Vin Diesel Hospitalized After On-Set Fight With Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson While Filming New ‘Fast & Furious’ Movie

fight

LOS ANGELES, California – 

Vin Diesel was reported hospitalized after getting into a physical altercation with his co-star, former WWE champion Dwane ‘The Rock’ Johnson, while filming the latest Fast and Furious movie.

According to reports, the two action powerhouses got into a verbal battle on set, and the fight turned physical after Diesel pushed Johnson and called him a “two-bit cocksucker.”

“I don’t know what started the fight, but I know there had been some heat between the two during the filming of the last movie,” said Chris Ripkin, a production assistant on the movie. “There might have been some leftover animosity, or it could have been something new. Honestly no one is sure. But what I am sure of is that Rock totally laid the goddamn smackdown on Vin, and it was kind of awesome.”

Private studio security was called to the scene, but there has been no official police report filed, and likely isn’t going to be.

“These things are handled internally quite often,” said entertainment lawyer Ricky Melvin. “Whatever the deal is, these two guys will either battle it out in person again, or battle it out in court.”

Diesel reportedly suffered from a fractured jaw and several bruised and broken ribs. Shooting has been put on hold until March 20th.

ISIS Claims Responsibility For Playground Fight at NYC Elementary School

NEW YORK CITY, New York – 

A vicious schoolyard fight took place after school on Friday afternoon, and terrorist group ISIS has claimed responsibility for the attacks.

Nicky DeCarlo, 7, was reportedly attacked by a “big bully,” during lunch recess, and tattled to his teacher. When the bully, 9-year-old Al Giovannelli, found out he was in trouble, he told DeCarlo that they were going to “fight after school.”

“It is really such a common thing, kids fighting and bullying and what not, but at this age, we tend to just call the parents, try a little mediation, maybe keep them in from recess, and everything is okay,” said Principal Stephanie Biro. “In this case, the kids were actually fine by the next day. They quickly became friends after the fight, and Little Al even said he was sorry for punching Nicky in the face. It’s pretty common with kids to ‘hate,’ and then feel bad. The real confusion here comes with why ISIS has claimed responsibility for the fight.”

According to police, ISIS stepped in and said that they were responsible for the altercation, and made several posts on social media stating they were the perpetrators.

“Al is definitely not in ISIS,” said his mom to local news channel WBTU – New York. “I know that any time there is a big attack, anywhere in the world, these terrorists like to claim responsibility, but this is just getting silly. We’re not in ISIS. Albert doesn’t even know what ISIS is. They’re really reaching here.”

“WE HAVE CLAIMED THE SCHOOL YARDS OF AMERICA, WE HAVE CAUSED THESE FIGHTS. THIS IS OUR TIME, AND ALL INFIDELS WILL REAP WHAT THEY HAVE CREATED,” read a post made to Twitter from an “official” ISIS account. “WE HAVE CAUSED THIS FIGHT TODAY. ALL CHILDREN WILL BECOME MEMBERS SOON.”

Police are not at all taking the statement seriously.

17 Children Are DEAD After a Fight Breaks Out in Middle School Over Fidget Spinners

fs

LYNN, Massachusetts – 

Seventeen pre-teens, aged 11-15, are dead after a massive fight broke out at a Lynn, Massachusetts middle school over the latest craze, fidget spinners.

According to police, several children began arguing about whose fidget spinner was “the best,” and several others began pestering the first group for being “super gay,” and having fidget spinners in the first place.

“Before you knew it, we had 60 or 70 kids just attacking each other,” said Darlene McDonald, a 7th grade teacher at Lynn Middle School. “Fidget spinners were being thrown everywhere – I saw one kid take his fidget spinner between his fingers like a pair of brass knuckles, and beat another student in the face repeatedly until one of his eyes simply popped out of his head. It was gruesome, and the most disturbing thing I’ve ever seen. But if they think I’m getting involved in this shit at $14 bucks an hour, they can get real.”

Police were called to break up the melee, but by the time they arrived, 13 students had died, and another 24 were injured. Another 4 died later on due to sustained injuries.

“We had tried to ban fidget spinners in the school, but the parents, they lobbied to bring them back,” said Principal Grace Marlins. “So we let them play, knowing full well the dangers. I cannot believe that something like this happened over a $1 piece of plastic. Sad thing is, the parents still won’t let us ban them – they just want everything monitored better. It’s crazy.”

Fidget spinners are quickly become a problem in many classrooms throughout the country, with teachers calling them a “distraction” and a “time waster.”

“This just proves how dangerous they really are, though,” said McDonald. “We went through a lot of phases in my days as a teacher – slap bracelets, pogs, and then cell phones, of course. But this is the first time I’ve ever seen kids beat each other to death over a fad. This world has gone truly crazy.”

Pregnant Woman Severely Beaten While Out At Bar

bar

TOLEDO, Ohio – 

Danielle Pierce was at a bar Sunday evening for a friend’s birthday when she was reportedly approached by another woman, Karley Stephenson, who accused Pierce of drinking. The altercation became heated after Pierce told Stephenson to “mind her own business,” and tried to walk away.

