Man Who Had Been Missing For 10 Years Found In Backyard Of Own Home

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Man Who Had Been Missing For 10 Years Found In Backyard Of Own Home

 

SPRINGFIELD, Arizona – 

Christopher Hollins, 29, who was missing for nearly 10 years, returned to his home in Springfield three days ago. The man was found naked in the backyard of his home. According to Hollins, he was being used as an object of medical experiments.

Hollins says that 10 years ago, while walking from his house to a shop, he was stopped by a mysterious person in a long coat. The person spoke with a mesmerizing voice, handed him a small pill, and persuaded to swallow it. Next thing Hollins remembers is waking up in an empty room with lots of lights.

“I spent ten years in this room, almost never getting out,” he says. “I was listening, though. Sometimes they thought I couldn’t hear them, but I did. They were designing robotic humans with artificial intelligence and they used me as a model. The whole of humankind is in danger!” Hollins thinks that he was kidnapped by a governmental organization, although he is not able to indicate the exact place where he was kept, but thinks it was for sure somewhere in Washington.

Hollins’ mother confessed her son used to be a great fan of science-fiction shows, especially Battlestar Galactica. He only watched one season of BSG and then disappeared, but doctors say it’s possible he got inspired by the series and believed people were really trying to create cylons – intelligent robots looking just like humans.

“It was a good show, yeah, and very convincing. For some time he thought I was a cylon,” said Mary Hollins, Christopher’s mother. “He definitely got really into it. I’m not going to lie – we looked for him went he went missing, but he was 19. Police didn’t care much about an ‘adult runaway.’ After a few weeks, we stopped looking. It was easier to pretend we had no son than it was to think we had a son who was a huge nerd.”

Doctors checked Hollins’s medical state, and concluded that he is generally fine, but believe that his entire story is completely fictional.

“From what we can tell, he was never out of the backyard at all, which is weird, because police would have normally checked there first,” said Dr. Honus Wagner. “At any rate, there is a small shed in the backyard of the Hollins’ home, and we think that Christopher probably just got himself locked in there, and survived by eating small rodents and neighborhood animals that wandered in. To be quite honest, it’s not as uncommon of a thing as you might think.”

“I’m just glad to be home,” said Christopher. “Is Battlestar Galactica still on?”

Dying Man Confesses He Was Grassy Knoll Sniper Who Assassinated John F. Kennedy

NEW ORLEANS, Louisiana – Dying Man Confesses He Was Grassy Knoll Sniper Who Assasinated John F. Kennedy

Charles Ray Peterson, 81, made a shocking confession to family members yesterday as they had gathered to be by his side during his last hours at River Oaks Hospital in New Orleans. Peterson, a native of New Orleans, told his son, Harold Peterson, that he wanted him to gather the family before he was gone. What he told them has left the entire family in absolute disbelief.

“First he told us that he was in Dallas the day that JFK was assassinated, and that he was there when it happened. It was really odd because he had never ever mentioned that he was there that day to anyone after talking about it all these years,” Harold Peterson said. “He looked up and said, ‘It was me! I was the second gunman on the grassy knoll!”

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Ever since President John F. Kennedy was shot to death on November 22, 1963, conspiracy theories have circulated about his death and the circumstances of the assassination. Many believed that Lee Harvey Oswald was set up for the killing, and that based on the trajectory in which President Kennedy was hit, the kill shot could not have come from the seventh floor of the Book Depository located in Dealey Plaza.

Curiously, several witnesses died within just a few short years of the assassination from various ‘untimely accidents,’ such as Lee Bower, who was working directly across from the grassy knoll when the shots were fired. Bower had said in a 1966 television interview that he had seen a flash and a puff of smoke behind a wooden fence just behind the grassy knoll. Just months later, Bowers died in a single car accident.

Harold Peterson said his father confessed to being the man behind the picket fence, and it was he who landed the kill shot, not Oswald.

“He wanted to clear the name of Lee Harvey Oswald. He told us that Oswald was innocent and had been set up because he had owed a lot of money to someone with power. Dad did not mention who else was behind it,” Peterson said. “To be honest, at first we thought he was just talking crazy from the meds he was on, or maybe playing one last joke, because that’s how my dad was, but then when he wept, I knew it was true. My dad killed JFK!”

Charles Ray Peterson passed away peacefully just after sharing the news with his family. He had been hospitalized during his final weeks while suffering from adrenal cancer.

Michael Jackson Seen Alive, Hiding In Canada Under Assumed Name

ONTARIO, Canada – Michael Jackson Seen Alive, Hiding In Canada Under Assumed Name

Soon after the June 2009 death of the ‘King of Pop’ Michael Jackson, a number of worldwide conspiracy theories and death hoax scenarios emerged, generated by fans who either refuse to deal in reality, or by individuals who genuinely believe that a cover-up concerning Jackson’s death took place.

Although most stories are taken about as seriously as reports of an Elvis Presley sighting at a Burger King, suspicious events in Ontario, Canada are leading many to believe that Jackson, in order to escape mounting legal problems, staged his death, assumed a second identity, and is now living in Canada under the name Alain Pontifex.

One week after reports of Jackson’s death, a mysterious newcomer moved into a small bungalow near Ontario’s Lake Doré.  According to a neighbor, a fleet of moving vans and a limousine pulled up in front of the property where a ‘pale middle-aged male’ was escorted into to the house, surrounded by what appeared to be 3 bodyguards.

Census records list Alain Pontifex as the owner of the home.  He has never been seen in public.  A small live-in staff attends to his needs.  When locals ask questions about Pontifex, the answer given by household employees is always the same: “Mr. Pontifex is a very private person.”

Jackson ‘truthers’ believe that stories of the entertainer’s ill health and frailty while rehearsing for his 2009 “This Is It” London comeback concert were all part of a disinformation campaign designed to lend credibility to Jackson’s faked death.  “Truth For MJ,” a Jackson death hoax organization with a growing membership, cites many hints leading to the logical conclusion that Alain Pontifex and Michael Jackson are one and the same person.  Group moderator MJTruthCaptainBob@yahoo.com writes:

  • Many packages delivered to the cottage are from theatrical makeup and costume companies
  • Visitors to the cottage are always privately escorted from Ottawa International Airport to the Pontifex home by staff members and shielded with umbrellas
  • The town has received a request for a permit to house exotic animals on the premises.

A former contractor hired to do “outside work” around the cottage said “I never met Mr. Pontifex, but I did hear his voice once or twice.  It did sound like Michael Jackson’s voice,” said the anonymous worker.  “I can’t swear that it was Jackson, but I got the feeling it was some famous person who wanted to hide out, and I think I heard something about them building a recording studio inside the house.”

Town officials offer no comment except to say that they respect the wishes of all members of the community.  A few Jackson truthers have attempted to visit the cottage, but have been stopped by private security.

So now, conspiracy theorists have one more plot to debunk, add to, or pick apart.  In a recent posting, MJtruthcaptainBob said, “The truth is out there and we, the world’s greatest fans of Michael Jackson will work hard to expose it.  We owe it to the greatest entertainer in the world.  He never gave up on us, and we will never give up on him,” he added.

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