Jay-Z May Have Cheated on Beyoncé With Oprah Winfrey, Says Sister Solange Knowles

Posted on August 28, 2014 by Raoul Stockton

NEW YORK, New York –

Last May the entertainment industry was rocked by Solange Knowles’ now infamous elevator attack on hip-hop icon Shawn Carter, known by fans by his stage name Jay Z. Knowles, the sister of tremendously popular and highly respected R&B singer and Carter’s spouse, Beyoncé Knowles-Carter, was caught via security camera footage attacking Jay-Z in an elevator at a Met Gala after-party.

Surveillance video footage showed Solange, also an R&B singer, yelling at Carter and wildly attacking him physically as she punched and kicked at him. The video made its way to public eye thanks to celebrity gossip website TMZ, and it immediately went viral. In the months since the incident, no reason has ever been clearly given on why Jay Z’s sister-in-law went to the extreme to attack him in front of Beyoncé and a security guard. This past weekend at the MTV Video Music Awards, Jay-Z and daughter Blue Ivy were seated in separate sections as Beyoncé performed at the event. Despite the family of three gathering on stage after an emotional performance by Beyoncé, the fact that Solange was seated so far away from the family raised speculation even more.

Yesterday Solange decided to come clean and tell the world why the incident occurred, and why she wants nothing to do with Jay-Z.

“He is a lying, no good, unfaithful playa, and I busted him. I know now that he had been sleeping with another woman; I had suspected it for a long time and then I finally began to notice that he and Oprah Winfrey had been spending a lot of time together. I didn’t think anything of it at first, she didn’t seem like his type and vice-versa. I had a friend-of-a-friend look into his comings and goings around the country, and found out the two were meeting secretly at various hotels in Chicago and Manhattan. They always got separate rooms, but that doesn’t mean a thing. It’s very fishy. I was shocked to find out that Shawn was cheating on my sister, such a beautiful, amazing woman. And with Oprah? Don’t get me wrong, she is an amazing woman, but her beauty faded long ago, don’t you think”

Solange says that she wishes that Beyoncé had never married Jay-Z, and she expected the worst right from the beginning.

“I have always had the highest amount of respect for Oprah, but never much for Shawn [Jay-Z]. I have slightly changed my mind about Oprah since discovering what my investigative work has unearthed. It made me feel sick inside and I just wanted to beat [Jay-Z] down after I found out. So when we were finally all together that night in the elevator, I confronted him, he called me a selfish, non-talented bitch. I just went crazy. It really hurt, it hurt badly.”

The allegations are sure to create quite a wild stir in the wild world of American entertainment and its publications. Attempts to contact the management of Oprah Winfrey, who is 60-years-old and one of the richest women in the world, went unacknowledged. However, a call to the office of Jay Z’s Roc-A-Fella Entertainment was replied to in a voice message from Carter himself, where he simply said, “I got 99 problems but Oprah ain’t one.” No further comment was given. Beyoncé has not spoken about her sisters allegations, except to say that Jay-Z definitely liked it, and the ring he put on it isn’t going anywhere.

J.K. Rowling Admits She Wrote Harry Potter to Convert Kids to Wicca

Posted on August 28, 2014 by carriesnotscary

LONDON, England –

In a statement on her official website, Harry Potter series author J.K. Rowling finally admitted that she wrote the series on behalf of the Wiccan religion. In years past, many Christian groups were considered obnoxious for advocating that the books be banned from schools due to their potential for polluting children’s brains with belief in witchcraft, but apparently they were not as crazy as originally thought.

“It’s been so many years, and the built-up guilt has been like a rainy cloud following me everywhere I go. When I write, when I sleep, when I practice magic, when I go to the bank to deposit my billion dollar Harry Potter checks . . . my secret was like my Horcrux, and now I’ve destroyed it so my soul can be whole again for the witches,” Rowling wrote. “It’s about time that I tell the world I am a strong supporter of Wicca. I truly believe in its benefits as a religion. I wrote Harry Potter to please the Mother Goddess. They needed new followers, and they needed young followers. I wrote the series to manipulate young minds into believing witchcraft was real, and it worked.”

