Magician In Custody After Making Audience Member Disappear; Man Never Reappears

Posted on August 25, 2014 by JP

LAS VEGAS, Nevada –

A Las Vegas stage magician, whose stage name is “The Great Peter,” is in police custody this afternoon after making a crowd member in attendance for his show disappear, but failed to bring him back.

Reality started to hit that something was wrong when the wife of the missing audience member began to become frantic an hour after the show ended. Sydney Ray, 34, say that she wouldn’t have let her husband volunteer if she had known this would happen.

“At first I was having a blast at the show, and even when The Great Peter made my husband disappear I was applauding and cheering louder than anyone in the crowd. When an hour passed into the show and there was no sign of my husband, I began to freak out a bit,” said Ray

The event took place at The Magic Palace Theater in Las Vegas, and even local police are finding this case bizarre.

“You see so many things being a police officer in Vegas, but even this is a shock to the department,” said Officer Julian Brown. “We’ve searched the theater, talked to audience members. Of course we questioned the magician first, but he’s not talking. ‘Magician’s Code’ or some such nonsense.”

Police say audience members have been very cooperative, but most of them think that it’s all still part of the act, even though it’s been a full 12 hours since the show ended.

“I saw his wife. I’d still be gone for a while if I were him, too,” said Joe Goldsmith, a real estate investor on vacation in Vegas. “He’s probably taking in the sights at the Bunny Ranch or something.”

The Great Peter is behind bars, charged with intentionally blocking a police investigation and resisting arrest, after police tried multiple times to handcuff Peter and he’d continually slip out of them.

“He could make this whole ordeal a lot easier on everyone, but he won’t reveal his tricks. Officers believe that he does know more about what took place, and that somehow his disappearing trick has something to do with the gentlemen’s whereabouts.”

“A magician never reveals his secrets,” said The Great Peter in an interview with police. “It’s all part of the show.”

17 Killed, 33 Injured During Roller Coaster Collapse At Kentucky Amusement Park

Posted on August 25, 2014 by Raoul Stockton

LOUISVILLE, Kentucky –

Seventeen people, including six children, were tragically killed, and thirty-three others were injured when a wooden roller coaster at the new amusement park, Bluegrass Boardwalk, completely collapsed Sunday afternoon. The roller coaster, named Noah’s Ark, had just entered its first loop when the wooden structure began to collapse. “It was horrific, it just crumbled like a stack of tooth picks, those poor people, I will have nightmares about this the rest of my life, it could have been us,” said 33-year old Jessica Waterbury of Louisville, who was waiting in line for the next ride on the coaster.

Bluegrass Boardwalk spokesperson Jarrod Ransdell issued a brief public statement immediately following the tragedy, “We are working with police in the investigation as to why this horrific incident occurred. To the families of those killed and injured we offer our deepest condolences. Out of respect, we decided to close the park for the remainder of the day. But for anyone who was planning to visit us, the park will be re-opened, operating at its usual hours tomorrow morning!” Ransdell said with a smile.

The accident occurred at approximately 12:15 PM, and the park was immediately evacuated as emergency personnel converged on the scene. Those evacuated, as well as those involved in the incident, will receive a full refund and a $10 gift certificate to be used towards concession stand items on a future visit, according to Bluegrass Boardwalk management. Spokesperson Ransdell also stated that those injured in the accident will be given free passes for the remainder of the current season.

“As this was indeed a terrible tragedy, we wish and ask those involved to not give up on Bluegrass Boardwalk, and encourage them to come back to the park as soon as they are able. We’d love for you to come and make up for their day of fun-filled activities which was tragically cut short,” said Ransdell.

Of the thirty-three injured in the accident, seventeen remain in critical condition at nearby hospitals in the Louisville area. Louisville resident Jermaine Parker, who managed to escape the tragedy along with his two sons with only minor cuts and scratches, said that he is extremely grateful for the park’s actions regarding the accident.

