MIAMI, Florida –
The NASA/ESA Hubble Space Telescope has found a space anomaly that very well proves the existence of God. Hundreds of scientists confirm God’s word is being transmitted from deep within outer space.
Judy Schmidt is credited with first spotting galaxy cluster, knowns as SDSS J1038+4849, and submitted the image to Hubble’s ‘Hidden Treasures’ image processing competition. Because of its resemblance to a smiling face, the galaxy cluster has gotten worldwide attention.
Green Bank Telescope, a radio observatory of West Virginia, first picked up unusual transmissions when they pointed their satellites at the galaxy cluster. In their statement, they remain guarded. “We’re not sure what we’re looking at yet, but it has been confirmed by other radio observatories to be Heaven, as in literally the place where your sprit ascends to when you pass on.”
Famous astrophysicist Michio Kaku claims to have decoded the transmission. “At first it seemed to be unusually loud space noise, but when we isolated the individual transmission, we found we were listening to Psalms. It was very strange. At first I thought someone had tampered with my computer. After further analysis, I realized I had better get to church right away.”
Pope Francis plans to announce the official location of Heaven in a press conference on Ash Wednesday. “Finally, something scientific we can rub the non-believer’s faces in. My prayers have been answered,” said Francis. “For eons, people have asked for proof, for tangibility, and at least, we can present it.”
Plans are in the work for a probe, containing messages from humanity, although some scientists argue the human race may be extinct by the time it gets there. Progressive Reverend Marc Luther says, “It all makes sense now. God never answers prayers because he’s too far away to hear them. A probe will get his attention. For the sake of future generations, we need to reach out to Him and beg for His help before it’s too late.”