Pierce says she told Stephenson she was only drinking Coke and grenadine. “I told that psycho, ‘I’m eight months pregnant. I ain’t drinking,’ but she still came at me. She knocked the drink out of my hand, and it went all down the front of my shirt. Then she got nasty.”

After knocking the drink out of Pierce’s hand, Stephenson reportedly grabbed Pierce by the hair, and proceed to hit her in the face with a beer bottle until it shattered.

Security staff detained Stephenson until police arrived, and Pierce was brought by rescue to a local hospital. Doctors say she will likely have permanent disfiguring scars on her face from the attack. Stephenson has refused to apologize for the incident, saying, “She shouldn’t have been at the bar. You don’t go out drinking when you’re pregnant. If she wasn’t there, this wouldn’t have happened to her.”

Doctors say Stephenson’s baby was not harmed in the attack.

SHOCKING PHOTO: President Tries To Kill Stephen Hawking After Argument During White House Dinner

obama

WASHINGTON, D.C. – 

President Obama reportedly had to be pulled off of famed physicist Stephen Hawking after the two got into an altercation at the White House on Wednesday afternoon, say witnesses. According to other attendees, Obama and Hawking got into an argument about which movie was better, The Wiz or The Wizard of Oz. 

“Everyone knows that President Obama is a massive fan of The Wiz,” said another guest at the dinner, who asked not to be named. “Somehow, when the topic of movies was brought up, Mr. Hawking began talking about his love of the character of Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz. As soon as he saw an opening, Obama, of course, brought up The Wiz. From there, all hell broke loose.”

Obama reportedly began lobbing insults at Hawking, calling him a “crippled piece of shit,” and a “movie snob” after Hawking begin talking about how terrible of a movie The Wiz is.

“It was pandemonium. The President actually jumped across the table and flung himself at Stephen, who of course could only yell electronically and blink his eyes in protest,” said another dinner guest. “The Secret Service had to pull President Obama off of poor Mr. Hawking. Sadly, I think they took him away and beat him up a little somewhere else, privately.”

No lawsuits have been filed, but attorneys for Stephen Hawking have a “serious case” against the president, as many witnesses saw the assault.

“Plus, everyone knows how bad The Wiz really is,” said attorney Joe Lean. “I can’t believe anyone would actually like that movie. No offense to the President, or anything.”

Anonymous Source Says Ronda Rousey Was Paid To Take Dive, Lose To Holly Holm

rousey holm

SYDNEY, Australia – 

Former Bantamweight champion Ronda Rousey may have been paid to take a dive during her UFC 193 championship fight, according to anonymous sources.

In a letter that was sent to ESPN offices, a person alleges that he paid millions to have the fight between the two women fixed, saying that he bet big money on Holly Holm, who was at 6-1 odds of losing the bout, and even after an alleged payoff, made $10 million on the fight.

“I have proof that I fixed the championship fight between Rousey and Holm at UFC 193,” read the letter, delivered from an anonymous gmail email account. “I made a substantial amount of money that night, over $10M. I paid Rousey $4M. She wanted to take time off anyway, and she knew it was a great offer.”

According to UFC officials, the fight was completely on the level, although fans weren’t so sure.

“Rousey fought like shit, like there was no way she was going to win, no matter how hard she tried,” said a UFC fan. “Holm? Who the hell is she anyway? It’s crazy that she was able to win against a woman whose last 10 fights had a combined time of one minute. I definitely think there was a fix.”

Representatives for the UFC organization say they are “looking into” the allegations.

Ronda Rousey, Floyd Mayweather To Fight In Exhibition Match In 2016

rousey mayweather

LAS VEGAS, Nevada – 

A joint announcement between the UFC and the World Boxing Association was made this morning, detailing an event to be held next March that will put Floyd “Money” Mayweather in the ring against Ronda Rousey.

“This is a dream match-up, that many internet sports fans have wanted to see,” said George Glass, a WBA representative, live during the ESPN-aired announcement. “Mayweather is known mostly for beating women, and Rousey is known for fighting like a man, so this is going to be a must-watch pay-per-view.”

The event, which is scheduled to take place in March, 2016, at the Luxor Casino in Las Vegas, is still having its details ironed out by officials. The Mayweather camp naturally wants the fight to be boxing rules, while the Rousey camp thinks it should be more along the lines of UFC rules.

Many fans have argued over the last several months about who would win in a fight between the two champions, and fight promoters say that they are hoping this contest puts an end to the speculation.

“The worst thing that could happen is that the fight is a draw,” said Glass. “I don’t know for sure who I’d place my money on, but the one thing I know, is that I’ll certainly be shelling out the $125.99 to watch the fight on Pay-Per-View.

Mayweather is set to take home a purse of $4 million for the fight. Rousey, being a woman, will naturally only take home $2 million.

