‘Breaking Bad’ Star Bryan Cranston Diagnosed With Cancer

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'Breaking Bad' Star Bryan Cranston Diagnosed With Cancer

 

HOLLYWOOD, California – 

In a tragic twist of fate, Breaking Bad star Bryan Cranston may be facing a similar ordeal to that of his character from the hit TV series.

The actor, also known for his role in the TV series Malcolm In The Middle, has recently had his career diagnosed with a terminal case of cancer. A year and a half after the series finale, in which Cranston played cancer riddled Walter White, doctors have attributed Cranston’s career’s sickness to his minor role in 2014’s reboot of the Godzilla franchise.

“It’s a known carcinogen,” said famed oncologist Dr Hugh Hormones. “Taking small parts in disappointing remakes of classic movies is a surefire way to precipitate the disease. We warn actors time and time again, but after starring in long-running award-winning series, the temptation of getting back out there is just too great.”

Fans of the actor have come out in huge support of his ailing career, sending sympathetic tweets and reposting photos they had taken with him – most of them show the man with a still-healthy looking career.

“Breaking Bad was always gonna be impossible to top,” tweeted TheRealJohnJonson. “#WeLoveYouWalterWhite”

“Bryan Cranston will forever be Walter White in my heart,” posted JessePinkmanStillLives. “#IBoughtGodzillaOnBluRay #ItWasOnSale #SupportCranston”

However, it seems that Cranston may not the only member of the cast of the AMC hit to be stricken with this rampant disease. Co-star Aaron Paul is said to be undergoing tests after symptoms that his own career might be deteriorating due to the incurable illness.

“Aaron took few precautions in exposed himself to an even more severe carcinogen,” said Dr Hormones, referring to Paul’s part in the latest reimagining of the story of Moses, Exodus: Gods and Kings. In it, Paul takes the role of Joshua, whose only lines include shouting the name “Moses” unclearly. This comes hot on the heels of his action film Need For Speed, a film about fast cars that is, curiously, not based on the video game series of the same name, and is a movie that most people aren’t even aware exists.

Family members of both victims have announced that they will stand by their loved ones’ sides throughout, and will “fight this thing together.”

“Aaron and Bryan at least have each other to get through it with. Their careers have for so long been interlinked, and now they will until the end,” said a family friend of Cranston’s.

Reports, however, suggest that Paul may be exposing himself to yet another possibly fatal carcinogen, with rumors placing him in the role of the scarecrow in an as yet unannounced reboot of the Hollywood classic The Wizard of Oz.

‘Dexter’ Creator James Manos Jr. Admits Series Ending Was ‘Horrible,’ Plans To Bring Show Back For One Final Season

'Dexter' Creator James Manos Jr. Admits Series Ending Was 'Horrible,' Plans To Bring Show Back For One Final Season

 

MIAMI, Florida –

It can sometimes be hard to admit when a mistake is made. It can be doubly difficult when the mistake costs millions to produce and leaves a following of fans unsatisfied and despondent. That is why James Manos Jr’s admission that he could have done better with the series’ ending was such a breath of fresh air to Dexter fans.

“Quite frankly, we screwed up. It was horrible, and we’re ready to make it right with a true final season” said Manos Jr.

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The Dexter series pulled in millions of fans to its twisted storyline of a serial killer tied to a bizarre moral code. Throughout eight seasons, the show wowed audiences while keeping them guessing at every turn. Unfortunately, the final episode undid all the positive motion that the previous seasons had built. A ruined climax and a rather uninspired ending left many crying foul and wanting a redo. Now, unhappy fans will finally get their wish.

“To be honest, the ending was simply thrown together because we ran out of time,” said Manos Jr. “We were all dealing with a big bout of writer’s block by the end of the show’s run. We heard that Breaking Bad was putting Walter White in the Northwest forests. We thought it would be great to put our murderer there as well. Can you imagine? A forest battle between Walter White and Dexter Morgan? We thought it was going to be brilliant.”

Unfortunately for Manos, the AMC series turned away from its original concept and killed off Walter White in the final episode, leaving Dexter in the woods alone.

