Woman Crushed To Death While Having Sex With Horse

Ad

horse

HUNTSVILLE, Alabama – 

Elvis, a spotted saddle horse, has been removed from his owner’s custody after crushing a woman to death. According to husband Rick Brownlee, Mary Brownlee had grown up around horses and this wasn’t her first time, so he was not worried she would be injured.

Rick Brownlee, Steven Hutchinson, and Joseph Hutchinson, who all live in the home where the horse was stabled, were not immediately forthcoming about the manner in which Mary had been killed.

Officer Michael Deschenes says at first they pretended not to know how she had been killed when they were questioned.

“Of course it was suspicious because she had her pants around her ankles. There was a puddle of what appeared to be a large amount of ejaculate. I told them that they were going to fess up or they was all going to jail.”

The men finally confessed, and police seized a video showing Mary Brownlee’s last minutes. On the video the men can be heard cheering, laughing, and breathing heavily while the horse mounted Mary. Investigators say the cracking of her ribs can be isolated on the tape. Because Mary was being crushed she was unable to scream for help.

Joseph Hutchinson says they honestly did not know she was in trouble. “I heard a snap. Just thought it was the fence starting to give. I’m real sorry the horse had to go through this. You can tell he’s awfully traumatized over it.”

According to police, the horse will be placed with another local rancher who has promised that he will not let anyone have sex with it.

Baby Born With Facial Features Of Elephant Gets Mother Arrested On Beastiality Charges

baby elephant

SAN DIEGO, California – 

A San Diego woman, Julie Clarke, 30, was arrested on possible beastiality charges after her baby, who was born almost 9 weeks premature, was delivered and had facial features of an elephant.

“We are extremely excited and immensely disturbed that this child was born,” said Dr. Emmett Brown of the San Diego Medical Center. “Excited because it would be the first case of a sort of ‘natural’ gene combing, forming a new species. We are disturbed because the only way that this baby could have been made was because his mother had sex with an elephant.”

Learn more about RevenueStripe...

Clarke, who happens to be an employee at the San Diego Zoo, says that she didn’t have sex with an elephant, although she does say that she has no idea who the father of her baby is.

“I was going through a bit of a phase late last year into the beginning of this year,” said Clarke. “I was pretty much screwing anything that moved. I had just gotten out of a bad relationship, so it’s what you do, you know? I think I’d remember having sex with an elephant though. Wouldn’t I? I mean seriously? I drank a ton at that point, but…Oh God, did I fuck an elephant and forget about it?”

Doctors are working closely with police investigators to see if Clarke should be charged with beastiality, or if some other sort of genetic malfunction caused the elephant face of the baby.

“One thing is certain, though, regardless of whether Ms. Clarke remembers having sex with an elephant,” said Dr. Brown. “The elephant, wherever he is, definitely remembers. After all, an elephant never forgets.”

Man Uses Loophole In Gay Marriage Laws To Wed German Shepherd

AUGUSTA, Maine – Man Uses Loophole In Gay Marriage Laws To Wed German Shepherd

A Maine resident, 34-year-old Charles DeMar, has discovered a loophole in his state’s gay marriage laws that have allowed him to legally wed his 2-year-old German Shepherd mix, Jake. DeMar bought Jake from a shelter a little over a year ago, and he says that they have been inseparable ever since.

“I love Jake more than I have ever loved anyone in the world,” said DeMar, a retail manager for a large big-box chain. “I’m not homosexual, myself. I’ve never really been attracted to any man or woman that I’ve known. When I adopted Jake, I was lonely. I haven’t been lonely since.”

According to the wording of laws in most states where gay marriage has been legalized, a man or woman may marry someone of the same sex, and be granted the same rights and privileges as that of heterosexual couples. The laws in Maine, which voted to legalize same-sex marriages in 2012, are worded slightly differently, allowing DeMar to legally wed his canine pal.

“In Maine, we made the mistake of saying that any male can marry another male, or female can marry female, and be granted the rights of marriage,” said David Klein, a representative for the Maine State Bar Association. “Because it does not say man and man, but rather male and male, Mr. DeMar was able to apply for and receive his marriage license at his local town hall.”

Normally, laws would also be worded to include statements about both parties being mentally fit and able to sign the marriage certificate, which is a legally binding document.

“That wasn’t the case in Maine, either,” said DeMar. “I really looked into a lot before we went through with this. I signed my name, and Jake really did put his paw into some ink and I had him step on the certificate. I think he knows that we’re married. He gave me sloppy kisses right there at the town hall in front of the notary public.”

Officials for the Maine State Attorney General say that they are working with the local and state government agencies to re-word the law as quickly as possible, before anyone else uses the loophole to wed their pets.

“This was an oversight on our part that is bringing us disturbing attention,” said Klein. “You can bet that the laws will be rescinded and changed as quickly as possible.”

“I’m just so happy that I was able to make this happen,” said DeMar. “Unfortunately, Maine state law is extremely strict on the acts of bestiality, so I refuse to elaborate on whether or not we have consummated our relationship. I will say, though, that neither myself or Jake have ever been ones to ‘follow the rules,’ if you know what I mean.”

Design & Developed By Open Source Technologies.