 

Ronda Rousey To Fight Two Competitors At Once In Epic Bout

Ronda Rousey To Fight Two Competitors At Once In Epic Bout

SAN FRANSISCO, California –

On of the most dominate fighters to ever enter the octagon is making history with her next fight. Ronda Rousey has had fans of the UFC on the edge of their seats ever since see joined the league. Her power, submissions, and quick wins have put her on a level that makes her almost unstoppable to any of her opponents.

The only concern from the UFC is that people may stop watching her fights seeing how see continues to rain supreme. They fear that if she continues on this pace, people may not want to buy her fights on Pay-Per-View when they can easily be watched on social media sites the next day because they are so short.

UFC has announced today that in the next bout with Rousey, she will be taking on two female opponents to be named at a later date.

Dana White has confirmed this, and told us they would have never even thought of such a crazy thing until it was brought up by Rousey after her most recent win.

“She came to me after her most recent win and said ‘you’re going to have to put two fighters in the ring if you want to see a longer fight.’ I laughed and told her that she shouldn’t get to cocky, she then told me she wasn’t kidding and told me to set it up,” said White

The date for the fight has yet to be confirmed and as of now, no fighters have agreed to take part in it.

 

Boxing Champion Floyd Mayweather Jr. Admits He Does Not Want To Fight Manny Pacquiao

Boxing Champion Floyd Mayweather Jr. Admits He Does Not Want To Fight Manny Pacquiao

 

LOS ANGELES, California –

Rapper Curtis “50-Cent” Jackson recently told Sports Illustrated reporter Chris Mannix that he thought that Floyd Mayweather was “scared to death” to fight Manny Pacquiao, implying that Mayweather was afraid of getting beaten or hurt. When Mayweather was asked about the rumor by Los Angeles Observer reporter Nick Tomlinson, Mayweather admitted that he did not want to fight Pacquiao, and would rather do “anything else” than step into the ring with him.

“Hell na, I don’t want to fight Manny Pacquiao,” Mayweather said. “But I ain’t scared of 50-Cent so he can just shut his damn mouth, he don’t speak for me, he is just a punk. I bet he would be scared to fight Manny, too, so I don’t know who he think he is –  for real, I wouldn’t say I am scared to death to fight the dude, but I sure as the hell don’t wanna take the chance, even though I think I’d beat his little ass. I can’t be beat, nobody can or ever will beat me, but I will fight who the hell I wanna fight, put that in your little damn newspapers!”

Pacquiao responded to Mayweather’s statements with laughter. “You can’t take that guy [Mayweather] seriously. He says he cannot be beat but yet he admits he don’t want to fight? In the boxing business that means you are scared. If he is not scared, my message to him is to quit dodging the paperwork and lets make this thing official, Floyd Mayweather, will you or will you not fight me? You cannot runaway any longer. It is time to get this things set up, quit being a punk.” Pacquiao said.

Pacquiao, Mayweather Take Jabs At Each Other Via Social Media

MIAMI, Florida – Manny Pacquiao, Floyd Mayweather Toss Insults Over Who Could Win Fight

Two of the highest paid athletes in the world are all set to meet glove-to-glove in the ring. There have been rumors of this fight happening for several months, and after all the drama, the contracts, and the disappointments, fans can finally prepare themselves to see these two settle it in the ring.

The high-profile fight reportedly began to take shape last year, when friends of Floyd “Money” Mayweather began mercilessly teasing him, claiming that he would never take a fight with Pacquiao because he knew that he would lose. Apparently, Mayweather took this as a challenge, a blow to his ego that rattled his cage enough to agree to get in the ring.

“I’m not afraid of anyone,” says Mayweather via Facebook. “I will step in the ring with King Kong himself, and I’d whoop that monkey’s ass, too. They say money can’t buy you happiness, but I tell you what – I’ll feel extremely happy when I get the extreme amounts of cash from this fight purse. In no way, shape, or form will Manny be able to stand toe-to-toe with me.”

It appears that Mayweather has it in his head already that the fight is in the bag, and he should breeze though it as if it was just any punk off of the street. This may or may not be the case, but in Pacquiao’s eyes, the outcome of the fight will be completely different.

“I’m going to punch him in the face until he can’t get up,” said Pacquiao via Instagram, being as literal as possible in his description of the fight. “I will hit him with my left fist, then I will hit him with that same left fist. Then perhaps a right fist. Eventually, when he is down, I will laugh in his face. Wait and see. All his money, it won’t be able to save him in the ring. Well, maybe he can use a $100 bill to wipe away the blood and tears.”

“Blood and tears? That sonofa—. You know what I’ll use that $100 bill for?” Said Mayweather, in response via Twitter. “I’m going to use that $100 bill to buy a box of tissues, probably Kleenex brand, because they’re way softer than money for wiping away tears. Also, I’ll expect at least $97 in change from that $100, and I’ll put that back in the bank. Can’t be too careful in this economy.”

The full fight card has not yet been announced, but the pay-per-view planning stages are underway.

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