“I tell you what, they could have just left us with an apology, but they’re not. They’re stepping up and they’re giving us a gift certificate and passes, and that’s really big of them,” said Parker. “It admits fault, and that’s as good as an actual apology or civil court victory for me. I can’t wait to come back and ride the Noah’s Ark again once they rebuild it.”

Not everyone who was at the park is happy about the events that occurred, with several bystanders visibly upset by the accident.

“They’re giving season passes to those on the ride? Wow. What about me? I was waiting, and it could have been me on there. I think I deserve a season pass just as much as the people who were on the ride. After all, I had to see the carts come flying off, and it was extremely traumatic,” said Aaron Silver, a park visitor. “This place is so cheap, it’s sickening.”

The amusement park, located in south Louisville, opened in May of this year and branded itself as a more cost-efficient alternative to the more popular Kentucky Kingdom, which is also in Louisville. Billboards around the city advertised itself using the motto, “Cheap Thrills With Wooden Hills,” referring to it prime attraction, the wooden roller coaster involved in the accident.

It is possible that the park will avoid lawsuits due to the fact that on the back of each ticket, and posted at every entrance, restroom, park bench, and water fountain is a disclaimer stating “All persons who enter the park do so at their own risk. Bluegrass Boardwalk is not responsible for injuries, health issues, or death which may occur on company grounds”

The names of those killed and injured in the accident are being withheld from the public at this time pending notification of kin.

Tony Bennett, Lady Gaga Announce Music Collaboration, Wedding Plans

Posted on August 25, 2014 by DvanL

NEW YORK, New York –

Legendary crooner Tony Bennett and pop sensation Lady Gaga shocked fans and industry types alike when they announced their engagement during a press conference promoting their upcoming album of jazz duets.

“She makes me feel so young!” gushed Bennett, 87. Gaga, 28, appeared smitten during the press conference and said “Tony has been the biggest surprise in my life so far. And by biggest – well, I think you know what I mean.”

Both artists expressed genuine surprise that their mutual admiration grew into something more profound. The two began collaborating on the new project earlier this year, and are currently taping an upcoming television concert special which will coincide with a fall wedding.

“One afternoon we were sitting in the studio listening to a playback,” remarked Gaga, “and out of the blue, Tony turned to me and asked if I’d like to go for an early bird special at one of his favorite restaurants, or “joints,” as he put it. From then on, things just blossomed.”

“That’s how it was, yes siree, that’s just how it was,” remarked Bennett, smiling and tapping his foot for emphasis. “She’s quite a gal, yes siree, that’s what she is all right, quite a gal. It’s like Bogie and Bacall all over again, and I was friends with both of those two. Yes siree, that’s how it was.”

“That’s what it’s really all about, I mean the things we have in common. I love Bogart and Bacall movies, too,” said Gaga. “That’s just one example of things we share together. There are so many other things too, and it just seems like this amazing thing was written in the stars for both of us.”

“Hey!” interjected Bennett, “We should sing that song on our new album, due out in the fall – Written In The Stars, an old Harold Arlen tune that I enjoy and I hope you’ll enjoy too!” Bennett tapped his foot for emphasis.

I think the old standards are the best,” added Gaga, “but don’t worry — I’m not getting too far away from my current roots that my Little Monsters have come to know me for!”

“I thought you told me you didn’t have any kids!” joked Bennett, sending the room of assembled journalists into hearty laughter.

“That’s another thing,” said Gaga. “His sense of humor is so, so unpredictable!”

When pressed for details about dates and details for the upcoming wedding, Bennett remarked “Hold your horses, kids, this crazy scene is all new to us. Yes siree, that’s what it is all right, crazy scene. All new.”

The couple waved good-bye and walked hand-in-hand to attend an awaiting reception in their honor, hosted by television and recording executives.