“Without warning, their ending was totally different. We were left hanging there with our murderer out in the forest with no antagonist. But it was too late to save the finale since ours was a week prior to their own. They screwed us, and in turn, we screwed the fans. So now we’ve simply got to do a true final season.”

Manos Jr. Stated the ninth season could begin as early as 2016. Fans are already starting the gossip mill on who will be the antagonist, with many clamoring for Jesse Ventura.

“At the very least, even if we screwed up again, I can promise this,” said Manos Jr. “we will definitely not just cut to black in the middle of a conversation. Sorry, Sopranos. You’re alone in that boat.”

Toys ‘R’ Us To Pull All Toys From Shelves, Doesn’t Want To Risk Offending Anyone

WAYNE, New Jersey – Toys 'R' US To Pull All Toys From Shelves, Doesn't Want To Risk Offending Anyone

Last week, a Florida mother petitioned big box retailer Toys ‘R’ Us to remove a line of action figures based around popular TV show Breaking Bad. The Fort Myers, Florida mother, Susan Schrivjer, started a petition on the website change.org, encouraging people to sign, hoping to get the retailer to remove the toys that she deemed were inappropriate for children.

This morning, Toys ‘R’ Us announced that, unbelievably, Schrivjer has won her battle, and the company will be removing the toys from their shelves immediately. “Let’s just say, the action figures have taken an indefinite sabbatical,” Toys R Us said in a written statement to the press. The retailer had maintained that the figures were sold in limited quantities in the adult-action-figure area of its stores, an area that every TRU store has.

Unfortunately, it looks as the retail giant will not stop with just the Breaking Bad figures, called out for their realism and adult-oriented accessories, including guns and bags of meth. Toys ‘R’ Us has officially announced that they will be pulling every toy from the shelves, lest anyone get offended.

“We know that to most people, toys, action figures, video games, and the like, are extremely mundane, and meant for fun – nothing to get offended over,” said Geoffrey Giraffe, the president of Toys ‘R’ Us. “There is that small sub-sect of people out there, though, that seek out things to be offended by, and then they start their complaints and their petitions, and it’s a media headache, and we just don’t want to deal with it, frankly.”

The company said that normally they’d be rushing to get the latest hot toys and games onto the shelves in preparation for a giant fourth-quarter and holiday season, but instead they are beginning to empty their shelves.

“Sadly, one bad egg has spoiled it for everyone. We deal with millions of customers a year, we want to make sure we listen to every single one of them. If even one is not happy, then we’re not doing our jobs. If they have a complaint, we put our tail between our legs and give in; that’s loyalty and customer dedication. Personally, I only wish we had the resolve of a company like Ben & Jerry’s,” said Giraffe, referencing that company’s announcement last week that they would not give into unnecessary and stupid customer complaint, and would continue use of the name of their ice cream ‘Hazed and Confused.’

“I think the mother who started the petition sounds like a meddling, obnoxious, do-gooder, pain in the ass,” said Robert Thomas, a customer of Toys ‘R’ Us. “I can’t believe that they’re pulling the figures. Seriously, they have Nightmare on Elm Street figures with Freddy Kruger who has knives for fingers. They have Barbies with unattainably-sized tiny hips and fat asses. They have creepy dolls that you feed and then they actually shit their diapers. Yet action figures, that no child should even be familiar with unless their parents let them watch the show in the first place, are offensive? Get a damn life, woman.”

“It’s a sad day for the world of toys and consumer choice, it really is,” said Giraffe. The company plans to remain open, despite not having any product to sell. “We may keep the candy, on the shelves, I suppose. I just hope we don’t offend any diabetics or anything.”

AMC Announces ‘Breaking Bad’ To Return For 6th Season; You Won’t Believe This Plot Twist

LOS ANGELES, California – AMC Announces 'Breaking Bad' Will Return For 6th Season; You Won't Believe This Plot Twist

If you were are fan of the hit AMC TV show Breaking Bad, then I hope you’re sitting down for this news. Vince Gilligan, the creator of the much-loved series, has announced that on top of working on creating spin-off series Better Call Saul, he and his writers have begun working on a sixth season for Breaking Bad.

