Woman Gives Birth During Black Friday Sale; Leaves Baby, Buys Big Screen TV

Posted on November 28, 2014 by DvanL

MILWAUKEE, Wisconsin –

A Milwaukee woman is making headlines across the country this morning as it is being reported that phone-center supervisor Tiffany Briggs, 19, gave birth at her local Wal-Mart during the Black Friday midnight sale, and the left her baby in a bathroom sink.

Briggs was on break from her overnight shift at the nearby call center, and stopped by the Wal-Mart supercenter to get a new 50″ TV that was rolled-back to the low, low price of $218. Briggs said that she was racing through the store to beat the other customers to the deal, when she felt a sudden pain in her lower back. The next events were straight out of an episode of the TLC Series I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant.

“I didn’t know I was pregnant,” said Briggs. “I went up to the cash lanes with my TV and got this massive pain down in my vajayjay area, and asked my friend Tyler, who works at the store, to watch my TV so I could use the bathroom, ’cause it was an emergency. I knew if I just left the TV, some asshole would come and snatch the cart right away, ’cause there weren’t that many available. Anyway, I ran through the crowd and when I got to the stall, the next thing I knew a little tiny baby girl popped right out and I was all ‘Wait, what?!’ I didn’t feel any pain after the first part, but damn it was a mess down there.”

After cleaning up, Briggs texted her best friend Mallory and told her what happened. “I didn’t know what to do and I was so scared so she [Mallory] Googled what to do when you have a baby without no doctor. She told me what the internet said, and I tied the cord with one of my hair extensions and washed her up in the sink with some antibacterial soap and paper towels.”

Mallory first suggested that Briggs call child protective services and report a ‘lost-and-found’ baby. “I definitely can’t afford a baby and I knew my mom would probably kick me out of the house if she found out, but then Mallory said she would call an ambulance and told me get out of there real quick and pretend nothing happened.”

Tiffany went back to the front lanes, paid for her TV and left, just as an ambulance arrived. 15 minutes later, police showed up at her workplace and placed Tiffany under arrest, charging her with child abandonment and neglect.

“It’s not my fault,” said Tiffany during an interview from Milwaukee County Jail. “I didn’t know I was pregnant and how could they prove if the baby was mine anyway? You have to get some DNA to prove it, and I didn’t even have any.”

Briggs faces up to 5 years in jail. The newborn has been taken in by CPS.

Jeopardy! Producers Claim Ken Jennings Cheated During His Epic Show Run

Posted on November 16, 2014 by Abe Abrams

BURBANK, California –

Ken Jennings, the longest-running Jeopardy! champion in the history of the game show, who won 74 straight Jeopardy games in a row, has been accused of cheating by producers of the popular series. After pouring over hours of taped footage, producers have made a spectacular discovery, and they say they are asking for the astounding $3,196,300 Jennings won during his run back.

“After receiving an anonymous tip from someone who only identified themselves as Hal, we decided to do an investigation,” said Brad Butters, executive producer of Jeopardy! “After going over hours of game footage, along with backstage footage of Ken in our green room, certain patterns became clear to us. Mr. Jennings, who spent over 125 hours in our sound studio never once used the bathroom, and in our green room – where contestants spend most of their time – Jennings never once ate or drank anything from our free buffet. This seemed extremely odd to us.”

“Game footage revealed that, despite being under bright studio lights, Ken never once blinked or had a drop of sweat anywhere on his brow,” said Jeopardy! host Alex Trebek. “As the producers researched his footage, they also noticed that in game 53 of Ken’s winning streak, competing contestant Brenda Bush was having a sort of ‘wardrobe malfunction’ that caused many nip-slips, and he never even once glanced over to her. I say that it definitely proves that Ken Jennings is not a man at all, and that he must be an android being.”

“By the rules of the game, Ken cheated. Line 43 of the Jeopardy application clearly states that all contestants must be human, and that any sort of cyborg or android beings are strictly prohibited,” said Butters. “We have made numerous calls to Ken to get back our $3 million dollars, but all we get when we call him is that annoying fax machine-type sound you used to get prior to everyone having a cell phone.”

“Being accused of cheating does not compute,” said Jennings in a statement to the Associated Press when news of the possible scandal reached his home. “I was not programmed to cheat, therefore I cannot. It’s not a possibility. Thus ends my comments on the accusations, as it is time for me to recharge.”

‘Ghost Hunters’ Capture Real Ghost On Film While Shooting Episode

Posted on November 10, 2014 by Abe Abrams

HOLLYWOOD, California –

Sy-Fi channel’s Ghost Hunters claim they have finally captured a real ghost on film, and the channel plans to air a special episode on Thanksgiving Day. Executives at Sy-Fi hope this will be the most watched hour in television history.