Bogus Psychic ‘Knew All Along’ He Would Be Outed, Jailed

Posted on August 24, 2014 by DvanL

WAUSEON, Ohio –

Trent Mattias, self-proclaimed psychic, investment advisor, and spiritual healer, was sentenced to a 7 to 15 year prison term yesterday, after being found guilty of fraud, misrepresentation and multiple counts of tax evasion.

“I knew all along this was going to happen someday,” said Mattias. “It was only a matter of time before what I always knew was going to happen, really happened.”

Mattias’ admission came after an almost 20-year career marked by false identities, several failed business ventures, and a string of highly questionable investment schemes. “Things were going good for while,” said Mattias. “I had a great life and all the things that went with it. I don’t know, but I guess now I know what I should have known. It just couldn’t last as long as I thought I knew it could.”

During an interview from his Fulton County holding cell, Mattias revealed that several of his friends eventually became aware of his illegal activities. “I told them I already knew what they were gonna say and that they were right, but I was so far into it, I couldn’t get out. I knew that. Times like these, you find out the difference between your real friends, and the friends you thought you knew were your real friends.”

One of Mattias’ former clients, who requested anonymity, contacted authorities after the mock psychic swindled him out $16,000. “That was my nest-egg and my whole life savings. It was a terrible thing that happened to me. He’s a real smooth talker,” the victim continued, “and I figured he was on the level. All of a sudden he started coming up with excuses about where all my money was, and all the big cash he always said was just around the corner never showed up for me.”

During the sentencing hearing, Mattias appeared remorseful as he addressed several of his victims who were in attendance. “I just want to say to everybody who came to me for advice, I let you down. Take my advice and always trust your instincts. If something doesn’t feel right, don’t do it. If I knew then what I know now, things would be a lot different and we probably wouldn’t be here today. Looking back, I know that now and I apologize.”

As he was led from the courtroom, Mattias remarked, “Like that song goes, “Que sera, sera — whatever will be, will be.”

Mattias’ will be eligible for parole at a future date not yet set by officials.

Arizona To Confine Immigrants In ‘Americanization Camps’

Posted on August 24, 2014 by mike the inkman

PHOENIX, Arizona –

The State of Arizona is in the news this week with what experts are saying is the most racist piece of legislation since World War II. Already known for their harsh anti-immigration stance and for the kooky escapades of Sheriff Joe Arpaio, the state is taking things a step further with a new law requiring that all immigrants must spend time in ‘Americanization Camps’ where they will learn English, and be quarantined temporarily to ensure that they aren’t introducing any diseases into America. ‘Sheriff Joe’, who had little to do with the law, does happen to be a big supporter.

“Hell yes I support this law! This is America, contrary to what the popular belief is these days, and if you want to live here, you had damn well better act like an American. There is no reason whatsoever that citizens of this country should have to tiptoe around and learn the language of an immigrating culture. I’ve heard grumblings from the Indian population about European immigrants, and to be honest, they’re one hundred percent correct. If we handle this influx of Mexicans in the same passive way that the Indians handled the Europeans, we’ll suffer the same fate that they did. We’ll be overrun and bred out. That is why this idea of ‘assimilation before citizenship’ appeals to me.”

Basically, the law states that all immigrants who will reside in Arizona will be ‘confined and educated’ for an undetermined amount of time. Supporters of the law claim that the confinement will not be unpleasant, and that the faster they learn the language and customs, the faster they will be released into society. Opponents of the law are uneasy with the ‘undetermined amount of time’ that the immigrants will be detained.

“It’s a slippery slope,” Said State Senator Maria Lopez. “How long before this gets abused? Imprisoning people for no other reason than their ethnicity is not just wrong, it’s illegal.”

The Law is set to go into effect on January 1st, 2015, provided that it isn’t declared unconstitutional by congress. The American Civil Liberties Union has major concerns with setting such a dangerous precedent.

“We plan to do everything in our power to ensure that this racist, garbage legislation is overturned,” Said Gerald Brewster, President of the Arizona chapter of the ACLU. “This is worse than the Japanese internment camps in the forties. At least there was a war then, a legitimate fear. It doesn’t excuse it, but at least there was some reason for the hysteria. This law is based solely on racial prejudice. It is completely disgusting.”