According to Rowling, the Wiccan community knew about this the whole time. In fear of losing followers if they released the series’ true intentions early, they forced Rowling to wait until it already fulfilled their hopes and dreams—a younger, broader Wiccan community. “She saved us. Everyone who reads Harry Potter or watches the movies supports us. Rowling donates a large portion of her money to our experiments and facilities,” an anonymous and active Wiccan witch said.

Rowling closed her statement saying, “I am deeply sorry if I have offended you with my propaganda. I hope that my readers, Wiccan or not, can still enjoy my work. And above all, I hope that this revealing information does not influence your opinions on myself, Harry, Ron, Hermione, and especially Hedwig.”

Bankruptcy Filings Soar As Street Dealers Cope With Marijuana Legalization Laws

Posted on August 28, 2014 by DvanL

NEW YORK CITY, New York –

Twenty-one states and the District of Columbia have legislation regarding marijuana legalization in active committee. What may be a boon for increased state tax revenue and for sellers of home gardening supplies, is apparently tipping the scales in the other direction for local independent street dealers, many of whom are feeling the pinch.

“All of our new bankruptcy clients now are walking in off the street, wanting to file,” says Lance Powell, financial advisor and bankruptcy attorney. “When we ask what they did for a living, more and more say ‘I was a dealer’ or ‘I sold weed on the corner.’ It’s crazy. It’s good for my business, but it means it’s bad for somebody else’s,” he added.

“Used to be I could just stick my big toe out the window, and customers came ‘round,” said struggling dealer known locally as ‘Freeman the Treeman.’ Now, I can’t get arrested! It’s a damn shame,” he said.

Local bottle and can collector Lee Fan, known for her shopping carts towering with impossibly balanced plastic bags filled with returnable water bottles, soda and beer cans, is also suffering. “Everybody picks up bottles now, not good for me, not good for my income. Dealers can’t sell street marijuana so much, so now they pick up bottles. Free money. Streets are much cleaner, but now I take a big loss,” she said, guiding her now half-empty carriages in a sad trail down the street.

Effects are also felt below city sidewalks and penetrate far down into local subway systems. Rider Mabel Watson, standing beside her Lower Manhattan Seventh Avenue subway entrance, had this to say: “With all these laws getting more and more relaxed, street people have to change jobs. Me, I got glaucoma in my eye, but now I got a voucher to go to the drugstore to get mine instead of all this street mess.”

“So,” continued Watson, “I see my local man, ‘PuffPuff’ down in the train the other day sellin’ candy like the kids do to raise money. Probably the first real job he ever had, but anyway he comes up to me and says, ‘where you been Mabel?’ and I tell him I don’t need him no more. He gets all in my face, tells me ‘Buy some of my candy then! It’s only a dollar, bitch! I mean, ma’am,’ — like that’s gonna make it all right! I bought 2 peanut M&Ms and some DOTS just to get that fool out my face!”

“It’s incredible how many things are affected,” said Powell, as he processed another bankruptcy claim for a new client, nicknamed Mr. Kush. See that guy leaving right now? He used to own this neighborhood. Cars, fancy clothes, everything. Now he comes in here almost broke. Never thought I’d see the day when all this would change so fast. I’m swamped,” said Powell, eyes bloodshot and glassy. “It’s from all this extra work and no sleep, honest,” he added, as he returned to a growing stack of new claim forms.

Disney to Make Han Solo Completely Computer Generated in Star Wars: Episode VII

Posted on August 27, 2014 by carriesnotscary

LOS ANGELES, California –

Due to scheduling delays on production of Disney’s Star Wars: Episode VII, Harrison Ford’s iconic snarky character, Han Solo, will be completely computer generated in the film. Ford injured his leg during production back in June, and the actor has yet to fully recover. Disney execs revealed the bittersweet news at a press conference yesterday.

“We tried the best we could to accommodate Ford’s injury when it came to filming,” director J.J. Abrams said. “But the truth is, [Ford] is really old, and it takes a long time for old people to heal. I think that he is nearing in on 100 years old already, and our fans absolutely cannot wait for one extra day, hour, or minute after December 18, 2015 when film is scheduled to be released.”

Solo’s CGI form will be the first of its kind—groundbreaking human-mimicking technique that transcends motion capture. “It’s looking way better than Jar Jar,” Abrams commented. “We are very excited to introduce CGI Han to Star Wars fans. They’re gonna love it even more than they loved General Grievous.”

