South Carolina Man Creates ‘Task Force’ To Battle Creepy Clown Epidemic

PEVELY, South Carolina – 

A South Carolina man has taken it upon himself to battle the “creepy clowns” that have been sighted across the country. Pinto Colvig, 38, says that he is “sick and tired” of his town being scared to death by people dressed as menacing clowns.

“It is disgusting and disturbing to torment a town, and our children, in this way,” said Colvig. “It was bad enough when it was just them damn Juggalos running around in their stupid face paint. At least you knew they didn’t mean too much harm. Now, we have people who have put on full clown masks, suits, and they carry around balloons and knives. Someone has to stop them.”

Because it is not against any laws to simply dress as a clown in public, Colvig says that he has gathered a group of like-minded individuals who plan to cruise the streets, looking to “put clowns in their place.”

“There are plenty of other people who are not scared of these clowns, but are scared for the people who live in this town, and in all towns. We will show them a lesson, and if we have to, yes, we’re willing to get physical. I have a lawyer on retainer, and he’s well aware that things could get rough, and we may have to make that call.”

Police have cautioned Colvig that he needs to not engage with any of the clowns, and that if his “task force” wants to act as a sort of neighborhood watch, that is fine – but no violence should occur.

“If anyone sees a clown – or anything or anyone – that they are bothered by, they should call the police,” said Police Chief Mick Forner. “Do not engage, as you do not know who this individual is, or what they are capable of. Simply get into your house and lock your doors, or quickly remove yourself from the area.”

16 Members Of Japanese Whaling Crew Eaten Alive

A Japanese whaling crew has fallen victim to a dramatic full on assault by a school of killer whales, killing no less than 16 crew members and injuring 12, has reported the Japanese Government this morning.

The crew of the MV Nisshin Maru (日新丸), Japan’s primary whaling vessel and the world’s only whaler factory ship, was forced to leave the deck temporarily as a gas leak was detected within the ship’s processing factory that resulted in the ship being temporarily disabled all while continuing to carry approximately 1,000 tons of oil.

The resulting panic lead members of the ship to jump off the boat before proper emergency procedures were taken and lifeboats had been set to sea.  The swimming crew members were then ferociously attacked by a school of killer whales, that decimated a large number of the crew within moments. “It was horrific” claims Asuka Kumara, a mechanical engineer who witnessed the gruesome  scene. “The water was red with blood, there were bodies everywhere” he recalls in tears.

The incident occurred in the Southern Ocean Whale Sanctuary, near the South Eastern Coast of South Africa, a controversial area to be whaling as a recent international court ruling has ordered the country to ends its whale hunt in the Antarctic. The East Asian nation halted its annual Antarctic whaling mission after the U.N.’s International Court of Justice (ICJ) ruled last march the hunt violated an international moratorium on commercial whaling.

“It seems Japan just doesn’t give a damn about international law” explains environmental activist and spokesman for Greenpeace Canada, James Ben Shahali, based in Vancouver. “The waste of life is always a shame, but the whales are not to blame here, they were only doing what they are born to do: kill for food” he adds.

Some Greenpeace supporters have even celebrated the incident as a victory for the fight against whale hunting worldwide

Japan has slaughtered over 6,000 whales since commercial whaling was made illegal by the International Whaling Commission (IWC) moratorium passed in 1986.

(via: World News Daily Report)

Study Shows Exactly How Much Human Meat Is In A McDonald’s Burger

McDonald’s history is not a good one, and fast food restaurants are already known to have a lot of “mystery” ingredients, but this rumor tops the list. This disturbing audio admission in the youtube video below will make you cringe, as the interview between James Wickstrom and Rabbi Finkelstein discussed the gruesome practices of the type of “meat” used at McDonald’s.

 Rabbi Finkelstein says that their tradition of blood sacrifice has been going on for thousands and thousands of years. “We take the children of the enemy, which is the white race, we bring them to the basements of the synagogues where we drain them, similar to kosher butchering. Then we send them off to the meat grinders, where they end up in the McDonald’s hamburgers and sausages.”

He explains that these children are sent to meat grinder facilities and sold off to McDonald’s for a profit. Since most of these meat grinding facilities are by the Mexican border line, many of the employees are illegal immigrants and are willing to keep their mouths closed about this information because they are making a good living to send home to their families. Rabbi Finkelstein has no problem telling the interviewer, “You are eating your children every day”.

SHARE with your friends and COMMENT …. Did it really happen??

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(via: Now 8 News)

Boston Cop Shoots, Kills Black Man For Smoking A Joint

policeBOSTON, Massachusetts – 

On the heels of recent scandals involving police brutality among the African American community, Malik Edwards, a 36-year old African American man living in the Boston area was shot by police officers following a dispute regarding a marijuana cigarette.