Sheriff Joe just laughs about the liberal concerns.

“They always worry so much about the rights of people who haven’t earned any rights. They cried when I put prisoners in tents in the desert. Well, those guys get out of there and they don’t want to come back. Plus it saves big money for the taxpayers that actually follow the laws. This law will do lots of good if it is allowed to do its job.”

UFC To Create 17 New Weight Divisions To Combat Dangerous Weight Cutting

Posted on August 23, 2014 by Jon Smith

LAS VEGAS, Nevada –

Recent neurological studies have shown a direct correlation between the sort of drastic weight cutting found in combat sports such as boxing, wrestling, and mixed martial arts, with severe brain trauma and death. In the past, wrestling has borne the brunt of the weight cutting issue as stories of spitting into cups, wearing plastic and refusing to eat circulate amongst the population.

However, with the increased popularity of mixed martial arts, particular its preeminent organization the Ultimate Fighting Championship, the focus has shifted to the large weight gaps between weight divisions.

Currently, professional boxing recognizes 17 weight classes ranging from under 105 pounds to over 205 pounds, with weight classes divided by three to twenty-five pound increments.

Previously, mixed martial arts recognized eight weight classes, ranging from 125 pounds up to 265 pounds. With the exception of the 60 pound gap between light heavyweight and heavyweight, all weight classes were divided by ten to twenty pound increments.

Detractors of weight cutting suggest that due to the massive gaps in weight classes and the fighters’ fear of being unable to compete in previous weight classes, these large gaps are cause of severe and dangerous weight cuts.

“Fighters want to win,” said Sheila Sherman, a researcher in the field of sports nutrition. “If you are a 205 pound fighter and you can’t quite make it to a title match, being relegated as a solid ‘stepping stone’ or ‘gate keeper,’ you think about dropping down to 185. And with the growing number of wrestlers in MMA, these weight cuts sometimes look easy, but the toll on the body is severe.”

To stave off the potential risks of these huge weight drops, and perhaps to one up their combat sports competitor, the UFC recently announced they would be adding 17 weight classes to their roster.

These additional weight classes will have no more than five pounds between them, with the Slim-Fast and Body Dysmorphic Divisions will be separated by just .5 pounds.

“I don’t know what else we can do,” Sherman told reporters, “I mean, if we keep weight classes like they are, more fighters are going to have to accept that they aren’t as good as their friends tell them they are and will have to get real jobs to be productive members of society instead of little boys getting paid to shave their chests and fight on the metaphorical playground.”

One of the more experimental divisions suggested is the “Anthony ‘Rumble’ Johnson division” which should be 205 pounds, but sometimes will be 217 and other times will inexplicably be 185.

At the time of publication, rumors of additional weight divisions, for fighters who are completely unprofessional or who don’t know a thing about weight cutting, have been suggested as a sort of ‘sliding scale,’ with no real fixed weight, just kind of a ballpark guess. So far, they haven’t made that specific weight class official.

John Lennon’s Killer Released From Prison After Shocking Reversal By Parole Board

Posted on August 23, 2014 by Raoul Stockton

ALDEN, New York –

On Wednesday, the New York Parole Board denied the parole of Mark David Chapman for the eighth time for the 1980 murder of music icon and former Beatles member John Lennon. Early this morning, in an unprecedented move, the board decided to reverse their decision, and in a shocking turn of events and subsequently granted Chapman parole effective immediately. The decision came after an impromptu meeting was called by unnamed government official who chastised the parole board for showing “poor judgement” and “holding a celebrity in a higher standard than that of the average American citizen,” New York corrections officials said.

New York Corrections spokesperson Glenn Abernathy told the Associated Press in a brief statement the reasons for the reversal.