“We were half tempted to use CGI on all the original characters,” said an anonymous Disney executive. “We have the money. We can easily replicate all of them, and make them look years younger. Harrison Ford, Mark Hamill, Carrie Fisher – these people are ancient. No one wants to see Luke battle Darth Vader using a walker, do they? Once people see the textures, the realism on [Ford’s] Han Solo character, they’ll be blown away. I mean hell, it’s not like 98% of these movies aren’t computer generated already, anyway.”

When asked to comment, Ford said, “I broke my leg.”

Accord to Disney, Ford will still provide the voice of Han Solo, unless he breaks something in and/or around his mouth. He is set to return again in the next installment of the much anticipated Star Wars franchise, assuming he hasn’t yet died of old age by the time filming begins.

When reached for comment, Mark Hamill, who is making his return as Luke Skywalker in the film, said that he, too, hoped he would still be alive for the next installment.

“I’m nowhere near as old as [Ford], but in Hollywood each day can be your last, lest they cast you off into obscurity,” said Hamill. “I remember my last relevant day in this city. I think it was sometime in 1987. Ah, no matter, I’m coming back strong thanks to Disney!”

While tickets are not on sale yet, Disney would like you to mark your calendar for this exciting new technology, in theaters December 18, 2015. If you do not have a calendar, Disney would like you to get one, especially if you can manage to find one with Simba or Buzz and Woody on it, so you can mark the release date on that one, even if you don’t particularly care about Star Wars

Canada Decides They Don’t Want Hockey to be Their ‘Thing’ Anymore

Posted on August 27, 2014 by carriesnotscary

OTTAWA, Canada –

Earlier this week, members of Canadian parliament held a press conference in Ottawa to announce that they’re sick and tired of hockey being their “thing.” Since no one really knows who they’re political leaders are, or that they even have a government, they invited their most famous celebrities, all of whom live in America, star in American films, and produce American music, to make the important announcement.

“Isn’t it ironic that Canadians are so nice but hockey is a violent sport?,” famous Canadian Alanis Morissette sang to kick off the conference. “Seriously, though,” Morissette said in a speaking voice.

“We’re cold and we’re tired and we’re really nice. Is there a sport about being really nice?,” famous Canadian Seth Rogen asked.

The suggestions Canada listed as possibilities to be their new “thing” include Helping Friends Move, Feeding Ducks, Sitting Patiently for Hours, Collecting Spoons, Taking Long Walks, Making Tiny Ships in Jars, Providing Shooting Locations for the Earlier Seasons of The X-Files, or Exporting Maple Candies.

Some Canadian celebrities even threw in suggestions of their own. “Can we steal bobsledding from the Jamaicans? It just makes more sense,” famous Canadian Ryan Gosling said. Gosling is also a strong supporter of the tiny ships in the bottles. “I’ve seen them. They’re very real and very majestic.”

Canada is the country above the United States, to the right of Alaska. Ottawa is the capital of Canada. They’ve always been really good at hockey. Some famous Canadians who also attended the conference include Avril Lavigne (advocate for Collecting Spoons), Cobie Smulders, Ryan Reynolds (advocate for Helping Friends Move), Robin Thicke, James Cameron, Rachel McAdams, Michael Cera, and Hayden Christensen (strong advocate for the unlisted thing of ‘Lots of Of Regret and Shame’). Leonardo DiCaprio attended the conference as a non-Canadian supporter of the cause to ditch hockey.

“Hockey is pretty cool and all, but Americans have made it their thing now, too,” said DiCaprio. “Let’s get Canada their own thing once again.”

Suge Knight Shot At Party, Witnesses Say Assailant Resembled Tupac Shakur

Posted on August 27, 2014 by Raoul Stockton

HOLLYWOOD, California –

Early Sunday morning rap mogul and former Death Row Records CEO Suge Knight was shot several times at a party hosted by Chris Brown. Hundreds of witnesses have been interviewed by the Los Angeles Police Department and one odd thing kept arising in multiple interviews; several witnesses say a man who looked just like legendary deceased rapper Tupac Shakur had been spotted leading up to the incident, and several of those witnesses claim that this man is the one who shot Knight.