According to witnesses, Edwards was seen sitting on the porch of his girlfriend’s home located in Evanston, Massachusetts, a municipality about 10-miles outside of Boston when the incident occurred. Edwards was accompanied by 2 additional African American males and his 32-year old girlfriend Nia Brown.

According to witness statements, including that of Brown’s, around 9:20 PM, 2 Evanston Police officers approached the individuals visiting on the porch and asked them what they were doing. According to Brown, Edwards, who had been smoking a marijuana cigarette, often referred to as a joint, spoke for the group and told the police officers that they were just visiting and unwinding after a long day of work.

The police officers asked Edwards what was in his hand (referring to the marijuana cigarette), and Edwards replied, “Oh this is just a little something that helps me to unwind after a long day”. The police officers demanded Edwards put out the marijuana cigarette, to which according to witnesses, Edwards was slow to comply.

 

(read more at The Boston Tribune)

Act of God? Man Dies While Masturbating After Lightning Strikes His Bed

lightning

DALLAS, Texas – 

Saturday night ended in a tragedy for 23 year old Alan Escamilla. According to reports Alan Escamilla was struck by lightning while he was masturbating in his bedroom.

According to Dallas MD, Alan Escamilla was masturbating in his bedroom, before a massive bolt of lightning struck him.When police and ambulance arrived on the scene, they found Alan Escamilla, which “looked like burnt coal,” according to Officer Bryan Granados.

Police found Escamilla in a “masturbating position,” with his hand wrapped tightly around his penis. Alan Escamilla Sr. said his sons body was “rock hard, but he was breathing heavily and very much alive.”

“If there was one thing about Alan, it’s that he masturbated all the time. Once he spent four hours in the restroom just masturbating. I had to force him out of my apartment,” says long time friend, Alex Godoy.

Alan Escamilla is expected to fully recover according to Baylor Hospital, although his penis will no longer be useable.

New ‘Shit On The America Flag Challenge’ Takes Form In Support Of Colin Kaepernick and Free Speech

 

Poop-on-flag-challenge1

 

WASHINGTON, D.C. – 

Young black Americans are apparently taking a stand and wiping their asses with the American flag, all in support of Colin Kaepernick and his sit-in during the National Anthem, and to make notice of their rights to free speech.

“I love America, there’s nothing wrong here at all as far as my life is concerned,” said Shelby McIntire, an ass-wiping, flag hater. “Problem is, fuck the flag, and fuck the national anthem. I don’t care about symbols, I care about action, and there’s none happening for young niggas like me. So, here’s your flag, here’s my shit, and now the two can meet.”

The act of flag desecration is protected free speech, but McIntire has had to go into hiding thanks to internet trolls that revealed her address on popular website Reddit.

“I’m not scared for me, but I don’t want them to hurt my family over this,” said McIntire. “It will all blow over, though. And I can go back to wiping my ass with toilet paper.”

Former CIA Agent Confesses To Killing Marilyn Monroe While On His Deathbed

NORFOLK, Virginia – 

A 78-year old retired officer of the CIA, Normand Hodges, has made a series of astonishing confessions since he was admitted at the Sentara General Hospital on Monday. He claims he committed 37 assassinations for the American government between 1959 and 1972, including the actress and model, Marilyn Monroe.

Mr. Hodges, who worked for the CIA for 41 years as an operative with top-level security clearances, claims he was often employed as a hitman by the organization, to assassinate individuals who could represent a threat to the security of the country.

Trained as both a sniper and a martial arts expert, Mr Hodges says he also has significant experience with more unconventional methods of inflicting harm upon others, like poisons and explosives.

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Mr. Hodges swears he remembers vividly, each of the assassinations he committed for the CIA.  He claims that all 37 of the murders he committed on the American soil, were ordered by his commanding officer, Major James “Jimmy” Hayworth.

The elderly man claims he committed his assassinations between August 1959 and March 1972, at a time when he says “the CIA had its own agenda“. He says he was part of an operative cell of five members which carried out political assassinations across the country. Most of their victims were political activists, journalists and union leaders, but he also claims that he killed a few scientists and artists whose ideas represented a threat to the interests of the United States.

Mr. Hodges says that Marilyn Monroe remains unique among his victims, as she is the only woman he ever assassinated. He claims he has no regrets, however, as he says that she had become a “threat for the security of the country”  and had to be eliminated.

“We had evidence that Marilyn Monroe had not only slept with Kennedy, but also with Fidel Castro,” claims M. Hodges. ” My commanding officer, Jimmy Hayworth, told me that she had to die, and that it had to look like a suicide or an overdose. I had never killed a woman before, but I obeyed orders… I did it for America! She could have transmitted strategic information to the communists, and we couldn’t allow that! She had to die! I just did what I had to do!”

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Marilyn Monroe died between midnight and 1 AM, on August 5, 1962. Mr Hodges claims he entered her room while she was sleeping and injected her with a massive dose of chloral hydrate (a powerful sedative), mixed with Nembutal (a short-acting barbiturate), causing her death.