“After further consideration, we decided to grant Mr. Chapman parole. It was made clear to us by outside forces that the murder of a celebrity should not mean a longer sentence than what is typically given. In 2013, a total of 116 inmates who were found guilty of murder were released from prison after serving less than a 10-year sentence. Mr. Chapman has served nearly 33 years, more than 3-times that amount. Also, he was cleared as mentally competent many years ago, meaning that there was no reason to deny his parole in the first place.” said Abernathy. “[Chapman] said after his initial arrest that he had plans to murder Johnny Carson, Elizabeth Taylor, Walter Cronkite, Marlon Brando, and Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis, and that John Lennon was just the easiest to find. Well, everyone else he planned to kill is dead now anyway, so it was decided that he was no longer a threat to anyone else.”

“The parole board are made up of old fogies,” said Jerome David, a self-professed ‘super-fan’ of Chapman. “They denied him parole at every opportunity because they were fans of Lennon, of the Beatles, growing up. So they look at him, and they see someone who helped destroy their youth. That isn’t fair to [Chapman]. He deserves to be freed just like every other murderer they set free. The Beatles are a forgotten memory, anyway. Who really cares about them or John Lennon anymore? It’s not the 60s. Personally, I’ll be waiting at the gates to wave as they drive [Chapman] out!”

According to Abernathy, there was a decision made by the federal court system, calling the meeting with the purpose of reviewing the decision handed down on Wednesday by the parole board. It was then declared that the parole board did not have legitimate reasoning in denying the parole. The main issue discussed in the 3-hour meeting cited the fact that celebrities should not be given special treatment when the United States judicial system is involved, whether they are criminally involved or the victim.

“The United States average sentence for convicted murderers is between 13 and 16 years,” Abernathy told the New York Associated Press. “Chapman was sentenced to twenty-years to life in 1981, with a stipulation that mental health treatment be provided. “Mr. Chapman initially did not want to be released, due to his comfort within the system. However, at approximately 6:30 am this morning, he was given $200 cash and his copy of the book Catcher In The Rye, which he had when he was caught at the scene of the murder, and was given instructions to move into a half-way housing unit, which at this time will not be named.”

In an interview earlier this week, Chapman told ABC News that if released he would try to stay, anyway. “I’m so bonded that I could probably assure you that, if released, I’d probably stay right where I’m at,” Chapman said. “You know, once you stand on a rock for 20 years and feel the waves on you and you don’t go anywhere because you’re on a rock, you don’t want to move.”

Corrections officials at Wende Corrections Facility in Alden, New York, where Chapman was incarcerated, said that Chapman broke down in tears after being told of the parole board reversal. “He asked if he could please stay, he said he would work for free within the prison. When told he could not, under any circumstances voluntarily stay, he broke down and said his life was over,” said corrections officer Alex Jameson.

Chapman is set to be transported to the half-way house on Monday morning.

Classic TV’s ‘Batman’ Costume Destroyed By Moths

Posted on August 23, 2014 by DvanL

FRESNO, California –

According to Neilsen Media Research, some of today’s highest rated programs are broadcast on the top 3 “throwback” networks: Antenna TV, Cozi TV, and MeTV, acronym for Memorable Entertainment Television.

Memorabilia from favorite shows, including props and costumes used or worn by familiar characters can bring thousands of fans to TV nostalgia conventions.

One of the most instantly recognizable outfits is the famous “bat suit,” worn by Adam West, TV’s ‘Batman.’ Based on the famous comic strip, the television series ran from 1966–1968. The “caped crusader” donned the purple top and tights, black cowl, cape and boots during the show’s 120-episode run.

Batman’s clever “bat” devices made him indestructible against Gotham City’s villains and villainesses, but sadly, his famous get-up was not so well protected. The well-known bat suit has fallen victim to perhaps the most evil villain of them all – Mother Nature.

Moth and vermin infestation has tragically destroyed Batman’s famous suit. The heartbreaking discovery was made public just weeks before the 30^th annual Convention of Television Yesteryears, to be held in Frensno, California.

