Trump Donates $130k To Organization Founded By Westboro Baptist Church

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Richard Young, a spokesperson for Faith Among Nations, has confirmed to reporters that his organization recently received a donation in the amount of $130,000 from republican presidential nominee Donald Trump.

Faith Among Nations is a non-profit organization currently overseen by Paul Addison, however was originally founded in 1999 by Westboro Baptist Church founder Fred Phelps. In 2001, Phelps resigned from his position at Faith Among Nations and appointed Paul Addison to take his place as the organization’s president.

The organization claims to help wounded soldiers, wayward children, and victims of natural disasters through monetary donations while promoting traditional Christian values, however the non-profit is widely viewed as an “untrustworthy organization” and has been known to funnel money directly to The Westboro Baptist Church.

Many believe that Faith Among Nations is nothing more than a shell corporation set-up by Phelps to assist in the funding of Westboro Baptist Church business expenses such as travel expenses including air fare, hotel accommodations, and gas expenses. In 2004, the organization was slapped with multiple hefty fines when it was uncovered that upwards of $600,000 worth of Faith Among Nations donations were used to pay Westboro Baptist Church salaries.

When asked directly about the Faith Among Nations donation, Trump told reporters, “Unlike my opponents, I donate to many non-profit and charitable organizations, next question.” Many believe that Trump was unaware that his seemingly massive donation would be used to fund the questionable activities of the Westboro Baptist church, however, many others are of the opinion that Trump knowingly supported the organization.

Trump’s $130,000 donation to Faith Among Nations, is the second controversial donation that the presidential nominee has made this year. He received heavy criticism for a donation of $100,000 that he made to the Greenwell Springs Baptist Church whose interim pastor is Tony Perkins.

(via: The Boston Tribune)

No Crimes Reported Anywhere In U.S. During Presidential Debate

WASHINGTON, D.C. – 

For the first time in almost all of recorded history, there was absolutely no crime reported anywhere in the United States throughout the hour and a half of the first Presidential debate.

According to statistics from the Bureau of Violent Crime and Police Activity, there were no crimes called into any police department anywhere in the country during the time of the first debates between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump, which is an astounding statistic that experts say may never happen again.

“Over 475 million people were at home, watching the debates live on TV or on social media,” said Bureau head Fred Kahn. “During the entire hour and a half – in which there were no commercials or breaks – we found that there were no crimes committed. I’ve been running this bureau for the better part of 20 years, and I’ve never seen it. At no point in our records has something like this ever happened. It’s an anomaly.”

Kahn says that he thinks that people were just too engrossed in the debate to bother committing and crimes.

“It doesn’t matter who it is – black, white, yellow, purple. People of all races, of all types, of all kinds…they came together during this time, and they decided to stop killing and raping and stealing from each other, and they just watched that dumpster fire of a debate. Together. It’s simultaneously the most and least American thing I’ve ever seen.”

Terrorist Plot Thwarted During Presidential Debate, Secret Service Captures Attempted Bomber

NEW YORK – 

FBI investigators have confirmed that a large-scale terrorist threat was thwarted on Monday evening, only a short time before presidential candidates Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump were scheduled to take the stage to begin one of the most historic debates of our time.

According to FBI spokesman Mario Givens, an unnamed Caucasian man, who “pledged his allegiance” to ISIS, had made his way through security at the event, and was planning to detonate a large bomb.

“The man, whose name we are currently not releasing, was able to make his way through security with a suitcase, which is supposed to be strictly forbidden at these events,” said Givens. “We were able to stop the attempted massacre thanks to the quick-thinking and efforts of an incredible police and security detail.”

Donald Trump was quoted as saying that he was “extremely grateful” for the work done by the security teams at the event, and that he is hopeful for a much safer future.

“It’s clear that anyone looking to bomb this event, they were doing it because of Hillary,” said Trump. “Obviously her supporters are whackos, and these people, these whackos, they usually don’t get the upper hand. The police, FBI, and my private security did an amazing job tonight.”

