BOSTON, Massachusetts –
A team of doctors and scientists at Boston University has discovered what they say is a literal ‘cure for love,’ which when injected, can actually stop all feelings of love that someone may have for someone or something else.
“We can actually get very specific with the way the medicine works, and target receptors that are only about one specific person,” said Dr. Gary Moore. “Basically, say you have a relationship that ends badly, and one party cannot get over their now ex-partner. With our drug, we can inject just one shot in the jugular vein, and their love for that person will immediately diminish.”
Researchers began work on this new drug, which many are hailing as a modern miracle, after lead scientist Fred London lost his dog of 18 years, Pookie. “Pookie died after a long illness, and I could not get over him,” said London. “I began looking for ways that I could remove that love, that loss, from my life. 3 years later, we have finally made it possible to leave that broken heart behind for good.”
Testing has only recently begun with human subjects, after trials with other mammals went extremely well.
“We gave our drug to a horse, and it instantly didn’t care anymore that we had cut off its legs for glue,” said Dr. Moore. “The same was true in other animals we tested it on. I personally volunteered to go first in the human trials, too, as as they were beginning, I had just gone through a nasty divorce with my cheating-whore wife, who I loved very dearly. After one shot, I barely even gave a shit anymore that she was sleeping with my best friend for 3 years behind my back.”
Booth Dr. Moore and London say that they are expecting FDC approval on their drug by the end of the year, with test continuing through the summer months.