“It’s amazing, and truly terrifying. We were filming at a Civil War battleground site, and we actually saw and caught a ghost on film. It wasn’t just a noise, and it wasn’t just us playing things up for the camera like normal,” said Jason Hawes, paranormal specialist and star of Ghost Hunters. ”I’ll be honest with you – the show has always been fake, of course. We never find anything real. It’s TV for crying out loud. The way it usually goes is Grant or Steve say in a scared voice, ‘did you see that?!’ or ‘did you hear that?!’ and then we all act scared, but it’s just for show. Not this time, though.”

“I was scared as hell. I’m not going to lie – I pissed myself when I saw it. All this time ‘hunting’ for ghosts, we’d never seen a thing. 10 years of filming episodes; neither us nor our viewers seeing anything but night vision images of ‘spooky’ locations,” said Grant Wilson, co-founder of TAPS. “That’s half the reason I left the show in the first place. I am so glad I came back for this hunt. This changes it all. When this airs, people all over the world will stare in awe. It’s not any trickery, it’s not CGI. This was an honest-to-goodness, no bullshit ghost.”

“Now that I’ve seen a real ghost, I’m done, I’m never doing this again, it was fun when it was fake, but now forget about it,” said Hawes. “I’m going back to Kansas to work in my Dad’s Hardware store.”

”Ghost Hunters have filmed a real ghost, trust me, I saw it a couple of days ago and I haven’t slept since,” said Sy-Fi Channel executive Mark McGoldrick. “I can promise you, this will change the world as we know it. We now have proof of an afterlife, and of a spirit world. Do you have any idea what that will do for our ratings?!”

Daytime TV Mogul Oprah Winfrey, 60, Confirms Pregnancy

Posted on November 6, 2014 by Bonnie Anderson

LOS ANGELES, California –

Amid speculation that Oprah Winfrey is sporting a conspicuous baby bump, the queen of media announced this morning that she will be giving birth to a baby girl. Winfrey turned 60 years old this year.

Sources close to Winfrey say she is thrilled, and can’t wait for the surgery to have the bundle of joy excised in a minimally invasive surgery to take place in February. “I wish I could move the appointment to tomorrow, but I’m afraid she’ll show up without taste buds and eyelashes, or missing several fingers or something,” The Big O gushed in a recent interview.

Stedman Graham, Oprah’s boyfriend since 1986, is reportedly not the father, as the pair were way too old to get pregnant naturally. Curiously, instead of the couple claiming the baby together as parents, Oprah has decided instead to name life-long best friend Gayle King as the baby’s father for ‘public purposes.’ On being a new father, King reportedly stated, “I never wanted children myself, but if it makes Oprah happy, it’s all worth it! And being baby-daddy to a billionaire’s kid doesn’t hurt either!”

As excited as she is to become a parent and have someone to pass her extreme wealth onto after she passes, it’s well-documented that at Oprah’s advanced age, risks of possible complications for both the mother and unborn child are significant.

According to Dr. Jan Foster, M.D., an obstetrician who did not treat Oprah; “I personally would advise her that she is exceptionally vulnerable to complications that can lead to preeclampsia, a potentially fatal condition. Plus the child could develop a learning disability, blindness, or worse.”

But the once daytime TV giant’s determination is unshakable.

“I look better than I did in the 80s, and I’m pretty sure my uterus does too. I may be 60, but I feel like a million dollars. Hell, I feel like 3 billion dollars – and I would know exactly what that feels like, too! Now – you get a car, and you get a car, and you get a car!” Said Oprah, casually handing away Lexus sedans to anyone standing near her. “This is just the happiest I’ve ever been in my life!”

When asked if a name had been chosen, Winfrey replied, beaming, “I’ll either name her after my Grandmother Hattie Mae, or Harpo after my production company. Hattie Mae is a little old-fashioned, so I think Harpo might be the way to go!”

We reached out to Oprah’s long-time friend and mentor, writer Maya Angelou for comment, but a rep for the author stated that she was ‘dead,’ and as such was unavailable.

AMC Announces ‘Breaking Bad’ To Return For 6th Season; You Won’t Believe This Plot Twist

Posted on October 14, 2014 by A. Michael Smith

LOS ANGELES, California –

If you were are fan of the hit AMC TV show Breaking Bad, then I hope you’re sitting down for this news. Vince Gilligan, the creator of the much-loved series, has announced that on top of working on creating spin-off series Better Call Saul, he and his writers have begun working on a sixth season for Breaking Bad.

“It’s true, we did decide to come back for another round with Walt,” said series creator Gilligan. “Better Call Saul is going to be able to stand on its own, but there is more to Walt’s story. He hasn’t died just yet.”

