NYC Residents Report Polar Bear Sightings Throughout City

NEW YORK CITY, New York –

Yesterday, inhabitants of New York reported seeing polar bears in different public places. Scientists are trying to understand how the animals got to the city.

“First I thought I got crazy, I mean, I saw a bear in the middle of the city! Then I asked my girlfriend if she saw it too. She did! Man, there was a real polar bear walking around NYC as if it was some kind of Antarctica!” says Matt Barrow, one of the witnesses.

Bears were seen in East Village, Astor Row, Bushwick and Greenpoint. Three times it was one single grown-up bear, and once a person reported seeing a whole family of bears. Only one bear was caught, and has been taken to the Bronx Zoo.

Today, scientists from Columbia University and New York University met to discuss the issue. “It’s a puzzle, but we have a few theories and we will find out if one of them is real,” says Dr Hannah Sparks.

Scientists think the event might be connected to the harsh winter New York City is now experiencing. Some of them believe black bears that live in the state of New York suddenly evolved into polar bears. This incredibly fast evolution is supposed to be caused by weather conditions.

“Perhaps bears adjust better than humans. People still cannot accept it’s snowing so much,” says Dr. Sparks. “We believe the bears left the woods and came to the city, because they got shocked with their own sudden transformation and started wandering around. Other scientists say the bears traveled to The Big Apple from Canada. Animals sensed the coldness of New York City, and realized it is now a great place to live. According to one theory, they traveled through the land, while the second claims they used ice floes and sailed the ocean.”

Authorities are urging people that if they see the polar bears on the streets of New York City to please call Wildlife Management or the local police. They warn residents that they should not touch the animals, as they aren’t just white, adorable balls of fur. The fluffiness is just a cover for strength and danger.

OAK BLUFFS, Massachusetts –

Day 5 of President Barack Obama’s annual vacation to the resort island community of Martha’s Vineyard was met with dismay and controversy, when a fresh-water pond was drained so that a commemorative golf ball could be retrieved.

During an early round of play at the exclusive Farm Neck Golf Club located in the town of Oak Bluffs, an unidentified member of the President’s entourage hit a ball into a pond facing the eastern edge of the course. The water hazard is located above a natural aquifer made up of sand and gravel, and serves as an essential ground water filter.

Cal Silva, Environmental Quality Officer for Dukes County remarked, “The natural purifying system provided by the aquifer is indispensable for proper environmental balance, not only for this locale, but also for the entire Island. We learned today that the pond was drained by executive order without our consent. A homeowner whose property abuts the golf course informed me when he noticed that dredging of the pond had started, and quite honestly, I was shocked. The health and well-being of local shellfish and wildlife may very well be severely compromised due to this,” added Silva.

Reaction spread quickly throughout this closely-knit community, made up of year-rounders, summer residents, and day-trippers. Cafe owner Suzanne North expressed a commonly shared opinion.

“This the kind of place where you leave things the way you found them, especially when it comes to nature. It’s unfathomable to me how this was allowed to happen, and all for a golf ball? This is one of the few places left where people can share something special. A lot of my regulars are very upset about it.”

Cafe patron Roland Sanders commented, “They [the President and his family] keep a pretty low profile around here normally, except for when they come in town to one of the restaurants. You wouldn’t hardly know they’re here until the whole Secret Service shows up and whatnot, so that’s pretty exciting because you know he’s close by. But this thing with the pond has made a lot of people a little uncomfortable now. It’s like they took charge all of a sudden and changed the way things work without first thinking about the Vineyard or asking anybody.”

Not everyone in the town was as upset at the situation as Sanders, though. Several avid golfers from the area say they completely understood losing a ball in that water trap.

“I’ve golfed at Farm Neck many, many times,” said resident Henry Bellows. “I’ve lost countless balls to that pond. If I had the power to have it drained to get them back, I would have. Now that it’s happened, though, I am tempted to sneak down there with a bucket and pick up some free balls.”

Quality officer Silva expressed optimism that the natural balance could be restored if enough rainfall replenishes the now drained wetland.

“Nature has a way of taking care of itself. Already there are a number of birds who are feeding at the marshland that was created by this event, so that’s a benefit in a strange way which we’ve not been able to observe before. I can only hope for the best, but my office will be meeting with the President’s staff and I’ve personally requested a meeting with the head of the EPA. She’s a New Englander, so I know she understands the island and how strongly we feel about this.”

According to reports, Environmental Protection Agency Administrator Gina McCarthy, a Greater Boston area resident, would soon be traveling to the island, located 4 miles from the Massachusetts coastline. President Obama would not comment on the incident, but a representative from the White House said that the environment has always been important to the President and his family.

“This was a really important golf ball, though,” he added. “One of a kind. In case you are wondering, we were able to retrieve the ball after draining the pond, so it was not a total loss.”