As Reported By World News Daily Report:
A 32-year old man went on a killing frenzy last night, after spending 36 hours in a row watching Walkind Dead while doing drugs. According to the police, Kevin Fogarty was so badly intoxicated with crystal meth, that he became convinced his apartment was surrounded by zombies.
He equipped himself with an assault rifle, two pistols, a machette and a hammer, before going outside to “kill undead…”
LOS ANGELES, California –
AMC, the channel behind the hit show The Walking Dead, says that the next season, which is the second-half of season 6, returning February, will be the last.
“Frankly, the show has gotten stale,” said showrunner Mark Lyons. “When we started this show, it was all people talked about, and now, it’s gone a little downhill. We started noticing it when people would post spoilers about characters or deaths on their social media pages, and no one even complained about it. When that starts happening, you know it’s time.”
Actors on the show say that they are “relieved” that the show will not be getting picked up for another season, because they’ve all gotten “pretty damn sick” of playing out the same storylines over and over again.
“There only so much walking, talking, and zombie killing you can really do before the audience gets bored, and before the actors get bored,” said star Norman Reedus. “Frankly, I hope that Darryl does die. At least now I know no one will riot, because no one is even really watching the show. I’ll be happier going back to movies, anyway. Boondock Saints 3 is on my horizon, and I can’t wait.”
WASHINGTON, D.C. –
After years of the uncontrollable so-called “Zombie Movie” virus infecting nearly the entire world, the CDC (Center for Disease Control) released a statement saying it has run its course and is beginning to fade away.
“This disease is deadly because it grows so quickly,” a representative said. “Companies make zombie movies and people eat them up. Those people bring their friends into the mix, who then bring their friends, and so-on.”
Especially with the rise of superhero movies, adaptations of fairy tales, and indie films, the zombie movie genre is expected to reach its pre-millennium state of about one movie per year, down from twelve. The CDC warns, however, that the nature of the virus is deceptive.
“It could surge back at any time. All it takes is one infectious movie and the entire industry will turn into a horde of genre-milking mindless zombies once again.”
A similar outbreak occurred in the past with the Vampire Movie Virus, although society as a whole was able to completely stop its self-sustaining spread thanks to the Twilight series.
The CDC shared a list of four ways to prepare for the inevitable return of the virus:
Experts say with proper care and quick handling of outbreaks, zombie movies may all but disappear by 2018.
SENOIA, Georgia – 
Norman Reedus, the 45-year-old star and fan favorite who plays the part of crossbow zombie hunting expert Daryl Dixon on the AMC mega-hit television series The Walking Dead, was accidentally injured during filming of the sixth season of the series earlier today, and currently is listed in critical condition at a hospital located in Atlanta, Georgia.
A small explosive charge used to simulate gunfire went off inside co-star Andrew Lincoln’s backpack during filming and exploded, hitting Reedus, who was said to have been standing behind Lincoln at the time of the accident. Lincoln, who plays the part of Rick Grimes on the show, suffered only minor injuries.
Lincoln activated a toggle switch on his belt and set off the small charge, called a squib, a device commonly used on movie sets to simulate the effects of gunfire, and Reedus was struck in the abdomen by a projectile. He was airlifted to an anonymous hospital in Georgia.
“The surgery went as well as could possibly be expected, but Mr. Reedus is not out of the woods by any means. The next twenty-four hours are absolutely crucial in his recovery,” said trauma surgeon Dr. Amar Ashamalla. “In an unrelated injury, we removed an arrowhead which had been lodged in his right thigh for what must have been several weeks, and was left untreated. Apparently, Mr. Reedus somehow injured himself and didn’t notice, or didn’t care. He also had many cuts, scrapes, and bruises, presumably from his grueling film schedule for The Walking Dead, and had reportedly not spoken to the on-set physician about those, either. Curiously, we also found a fragment of ballistics casing in his left forearm. It had clearly been there for years, and we assume it must have been something that happened during his filming of Boondock Saints. Regardless, he is in great hands here, and we will see to it that he recovers in a timely manner.”
When asked about the injuries, Walking Dead Executive Producer Frank Darabont said that Reedus was known as being the ‘toughest actor’ he has ever worked with. “By tough, though, I mean serious, hardcore, no-bullshit badass. He’s laid back and easy-going when it comes to acting, but he’s an intense guy who doesn’t mess around. Norman is a freak, especially when he channels himself in the role of Daryl Dixon. He gets hurt all the time, and never lets anybody treat his injuries. He shoots himself with an arrow and he just doesn’t care? It’s crazy. But, there is absolutely zero doubt in my mind that Norman will make a quick, full recovery and Daryl will be back in action in no time. Norm is one tough son-of-a-bitch!”