According to LAPD spokesperson Clifford Winston, witnesses assume that the assailant was either Tupac himself, or possibly even the ghost of Tupac, who had come back to avenge his own death.

“Several witnesses were very adamant that it was Tupac Shakur who shot Suge Knight. One witness, who seemed to be in shock, said it was definitely Shakur, and that he had to be alive. Others said there was no way he was alive, and that his spirit was the one who committed the crime. Either way you lean, these witnesses are all sure that it was Tupac himself.”

Several people believe that the assassination attempt on Knight was retaliation for the shooting death of Shakur eighteen years ago. Shakur was riding with Knight in Knight’s car on September 7, 1996 when he was shot multiple times in a Las Vegas, Nevada drive-by shooting. Shakur died six days later on September 13th. Several theories suggest that Knight set Shakur up for the shooting.

Former bodyguard of Tupac Shakur, Isaac “Big Slick” Johnson, told Empire News that Knight wanted Shakur dead, “Pac was scared and he even told me just the night before it happened that he was involved in some hardcore shit and something was gonna go down. He told me that he might have to disappear for a while if he lives, and told me if he lives, it was gonna take a long time to deal with the matter. I didn’t know what he meant and he told me not to repeat what he told me, he made me promise,” Johnson said. “Personally I think he is alive and I think he had something to do with the shooting of Suge Knight. He didn’t want to be with Suge that night, you can see it in his eyes in the last picture taken of him. Look at that picture, Pac looks nervous and Suge looks like he is up to no good.” Johnson added.

Winston also told the press that several of the witnesses thought that the the man looked just like Shakur, albeit with a full beard.

“While many witnesses say the man looked like Shakur, we believe it is a coincidence. That being said, there are an astounding number of people on the scene who actually believe that it was really was Shakur. As you can imagine, this throws quite a mysterious wrench into the pending investigation. We are surely re-launching the shooting investigation of Tupac Shakur from way back in 1996 to make sure we have all the information necessary in this shooting. We have our hands full and we ask that anyone with information, to please come forward. They could definitely do the community some good,” Winston said.

Ben Affleck Quits Role As Batman, Studio Hires Chris Pratt As Replacement

Posted on August 26, 2014 by carriesnotscary

LOS ANGELES, California –

After several months and an incomplete movie role, Ben Affleck officially announced his immediate resignation from the role of Bruce Wayne/Batman. Affleck’s resignation came in a comment he left on a thread insulting him on popular website Reddit.com. Within minutes of Warner Bros. confirming the resignation with Affleck’s publicist, they hired Chris Pratt (Guardians of the Galaxy, “Parks and Recreation”) to fill the role.

The original announcement on Reddit came from Affleck’s official Reddit account, Ben_Affleck. It was a response to a comment from user ‘Y_isBenBatman’, that asked, as even their username pointed out, why Warner Bros. would ever hire Ben Affleck to play Batman. The comment was up-voted over ten thousand of times.

The response via the Ben_Affleck account was simply “I am Ben Affleck, and I quit Batman.”

Affleck has nearly wrapped shooting Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice, and was under contract to star as the caped crusader in several other films.

“We don’t care that Ben breached his contract. He’s a great guy. He’s so lovable, but we’re so relieved that we don’t have to deal with the ‘Batfleck’ backlash anymore. Plus, thanks to that movie he’s got going right now that we desperately wish we had made, Chris Pratt is a mega-star. Not to mention his role on that show about the. . . uh, it’s on NBC? Eh, whatever. He’s on TV, so he’s got a flexible schedule,” said a Warner Bros. executive.

When asked to comment, Affleck referred all comments to his wife, Jennifer Garner. “I encouraged him to resign,” Garner said. “There’ve been too many sleepless nights while Ben’s on Reddit crying. I just couldn’t take it anymore. It was worse than when he read the Daredevil reviews. He still cries about Gigli in the shower, but he can’t keep Batman in the shower, you know? It wasn’t even this bad when Jersey Girl was coming out.”

Pratt, along with Warner Bros., is absolutely thrilled that he has been asked to take on the physically demanding role. “Dude, this is so awesome. I mean, I really feel for Ben. It sucks that he resigned in disgrace and stuff. He’s such a good guy, he has Oscars. But, I am Batman now. I never thought my career would go in this direction when I was playing that hippie on The O.C. Man, first I get to guard the galaxy, now I’ll get to guard Gotham. Awesome.”

