NASA’s Hubble Telescope Discovers Signs of Life In Extremely Distant Galaxy

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WASHINGTON, D.C – NASA's Hubble Telescope Discovers Signs of Life In Extremely Distant Galaxy

Officials at NASA headquarters in Washington, D.C, have confirmed that the powerful Hubble telescope has found what experts believe to be conclusive evidence of life within a distant galaxy which was discovered last month.

NASA spokesperson Carl Wright said that the new findings are a major breakthrough for not only NASA, but for the entire world. “What we have found, with the proof we have discovered, this is possibly the biggest, most important finding in NASA history,” Wright told the Associated Press. “This absolutely puts to rest any doubt that life exists outside of our own galaxy.”

Peering through the giant cosmic magnifying glass, the Hubble Space Telescope spotted the galaxy last month. It is said to be the furthest galaxy ever seen, at more than 65 billion light years away. The galaxy, known as X12-P45, was detected by the Frontier Fields program, an ambitious three-year study that teams Hubble with NASA’s other observatories, the Spitzer Space Telescope and the powerful Chandra X-ray Observatory. These powerful lenses allow astronomers to find distant, dim structures that until now have been too faint to see.

Wright went on to explain in the briefing that the forms of life discovered seem to be those of intelligence. “We aren’t just talking about a few plants or trees of some kind, we are talking about intelligent life forms which have built structures, civilizations, buildings. These structures were built by something, which only leads us to believe they are aliens of some kind, maybe even very human-like beings. It remains to be seen, but this is huge progress for the entire world to find something of such important significance,” Wright stated.

When asked if NASA expects the findings of alleged intelligent life form to panic people on the planet Earth, Wright chuckled, and assured that there is no impending source of danger. “We clearly are the aggressors here, the people of the world have nothing to fear. We can’t do anything without being violent and forceful, so if we know they are there before they know we are here, then all is well. The further ahead we get in science, the bigger the advantage we have. If these turn out to be hostile alien life forms, we will take the bull by the horns. Never under-estimate the power of mankind.” he said.

Private companies, including McDonald’s and Starbucks, say they are willing to fund an expedition to explore the new galaxy and planet, in exchange for being the first Earth establishments allowed to build there.

 

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Dennis Rodman Claims He Was Abducted By Aliens Twice During NBA Career

LOUISVILLE, Kentucky – Dennis Rodman Claims He Was Abducted By Aliens On Two Separate Occasions

Controversial ex-NBA star Dennis Rodman said in a radio interview on Louisville sports station WKRD 790 AM that he was abducted by aliens twice during his NBA career. While on the road promoting his soon-to-be-released biography, The Constant Rebound, Rodman, for the first time, spoke about being abducted by aliens.

“I was playing for the Spurs in 1993 and I was abducted by aliens two different times during the off-season,” Rodman said casually while being asked about his antics on and off the court. Thinking that Rodman was joking, sports talk show host Tony ‘Birdman’ Griffith immediately laughed during the live interview. “No, I’m completely serious, and for the first time ever, I am coming forward and announcing it. I have been dealing with it for years and there are others out there afraid to say anything, so on their behalf I wish to come forward,” Rodman said adamantly. “The world noticed a drastic change in my behavior when I was a player, and later on when I tried my hand at acting – which I sincerely apologize for, by the way – and it’s high-time I admit that my behavior was a direct result of my alien abductions.”

Griffith then apologized for laughing, and commented by saying, “Oh my God, you are serious, I’m so sorry. So how did this affect your basketball career?”

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“They did something to me, and I don’t mean via anal probes necessarily, and it actually seemed to help my game and opened my mind as a human being. I was scared to death when it happened, and I still have dreams about it every night, but I honestly think [the aliens] are here to help us. The problem is that the people who are abducted have a hard time understanding and coping with it, most keep it a secret. I kept it a secret because I was afraid people would think I was, ironically enough, crazy,” Rodman said.

Rodman went on to say the alien abductions are brought up in detail in the book, which has not yet been released. “This is only my second interview promoting the book, I figured I need to get that off my chest sooner rather than later. My book will be released sometime in January. My agent figured that we should get a jump on promotion, he knew I was nervous about what people would think of me,” Rodman told Griffith.  “If you get my book when it comes out, you will read all about it, we don’t have enough time to get into it anymore today. My time in North Korea was related to the abductions, but I am not prepared to talk about that right now. So don’t ask,” Rodman added, referring to his bizarre trips to North Korea to meet with leader Kim Jong-un.

Griffith immediately went on to change the subject of North Korea and asked Rodman about the three championships he won with the Chicago Bulls from 1995-1998. “So you are in Chicago playing with Jordan and Pippen with Phil Jackson as your coach, what was that like? What was the team chemistry like on that team during the three-peat run?” Griffith asked.

“It was the only time in my career that I felt like I was understood. Phil Jackson knew how my mind worked and got the best out of me. He was more of a friend than a coach. It was great playing with all those guys, something that will stay with me the rest of my life,” Rodman replied.

The official release date of the book has not been set, however it is expected to hit bookshelves sometime in January.

 

 

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