The Internet has been buzzing over the last couple of weeks as stargazers prepare to witness the most miraculous event seen in this generation. On September 5, 2017 the moon will appear to duplicate 37 times, with this phenomenon being visible from almost every spot on Earth. According to astronomers, this event will not recur until the year 2274, and hasn’t happened in nearly 300 years.
For those who are unaware, the Earth’s moon is positioned approximately 22 light years away from us, almost on the other end of the Milky Way, which means we don’t see the Moon the way it is visible today; we are actually seeing a version of the moon from 22 years ago. On September 5, we will see a reflection of the last 37 years due to a cosmic light anomaly from the sun’s once-in-a-lifetime alignment.
If you are as excited about this as everybody else is on the Internet, SHARE this with your friends so they do not miss this once-in-a-lifetime event. Remember, this will not happen again for nearly 260 years!
CAPE CANAVERAL, Florida –
NASA today confirmed images relayed to Earth by the Mars Rover are, indeed, a Titleist golf ball. Scientists were happy to report that the mystery of the golf ball has been solved, and that there’s a logical explanation for it.
”When the image of the golf ball was released, internet rumors ranged from golf playing aliens to the Mars Rover mission being a NASA hoax filmed here on Earth. I’m happy to report we have solved the mystery of the golf ball found in the Gabrielle Crater on Mars,” said Lead Mars Rover scientist Carl White. “The golf ball is none other than the one Alan Shepard hit off the lunar surface in 1971 during the Apollo 14 mission. When Mr. Shepard hit the ball on the Moon, with the Moon’s low gravity the ball was launched into space. We have calculated the ball traveled 35 million miles and took forty years to land on Mars.”
“Since the ball landed in Gabrielle Crater we are happy to say that a NASA astronaut now holds the longest hole in one record in golf history,” said president of Titleist Golf Company Joe Goldsmith. “Unfortunately, Mr. Shepard died in 1988, but I met him a few times, and I’m sure he would be proud to hold such a record.”
“Alan played golf all the time,” says widow Mary Shepard. ”I’m not sure how proud he would be though that the ball was found on Mars. When he got back from the Apollo 14 mission in 1971, he told me he was aiming at Uranus, so he must have hooked it.”
HOUSTON, Texas –
NASA officials today admitted what many conspiracy theorists have been claiming for years, that man never walked on the moon. Chief scientist Alan Anderson said the lunar landing hoax had ‘gone on long enough,’ and that it was becoming ridiculous to keep claiming that men have been to the moon.
”You have to understand, NASA was under a lot of pressure when President Kennedy promised the Nation that he’d put a man on the moon before the Ruskies,” said Space Technology Scientist Alan Anderson. “We told him it was impossible, so he knew it had to be faked.”
“As the story goes he threatened to cut off funding if we didn’t go along with the hoax,” said NASA engineer Rod Sterling. “People are smarter these days, and it’s getting more ridiculous and more difficult to keep the lie going. We’re coming forward today to put an end to the lies and the manipulation of the public, and to put a stop to a planned 2018 hoax Mars mission. NASA does a lot of good things, and our technology advances have helped mankind in many ways. I just don’t want to see us waste our time and your tax dollars. We have real work to do.”
NASA spokesmen said that President Obama had, like all presidents before him, knowledge of the hoax, and was required to keep it a secret by the CIA and the White House.
“In the government, it’s normally extremely hard to keep a secret. Something like this, I can’t believe we’ve been able to keep it going this long,” said Anderson. “I mean, Nixon couldn’t keep a break-in at a hotel under wraps, and Clinton couldn’t keep his affairs out of the media for more than 5 minutes. I honestly can’t believe no one has spilled the beans before now.”
LAS VEGAS, Nevada –
It has been confirmed today that a private citizen will be taking a trip to a place no man has gone before – unless, of course, you’re a man that happens to be an astronaut.
A new, privately funded space exploration company called GalaxyTech is sending its first citizen to the moon. The program is using this opportunity as a way to gain a little bit of cash, because as they said ‘a ticket to the moon don’t come cheap.’
“The exciting part of the announcement comes when we let everyone know who the first guinea pig, er, I mean, who the first brave explorer will be,” said company representative Sherman Helms. “The person who will be taking the trip could be argued as one of the most famous athletes in the world – his name is Floyd Mayweather!”
Mayweather announced his trip to the moon earlier this week through his publicist, but initial reports seemed to come through the media as a purported joke.
“I just thought this would be a great chance for the best on Earth to hold the crown as the best on the Moon, too,” said Mayweather. “I’ve done almost everything there is to do on this planet, and I’m ready to see what the moon has to offer. Plus, who knows, maybe they be some type of alien up there that wants to go a couple rounds.”
The space program sending Mayweather to the moon hopes that other celebrities will follow suit. While Floyd my be the first private citizen going to the moon, GalaxyTech say that they sincerely hope that he isn’t the last.