Liza Minnelli Voted ‘Most Fabulous Junkie’ in Rehab
March 25, 2015
SAN DIEGO, California - Acclaimed singer and actress Liza Minnelli is reportedly the most fabulous junkie in Hope Winters Rehabilitation Center. Fellow addicts have unanimously agreed that the Cabaret star’s general demeanor, appearance, and movement and ...
Feminists Rally For Change; Hope To Just Become Known As ‘Uppity Bitches’
March 25, 2015
SAN FRANCISCO, California - For decades, the stereotype of angry, militant women who want all men dead has been the primary association in most American minds when it comes to Feminism. The term “Feminazis” was popularized ...
New Law Requires Kim Kardashian to Obtain Permit to Have More Kids
March 25, 2015
MIAMI, Florida - Kim Kardashian has made no secret of her burning desire for another child. The mother of one apparently wants a sibling for North, in order to help the firstborn through the travails of ...
Center for Disease Control Reports ‘Zombie Movie’ Virus Finally Declining
March 24, 2015
WASHINGTON, D.C. - After years of the uncontrollable so-called “Zombie Movie” virus infecting nearly the entire world, the CDC (Center for Disease Control) released a statement saying it has run its course and is beginning to ...
Man Cuts Off Own Nose To Spite Wife’s Face
March 24, 2015
CHICAGO, Illinois - Local father Benjamin Straub has cut off his own nose in order to spite his wife’s face. Mrs. Straub apparently has an aversion to her face directly touching her husband’s, and relied on ...
Lady Gaga Gets Engaged; World Shocked It’s To A Human
March 24, 2015
LOS ANGELES, California - Following the very public drama of Lady Gaga’s divorce from Xxzorzg, the fading star has done something that some are questioning to be a publicity stunt. She is engaged to marry a ...
Meet Microsoft’s New Browser, ‘Definitely-Not-Internet-Explorer’
March 24, 2015
SILICON VALLEY, California - The whole world – even Microsoft – came to realize that Internet Explorer was a useless old relic, burying it alongside its old cousin, Netscape. With this, however, they sought to create ...
New Film Features Crossover Between ‘The Hangover,’ ‘Nightmare on Elm Street’
March 23, 2015
HOLLYWOOD, California - It’s a crossover that no one expected but everyone is raving about – ‘The Hangover,’ directed by Todd Phillips, and ‘Nightmare on Elm Street,’ directed by Wes Craven, come together as the two ...