The 78-year old man was placed under custody by the FBI, which is taking Mr Hodges’ confession very seriously and has opened an investigation to verify his allegations. The investigation might be very complicated, however, as very few written files are available on such secret activities and most of the actors implicated in the various cases are already dead.

The most important witness in the story after Mr. Hodges himself, his alleged commanding officer, Major James Hayworth, died of a heart attack in 2011. Two of the other three “CIA assassins” identified by Mr Hodges are also dead, and the last one, Captain Keith McInnis, went missing in action in 1968 and is presumed dead.

Burger King Manager Fired After He Was Caught Eating McDonald’s Big Mac

bigmac

SCRANTON, Pennsylvania – 

A lawsuit is underway after a Scranton, Pennsylvania Burger King manager was fired earlier this week because he was caught eating a Big Mac cheeseburger on his lunch break. Ron Berger, the now former store manager, was let go after 10 years with the Burger King chain after security footage showed him bringing the McDonald’s flagship burger into the restaurant he was in charge of.

There is no rule controlling what employees can or cannot eat while on their break, but Burger King “strongly suggested” that employees eat something off of their menu.

“I mean, it wasn’t the first time that I’ve brought in food from McDonald’s, but I guess it will be the last,” Said Berger. “I really enjoy Big Macs. They’re so delicious. I really just can’t resist the two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions – on a sesame seed bun…and it’s just a food item that Burger King doesn’t offer. It isn’t like I’m trying to take down Burger King one Big Mac at a time, they’re just damn delicious. I plan to sue for what they’ve done, and I feel that I’ll be finally able to order something other than an item off the dollar menu when I get my settlement check.”

Burger King Corporation has released a statement about the issue, and it comes as no surprise that they aren’t taking the side of the fired employee. McDonald’s has reportedly offered a job managing one of their locations to Berger, who has not decided if he wants to continue working in fast food.

‘White Entertainment Television’ To Be Added To DirecTV Lineup In December

WET

LAKEVIEW, Delaware –

The founder of the White Christians of America, Richard S. Jennings, announced earlier this week that the group, which promotes “a purely wholesome, caucasian, and Christian existence” will launch a television network via DirecTV in December. The network, White Entertainment Television, or ‘WET’ is to air “clean, Christian, heterosexual, white entertainment.”

“It is our undying mission to compete with the less-than-appropriate trash shown on television today which is obviously confusing our pure, innocent caucasian children,” said Jennings. “We look forward to this endeavor, and together with DirecTV, we have no doubt that our mission will be successful.”

President and CEO of DirecTv, Michael Brown, said that the addition of the network, which will provide programming featuring only those of the white race and Christian religion, is one that shows what DirecTV, now owned by AT&T, is all about.

“We are all about equal opportunity, we offer programming from BET (Black Entertainment Television), so we do not feel that this is any different. Obviously, those who do not want to watch it don’t have to. We simply believe it is only fair to offer everyone of different races and beliefs something that interest them,” said Brown.

While many believe it is only fair, and ironically, an equal opportunity, there are also those who feel this is a step backwards in the ever evolving progression of racial relations in the United States, especially in the heat of a very race-driven political landscape.

 

DirecTV subscribers can look for the channel to be added to all package lineups on December 20th.

Yoko Ono Says She Had An Affair With Hillary Clinton

LOS ANGELES, California –

Yoko Ono shocked reporters yesterday when she responded to a question concerning the presidential run of Hillary Clinton and the possibility that she could become the first woman President of the United States in American history.

The artist and widow of John Lennon, who is in Los Angeles to present a collection of cups and saucers she is exhibiting at the Museum of Modern Art, totally took reporters by surprise by admitting she had not only met the former First Lady at various times during a series of protests against the Vietnam War in New York in the 1970s but also knew her “intimately”.

The celebrity admitted laughingly to having “a fling” with her at the time and acknowledged her election “would be a great advancement for LGBT and Women rights in America” she added.

Yoko Ono shocked reporters when she admitted to "having a fling" with the former Secretary of State after they met during a protest against the Vietnam War in New York in the early 1970s

Hillary Clinton has been hit by a series of allegations of being a lesbian in her career which could ruin her bid for the presidency, believe some experts

Yoko Ono when asked about her thoughts about Hillary’s run for the presidency completely took reporters by surprise.

“We met many times during the New York Vietnam War protests in the 1970s, and became very intimate. We shared many of the same values about sexual equality, fighting against the authoritarian, patriarchal, male-dominated society we were raised in” she explained.

“We had a brief romantic fling when I lived with John in Manhattan and Hillary was studying at Yale, but eventually we lost touch. I am amazed how things are going well for her and wish her the best for her campaign” she told reporters during the press conference.

Experts believe the statement could affect the presidential candidates bid for the presidency but previous allegations of Hillary Clinton’s lesbian past have not seemed to play against the front runner for the 2016 Democratic presidential race yet.

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