According to studio reports, Warner Bros. still has Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice slated for a release date of March 25, 2016. “All we’ve really filmed so far are shots of Ben in the suit with a lot of devastation in the background, which can be easily replaced. Chris Pratt is a pro, he’ll get this done for us in no time,” director Zack Snyder said.

Fran Drescher-Narrated Audiobook Banned by National Association of the Deaf

Posted on August 26, 2014 by DvanL

HOLLYWOOD, California –

It is not “the best of times” for comedic actress and TV star Fran Drescher, most famous for her role as ‘Fran Fine,’ on CBS’ The Nanny, which ran on CBS from 1993–1999.

The distinctively nasally voiced Drescher decided to self-produce and narrate an audiobook version of Charles Dickens’ A Tale of Two Cities, after being turned down by major producers and effectively blacklisted by SAG-AFTRA, The Screen Actors Guild‐American Federation of Television and Radio Artists.

“I wanted to branch out,” said 56-year-old Drescher from her Hollywood Hills home. “I’ve done comedy, I’ve done Broadway, I’ve done movies, and so one day I was joking around and I said to my producing partner ‘Wouldn’t it be funny if I narrated a book?’ HAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaa. Then I started thinking about it and really decided to do it. Crazy right? HAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaa,” she said.

Christopher Wagner, President of the National Association of the Deaf, led the movement for a nationwide ban on the audiobook. “Approximately .4 percent of the United States population is functionally deaf. That’s roughly 1 million people. For God’s sake, isn’t that enough?” Wagner asked.

A petition, largely driven by social media, gathered over 6,000,000 electronic signatures in support of the ban within the first hour of its online launch. “Our mailbox got flooded,” said Wagner, “and our server crashed. I was afraid we’d never get our website up and running again.”

“It made me really sad because it was my favorite book growing up. WAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaa,” said Drescher, after hearing about the ban. “People wouldn’t necessarily think of me as a bookworm, but I really am. HAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaa,” added Drescher. “I love to read out loud. I can do other voices besides ‘Fran Fine.’ She was a character, not a real person. I have people who’ve lived around me for years who haven’t gone deaf. I can prove it.”

Early on in the project, Drescher contacted Audiobooks International Executive Vice President, Joseph Widden. “I thought I was being punked,” he said. “It sounded like Fran Drescher on the phone, but I have a lot of friends who do voices. That’s what I do. I get to know people who do voices. Then they do audiobooks. I thought it was a joke. I hung up the phone. She called again. I hung up again. This went on for an hour. She finally stopped. The tape came out. She did it herself. Chris Wagner called. He got me on board. That’s what I do. I get on board. I got on board. I made some calls. That’s what I do. I called some people. They owed me favors. That’s what I do. I call things in. I called things in. We got the ban. So here we are.”

“He wouldn’t take my call,” said Drescher. “So I did it myself. Now I got a garage full of CDs. What am I going to do, drive around the country putting up a card table? What can I say? You gotta have a sense of humor about this business. HAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaa.”

Drescher says that she may donate the audiobooks to schools in developing countries, where it’s possible they aren’t familiar with her voice.

Magician In Custody After Making Audience Member Disappear; Man Never Reappears

Posted on August 25, 2014 by JP

LAS VEGAS, Nevada –

A Las Vegas stage magician, whose stage name is “The Great Peter,” is in police custody this afternoon after making a crowd member in attendance for his show disappear, but failed to bring him back.

Reality started to hit that something was wrong when the wife of the missing audience member began to become frantic an hour after the show ended. Sydney Ray, 34, say that she wouldn’t have let her husband volunteer if she had known this would happen.

“At first I was having a blast at the show, and even when The Great Peter made my husband disappear I was applauding and cheering louder than anyone in the crowd. When an hour passed into the show and there was no sign of my husband, I began to freak out a bit,” said Ray

The event took place at The Magic Palace Theater in Las Vegas, and even local police are finding this case bizarre.

“You see so many things being a police officer in Vegas, but even this is a shock to the department,” said Officer Julian Brown. “We’ve searched the theater, talked to audience members. Of course we questioned the magician first, but he’s not talking. ‘Magician’s Code’ or some such nonsense.”