“It’s true, we did decide to come back for another round with Walt,” said series creator Gilligan. “Better Call Saul is going to be able to stand on its own, but there is more to Walt’s story. He hasn’t died just yet.”

Gilligan says that the story he wanted to tell got wrapped up ‘too quickly,’ and that he, his producers, and AMC executives mutually decided that they needed to provide the fans with at least one more season.

“I was contacted by executives from AMC, the network which had been our home for five great seasons,” said Gilligan. “They told me, in no few words, that they couldn’t survive as a company on just the strength of The Walking Dead; as good as people think that show is for some reason, as many records as it might break, it doesn’t have the viewership or the type of rabid fans that Bad has. So yes, this is about continuing the story for our fans, but it’s also about AMC really, really not wanting to let go of a franchise that has made their channel a contender in the world of cable.”

Series star Bryan Cranston, who previously played the lovable, goofy father on Malcolm In The Middle, became famous as Walter White, teacher-turned-meth dealer, who fans couldn’t get enough of for 5 straight years.

“I knew the show would be huge,” said Cranston in an interview last May. “It was written too well, the ideas and characters so involved, it was a lot of fun working on the series, and I’m glad I got to be a part of it.”

Cranston said that he was approached almost immediately last month about continuing the series, and didn’t hesitate for a second once he was told a bit about where they wanted to go with his character, and with the series as a whole.

“I loved playing Walter, and I was glad to jump at the chance to do it one more time,” said Cranston. “We have a lot of things happening in this last season – not giving too much away, obviously Walter didn’t die. Jesse is on the run, and our relationship is strained. The DEA and FBI don’t know Walter is alive, so the meth still flows for a while. I already know that Walt ends up in jail at some point, there is a trial, but you can bet that won’t be how the series ends, either. Everyone will be in for a real treat in season 6, I can promise that. I haven’t seen the final ending script, so hell, maybe season 6 won’t even be the last, who knows?”

Breaking Bad, which was the recipient of 10 Emmy awards during its run, begins shooting season 6 in December. The entire original cast is expected to return.

It’s Official: ‘Breaking Bad’ Movie To Hit The Big Screen Next Summer

HOLLYWOOD, California – its official breaking bad movie to hit big screen next summer

One of the highest rated and most popular television shows in history is set to take make a return, but not in the way you may think. It has finally been announced that the hit show Breaking Bad will be jumping to the big screen next summer.

Breaking Bad was the hit AMC TV show about a struggling high school chemistry teacher who turns to a life of crime  selling methamphetamines after a diagnosis of inoperable lung cancer.

Rumors sparked left and right after actor Bryan Cranston had made a few comments about how the show ended. Fans online have talked about it happening, and everyone was hoping that it would come to fruition, but the studio and several people involved in the show initially denied the rumors.

“We were told to keep as quiet as possible about it,” said Cranston, who although known for TV shows like Malcolm in the Middle, shot to fame after Breaking Bad became a ratings smash. “The cat is out of the bag, as it were. We started shooting the movie about 2 weeks ago in Albuquerque.”

With news of the film breaking, movie theaters around the country have already begun to pre-sell tickets, the first time in history that a pre-sale has begun before the film has actually been completed. Normally, a theatre will pre-sell a week or two before an anticipated big movie is released. For Breaking Bad, they know they had to start now, almost a year in advance.

“We are talking about one of the biggest shows in the history of TV.” Said Regal Cinemas chairman Mark Landry. “As soon as it became confirmed that the movie had been green-lit, we gave the okay to our theatre managers to begin selling tickets.”

Filming is underway, but unfortunately it is a closed-set, and no other information – including the plot of the movie, timeline, or which characters will appear.

TMZ reporters questioned actor Aaron Paul, who played Jesse on the hit show, as he was leaving a Hollywood restaurant, and when asked about a Breaking Bad movie he seemed confused.

“The is the first I’ve heard of it,” said Paul. “Apparently I’ve got some phone calls to make.”

Production on the the Breaking Bad movie is scheduled to run through the end of October, with the film slated for a Memorial Day 2015 release.

 

 

 

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