“That was the biggest draw we had by far,” said convention coordinator Mark Delaney. “We were keeping it a big surprise until the last minute. We were going to do a big reveal with special guest stars Adam West and Burt Ward doing the unveiling. We were so excited, we rented the motel suites and everything, but now I just want to crawl in a hole and drop dead,” added Delaney.

A representative from the cold-storage facility protecting the Batman costume, among others, provided the following statement:

Unfortunately, due to a massive power failure affecting the surrounding business district, a compromise in quality was encountered which resulted in damage and loss to some of the inventory housed and protected within our facility. Insurance investigators are conducting an assessment so that clients will be fully compensated for damages and loss.

“They say they can fully compensate us,” said Delaney, “but what’s the value on something that millions of people love and remember? It’s like a part of my childhood and the childhoods of millions of fans all over the world has been burned to ashes and then flushed down the toilet, or in this case destroyed by moths, and then burned to ashes and then flushed down the toilet! How much value can be placed on that?” he asked.

Insurance investigator Yvonne Meredith commented on the progress of the investigation.

“Well, from what I’ve been able to see, it’s pretty bad. When the power went out, the magnetic locks on the climate-controlled vaults failed. All kinds of things were able to get inside there. The Batman costume was chewed through with holes. They must have been super-moths to do that sort of damage, or maybe some other kind of insect or rodent. I saw a hat once worn by Lorne Greene from Bonanza with mice making a nest out of it, and some feral cats had scratched up Robert Conrad’s pants from Wild, Wild West. That’s a real tragedy,” she added, shaking her head.

As for the convention, “The show must go on,” said Delaney, trying to sound cheerful as he tacked bunting onto a display booth. “This one thing shouldn’t ruin the entire event. A lot of people look forward to this convention every year. It’s like a family. I can’t let them down just because I want to crawl in a hole and drop dead. I’m going to keep my chin up for the fans.”

New 150 oz. Mega-Sized Drinks To Be Released In 7-11 Convenience Stores

Posted on August 22, 2014 by C. Anthony Rivera

CONCORD, New Hampshire –

One of America’s largest convenience store chains, 7-11, has announced this morning a new item being added to their selection. Joining the company’s flagship Big Gulp cups will be their new size, named the X-Gulp by 7-11 marketing director Bill Hellman.

The 32 ounce Big Gulp remains the most popular size at 7-11 for soda and fountain drinks, with the price staying steadily below a dollar, even during harsh economic times. Seducing more customers every day, The Super Big Gulp, reaching 44 ounces, is also available or those who need an extra kick to their drink. The Double Gulp, which doubles the Big Gulp’s 32 ounce size to a whopping 64 ounces, wholly satisfies the predominant American population.

Recently announced by 7-11, the X-Gulp will be released this fall, marking an even 150 ounces, more than 5 times the size of the Big Gulp, and containing almost 2 gallons of liquid. The cup size is that of a small bucket, and even has a handle for ease in carrying. Already concerned with getting the most ‘bang for their buck,’ some cost-weary customers are concerned that the price will be too high.

“I can assure everyone, the price for the X-Gulp will be in line with our other sizes,” said Hellman. “The standard Big Gulp is .99 cents at most 7-11 stores. The X-Gulp will actually cost only around $3, less than you’d pay at your local movie theatre for a third of what we’re offering.”

Many consumers are already questioning the absurdity of the product size, rightfully concerned about the cup will fitting in standard drink holders that are found in cars. Despite the concern, though, many 7-11 regulars and purported ‘Big Gulp Aficionados’ are looking forward to the next new size.

“If it comes down to it, I’ll just put the damn cup between my legs once I’m on the road,” said Joe Goldsmith, self-proclaimed Big Gulp Super-fan. “All of the condensation on the outside of the cup might leave an embarrassing mark on my pants, but who cares? When you can get that much soda for such a small price, looking like you’ve pissed yourself should be the least of your worries.”