Convicted Pedophile and Former Subway Pitchman Jared Fogle Endorses Donald Trump

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LITTLETON, Colorado – 

Donald Trump picked up an endorsement today from former Subway pitchman and convicted pedophile Jared Fogle that the presidential candidate might not have wanted.

Fogle is currently serving a 15-year sentence in the Federal Correctional Institution, Englewood near Littleton, Colorado. Sources say Fogle, a self-described political junkie, has been following the presidential campaign closely from prison and rooting for his dear friend, Donald Trump, to win the Republican nomination.

In 1998, Fogle reached out to Trump as a way to gain money to help start a photography business called Happy Kids Photography. They had allegedly met on an online photography forum and “hit it off.”

After Jared was discovered by Subway, Trump often gave the popular pitchman free advice when it came to negotiating contracts with Subway, and even unofficially helped architect the Jared Foundation.

Trump occasionally vacationed with Fogle, travel records logging trips to places such as Thailand and Cambodia. They also enjoyed spending time together, Trump often spending the weekend at Fogle’s home where the men reportedly “enjoyed talking” and “playing checkers.”

Fogle sent this Trump endorsement letter through his lawyers for public release:

Dear American voters:

Donald Trump is one of the most honorable men I’ve ever known. After I was arrested, he provided much needed emotional support and prayer. He prayed for me to find comfort in my time of emotional chaos, and I believe his prayers worked and got me through the legal hell I was in.

I know he continues to pray that I will not be hurt in prison and I think Don is part of why I’m doing so well. I’m even thriving!

A true man of God is what this country needs, one who isn’t afraid to Make This Country Great Again, and that’s what Donald Trump will do. He cares for us all, even those that society has deemed unworthy. That is what a good man does, and that is what a good president should do.

Please cast your vote for Donald Trump.

With my deepest sincerity,

Jared Fogle

The Trump campaign has not responded to the endorsement.

Facebook Releasing Option To Block Foreigners From Friend Requesting You

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SILICON VALLEY, California – 

People should be careful about unusual friend requests on Facebook because most of them are scams, according to an expert. University of South Florida information systems professor Brandon Gill said that people should be cautious when getting requests from others they don’t know.

“In many cases, the reason these persons are friend requesting people are scams, including trying to steal people’s identities. Often though, they are just foreigners who want to practice their English, and that can be even worse.”

Although Facebook has options in the privacy settings to block people from friend requesting a user, many want to make new friends, but not filter through people with names like Миша Петров, Arablife Mike, and Sarkar Deepankar.

Facebook user Jessie Rose is excited about the new options. “I used a picture of a hot chick as my profile pic so I get a lot of friend requests. I am so tired of weeding through the Sayeeds and Aashrafs. Sometimes I accidentally click accept, and it’s annoying to have to go through and delete these guys. I only want to get hit on by people in the United States.”

Trump Promises To Release Sex Tape Of Melania If Elected

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WASHINGTON, D.C. – 

Losing points in the polls has caused Donald Trump to get creative. Trump has promised that if he gets elected, not only will he build a wall between the US and Mexico, and create new jobs, but he will release a pornographic tape featuring his wife.

Unlike most first ladies, Melania Trump is a former model known for posing and looking pretty. Previous first ladies have been known for standing by their presidential hubbies while working with the public on projects important to them. Melania has previously said that she see’s herself as more of supportive role to her husband and more hands off in the politics realm.

“I’m totally fine with it. I don’t want to actually do any of the drab first lady duties, Consider this my civic duty, after which I will return to my New York City Penthouse,” said Melania. “Whatever Donnie-Don wants me to do.”

Since she has a past rooted in modeling, Melania has several racy photos circulating the internet including a photo of her in a gold bathing suit while 7 months pregnant with her only child back in the early 2000’s. She even posed mostly nude for GQ before being married to Trump.

As the years go by, and new first ladies are introduced, they grow in their modern style. Though Melania Trump is an ex model, she says that her current First Lady style will be aligned with classic first ladies like Jackie Onassis – with a little bit of Marilyn Monroe thrown in.

