasting Necrophilia
March 19, 2015
NEW YORK CITY, New York - NBC have given up on their controversial ‘Live Sex Project’, just three days into airing. The 24 hour reality series, which broadcast live from a gritty motel room, showed everyday ...
‘Star Wars: Episode VII’ Will Have Darth Vader Reveal That He’s Also Luke’s Mother
March 19, 2015
A GALAXY, Far Far Away - Although the original Star Wars trilogy revealed the fate of antagonist Darth Vader, and the prequel trilogy showed his extensive backstory, writers for the next episode of the franchise have ...
Government Considers Replacing Bald Eagle With Sloth As National Animal
March 19, 2015
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The US government is reportedly considering replacing the current National Animal. The bald eagle has served as a symbol of the nation’s dreams and values since the 1700s, but policymakers no longer feel ...