Police say audience members have been very cooperative, but most of them think that it’s all still part of the act, even though it’s been a full 12 hours since the show ended.

“I saw his wife. I’d still be gone for a while if I were him, too,” said Joe Goldsmith, a real estate investor on vacation in Vegas. “He’s probably taking in the sights at the Bunny Ranch or something.”

The Great Peter is behind bars, charged with intentionally blocking a police investigation and resisting arrest, after police tried multiple times to handcuff Peter and he’d continually slip out of them.

“He could make this whole ordeal a lot easier on everyone, but he won’t reveal his tricks. Officers believe that he does know more about what took place, and that somehow his disappearing trick has something to do with the gentlemen’s whereabouts.”

“A magician never reveals his secrets,” said The Great Peter in an interview with police. “It’s all part of the show.”

17 Killed, 33 Injured During Roller Coaster Collapse At Kentucky Amusement Park

Posted on August 25, 2014 by Raoul Stockton

LOUISVILLE, Kentucky –

Seventeen people, including six children, were tragically killed, and thirty-three others were injured when a wooden roller coaster at the new amusement park, Bluegrass Boardwalk, completely collapsed Sunday afternoon. The roller coaster, named Noah’s Ark, had just entered its first loop when the wooden structure began to collapse. “It was horrific, it just crumbled like a stack of tooth picks, those poor people, I will have nightmares about this the rest of my life, it could have been us,” said 33-year old Jessica Waterbury of Louisville, who was waiting in line for the next ride on the coaster.

Bluegrass Boardwalk spokesperson Jarrod Ransdell issued a brief public statement immediately following the tragedy, “We are working with police in the investigation as to why this horrific incident occurred. To the families of those killed and injured we offer our deepest condolences. Out of respect, we decided to close the park for the remainder of the day. But for anyone who was planning to visit us, the park will be re-opened, operating at its usual hours tomorrow morning!” Ransdell said with a smile.

The accident occurred at approximately 12:15 PM, and the park was immediately evacuated as emergency personnel converged on the scene. Those evacuated, as well as those involved in the incident, will receive a full refund and a $10 gift certificate to be used towards concession stand items on a future visit, according to Bluegrass Boardwalk management. Spokesperson Ransdell also stated that those injured in the accident will be given free passes for the remainder of the current season.

“As this was indeed a terrible tragedy, we wish and ask those involved to not give up on Bluegrass Boardwalk, and encourage them to come back to the park as soon as they are able. We’d love for you to come and make up for their day of fun-filled activities which was tragically cut short,” said Ransdell.

Of the thirty-three injured in the accident, seventeen remain in critical condition at nearby hospitals in the Louisville area. Louisville resident Jermaine Parker, who managed to escape the tragedy along with his two sons with only minor cuts and scratches, said that he is extremely grateful for the park’s actions regarding the accident.

“I tell you what, they could have just left us with an apology, but they’re not. They’re stepping up and they’re giving us a gift certificate and passes, and that’s really big of them,” said Parker. “It admits fault, and that’s as good as an actual apology or civil court victory for me. I can’t wait to come back and ride the Noah’s Ark again once they rebuild it.”

Not everyone who was at the park is happy about the events that occurred, with several bystanders visibly upset by the accident.

“They’re giving season passes to those on the ride? Wow. What about me? I was waiting, and it could have been me on there. I think I deserve a season pass just as much as the people who were on the ride. After all, I had to see the carts come flying off, and it was extremely traumatic,” said Aaron Silver, a park visitor. “This place is so cheap, it’s sickening.”

The amusement park, located in south Louisville, opened in May of this year and branded itself as a more cost-efficient alternative to the more popular Kentucky Kingdom, which is also in Louisville. Billboards around the city advertised itself using the motto, “Cheap Thrills With Wooden Hills,” referring to it prime attraction, the wooden roller coaster involved in the accident.

It is possible that the park will avoid lawsuits due to the fact that on the back of each ticket, and posted at every entrance, restroom, park bench, and water fountain is a disclaimer stating “All persons who enter the park do so at their own risk. Bluegrass Boardwalk is not responsible for injuries, health issues, or death which may occur on company grounds”

The names of those killed and injured in the accident are being withheld from the public at this time pending notification of kin.