Trump Superfan Gets Portrait Tattoo Inside Her Anus

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LAS VEGAS, Nevada – 

A Donald Trump superfan has gone to great lengths to both show – and hide – her support for Making America Great Again. Mark Rogers, a tattoo artist in Las Vegas, Nevada, has confirmed that he did tattoo a portrait of the Republican nominee inside the anus of a 29-year-old woman.

“She doesn’t want her name out there, because her family doesn’t know she’s a Trump supporter, so she doesn’t want me to mention her, but I can confirm that I did give her the tattoo, yes,” said Rogers. “I was surprised that a supporter would want his tattoo in their asshole; that seems more like something that someone who hates him would get – at least placement wise, but she said she wanted to keep it a secret.”

Rogers says that in his 20 years of tattooing, it’s not the first time he’s tattooed someone’s anus, but it is the first time he’s done a portrait there.

“It was a long, slow process, but we got a really good likeness, I think,” said Rogers. “For my money, though, I wish I could have done a Clinton portrait instead.”

Donald Trump Declines Debate With Sanders, Suggests Fistfight Instead

WASHINGTON, D.C. –

Donald Trump on Friday said he would not debate Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders because it would be “inappropriate” to square off against the candidate who currently trails Hillary Clinton in the Democratic primary fight. Trump initially agreed to do the interview, and then changed his mind numerous times in the span of a few days.

Sanders calls Trump a liar. Trump responded by saying, “Oh, Crazy Ol’ Bernie, don’t listen to him and his so called logic.” Trump went on to say, “I did not decide to debate with Bernie because as a business man I don’t agree to a deal where I don’t come out ahead. My supporters don’t care about things like debates. What speaks to my supporters is good old fashioned blood, and I’d knock that old Jew into next week.”

Political analyst Eugune Scott told CNN, “I didn’t think he’d [Trump] fare very well in a fight with Sanders. Plus, do we really need anymore proof what a barbaric ignoramus Trump is?”

Clinton Campaign Says They Have Trump/Melania Sex Tape And They’ll Release It If He Doesn’t Drop Out

WASHINGTON, D.C. – 

Hillary Clinton’s campaign manager has release an email to the press, stating that they have a secret recording of Donald Trump and wife, Melania Trump, having sex – and they plan to release it “accidentally” if he doesn’t drop out of the race.

“If you think that some of the things that Trump has said and done in the past should be embarrassing, there is nothing that touches this,” read the email. “We have secured the tape through legal, legitimate channels, and we are prepared to release it to the public if Trump does not drop from the race.”

According to Trump, it is impossible that Hillary is in possession of a tape of him having sex.

“I have not had sex with my wife, or any woman, in nearly 20 years,” said Trump. “I may have implied that I had a large penis earlier in the race, and that’s true, but it’s also flaccid as hell, and doesn’t get much use. You’d think it would be obvious that a woman as attractive as Melania would be in this for the money, and the power, and not for what is hanging down there.”

The Clinton campaign says that they are not swayed by Trump’s comments, and are fully standing behind their statement that they will release the video if Trump does not back down.

Donald Trump Admits He Was Only Running For President To Get Hillary Elected

WASHINGTON, D.C – 

The rumors were true after all. Donald Trump has just admitted that he was a Hillary Clinton plant the whole time.

Many have suspected as much, and liberal trolls on the internet have been saying it for months, but now Donald Trump himself has admitted that he is running as a Republican to ensure Hillary Clinton will win in November. Trump revealed via Twitter that he made a deal with Hillary in 2014; this all unfolding mere days after Trump’s lock on securing the Republican nomination

After Donald Trump made this announcement, campaign manager Gerald Rogers released a press release documenting the entire charade.

“Electing Hillary Clinton, the most disliked Democrat politician in decades, would have been impossible unless she were running against a Republican that was even worse. Although, it couldn’t just be any Republican, it would have to be the absolute worst Republican in the country,” said Rogers. “It would have to be a Republican that was so bad even other Republicans would denounce them. It would have to be someone that would split the party and ensure Hillary could win the White House with only 40% of the vote.”

Trump has said now that he has gained the GOP nomination, though, he will continue to run, because “being president” is something that he says he can “really kick ass” at.

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