“I personally think the size is ridiculous,” said Margret Pilsner, president of the Obesity Epidemic Foundation. “Americans are already too fat, and this is just adding to the cause. No one needs 150 ounces of soda in a sitting. My God, you don’t even need that much water in a sitting. I can feel the diabetes killing me just imagining it.”

7-11 representatives say the new size will be made available by the end of September at stores nationwide.

Two Westboro Baptist Church Members Arrested, Accused Of Child Molestation

Posted on August 22, 2014 by Raoul Stockton

TOPEKA, Kansas –

Two members of the infamous Westboro Baptist Church have been arrested on child molestation charges, according to Topeka Police Department spokesperson Michelle Somerville.

51-year-old Parker Eugene Williamson and his 38-year-old wife, Janelle Williamson, both reportedly members of the Westboro Baptist Church, were arrested and booked early this morning. Due to the nature of the arrest, details of the molestation charges have been sealed under court order by Shawnee County judge Herman Jacoby. However, Somerville was able to share with the media that the couple were also facing charges of drug possession, animal cruelty, and resisting arrest.

“A warrant was issued to search the Williamson residence. Inside police discovered a bedroom in the house had been chained and padlocked from the outside. I can tell you that there was a child, the couples only son, and three neglected, malnourished dogs, no other details about what was uncovered in that room cannot be disclosed at this time,” Somerville said. “Of course, they also had a room filled with ridiculous, nonsensical signs they use when picketing. I think that’s a prerequisite for these people.”

The arrests took place just days after the church announced plans to picket the funeral of famed actor and comedian Robin Williams. Westboro Baptist Church members are known for their picketing of United States soldiers who have died in battle, celebrities, and mostly for their extreme anti-gay standing. Thankfully, they were not aware that Williams had requested cremation, and his ashes were scattered quietly without incident from the Church.

Shirley Phelps-Roper, the daughter of deceased WBC founder Fred Phelps, was reached by telephone shortly after the arrests were made, and she blatantly refused comment on the matter, claiming she didn’t know the Williamsons, and that anyone who asked would surely ‘burn in hell like all the other fag enablers.’

Due to the anti-gay stance of the church, and their supposed technique of only using words and no violence, an organization named Planting Peace, who opposes the church and is located right across the street from their home, is planning to continue to raise money in the name of overpowering WBC’s hate by getting people to donate money to charitable causes.

Stanley Unser of Planting Peace had this to said that their organization said they would take donations for suicide prevention, in honor of Williams. “The WBC might not have been able to picket a funeral for a well-loved celebrity, but they planned it. They think these are good things. Death is good. They’re sickos.”

Westboro Baptist Church has become more of a laughing-stock to the public in over time, with internet hatred giving way to peaceful, almost comedic, public protest. Those people who oppose the church, which obviously includes almost every living person on the planet, have increasingly set out to make a mockery of Westboro, mocking their well-known signs and picketing right along with them. People have taken to making their own versions of the hateful signs, using such slogans as “God Hates Signs,” and “God, My Sharpies Are Drying Out” and posing along with church members, taking selfies to post on the internet.

“Based on the number of funny signs, memes, and images found on the internet, it seems that the WBC is losing ground,” says University of Kansas behavioral sciences professor Dr. Carmen Fiorucci. “It truly seems to be that society has always been sickened by the group, which in my opinion is a hate group, even though the White House would not label them as such, but nobody is taking them seriously anymore. They make signs with hateful messages on them, that is their only form of spreading their gospel, which is really just bull—-, and it’s not spreading anymore. They have become a joke to society. The kids making signs to mock them and pose in front of them for photos, and good for them! It shows these loons have been defeated. If these members are proven to have committed the crimes which have been alleged, the burning of the church has begun, you can count on that.”

Somerville stated that the investigating of alleged crimes is being handled with the ‘utmost diligence,’ and details will be released at the proper time.