Gilligan says that the story he wanted to tell got wrapped up ‘too quickly,’ and that he, his producers, and AMC executives mutually decided that they needed to provide the fans with at least one more season.

“I was contacted by executives from AMC, the network which had been our home for five great seasons,” said Gilligan. “They told me, in no few words, that they couldn’t survive as a company on just the strength of The Walking Dead; as good as people think that show is for some reason, as many records as it might break, it doesn’t have the viewership or the type of rabid fans that Bad has. So yes, this is about continuing the story for our fans, but it’s also about AMC really, really not wanting to let go of a franchise that has made their channel a contender in the world of cable.”

Series star Bryan Cranston, who previously played the lovable, goofy father on Malcolm In The Middle, became famous as Walter White, teacher-turned-meth dealer, who fans couldn’t get enough of for 5 straight years.

“I knew the show would be huge,” said Cranston in an interview last May. “It was written too well, the ideas and characters so involved, it was a lot of fun working on the series, and I’m glad I got to be a part of it.”

Cranston said that he was approached almost immediately last month about continuing the series, and didn’t hesitate for a second once he was told a bit about where they wanted to go with his character, and with the series as a whole.

“I loved playing Walter, and I was glad to jump at the chance to do it one more time,” said Cranston. “We have a lot of things happening in this last season – not giving too much away, obviously Walter didn’t die. Jesse is on the run, and our relationship is strained. The DEA and FBI don’t know Walter is alive, so the meth still flows for a while. I already know that Walt ends up in jail at some point, there is a trial, but you can bet that won’t be how the series ends, either. Everyone will be in for a real treat in season 6, I can promise that. I haven’t seen the final ending script, so hell, maybe season 6 won’t even be the last, who knows?”

Breaking Bad, which was the recipient of 10 Emmy awards during its run, begins shooting season 6 in December. The entire original cast is expected to return.

Hemorrhoid Cream Manufacturer Courts A-Rod For New Commercial Spot

Posted on October 2, 2014 by Bob The Empire News Potato

NEW YORK CITY, New York –

Pfizer, the company behind the drug Preparation H, the #1 asshole-soothing medication in the world, has announced plans today to pursue New York Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez for a line of new commercials they plan to air in time for the new year.

A representative for Pfizer released a statement via their website, as well as through media outlets such ESPN and The Associated Press, announcing their intentions to seek Rodriguez for their TV and internet spots, which would showcase the benefits of Preparation H, and its helpfulness in soothing that fire so often associated with a burning, polyp-laden rectum.

“Normally we wouldn’t go after someone in this fashion, and we are aware it’s unorthodox,” said Pfizer representative Martha Canon through their statement. “Normally we’d contact someone directly, or contact their representatives or legal team, but we’ve got such big ideas brewing we needed a big splash to get Rodriguez’s attention. We think this is the way. We have a pretty good feeling that he is a user of our product, and now we want him to pitch it for us.”

Preparation H has been on the market in one form or another since the 1930s, and it is not known for its extensive commercials or advertising. This new line of commercials would be the first in a series planned to feature big-name athletes. It would also mark the first time that a major athlete stars in ads on national TV, print, and internet talking about their burning nether-regions. Usually, it is just speculated how much of a pain in the ass a player might be, but now they’d be going on record to fully admit that they are, or at least have, those pains.

“We knew that A-Rod was the perfect player to kick off our campaign,” continued Canon in the prepared statement. “He’s always come across as a real fiery sphincter – especially if you’re a Boston fan. There’s no way that he doesn’t have that burning, itching sensation himself. Now we want him to tell the world how our products can sooth that burn, and bring some comfort back.”

So far, representatives for Rodriguez have not commented on whether or not he is interested in the deal. The reported take would be somewhere in the nature of $3 million, plus a two-year supply of Preparation H, as well as several bottles of a product that is still in testing, which is designed to not only sooth the burns that may be causing suffering, but also to remove the stick, or in this case baseball bat, that is firmly implanted up there, causing all the trouble.

Pfizer is extremely excited for the deal to take place, and they have no reason to believe that Rodriguez would turn it down. “It’s a win-win for both sides. We get the publicity, and he gets tons of money and a more relaxed anus. What more could anyone really ask for?”

Pfizer has not announced who else they plan on seeking for future commercial spots, but it is speculated that they also will be looking to court NBA star Kobe Bryant, NFL player Chad Ochocinco, and because of recent press, LA Clippers owner David Sterling.

A-Rod, who was suspended for a total of 162 games after his part in a steroid scandal, has been kept off the field for the entire 2014 season, but Yankees officials have made it clear he will return to play in 2015.

Actress Betty White, 99, Dyes Peacefully In Her Los Angeles Home

Posted on September 3, 2014 by Bob The Empire News Potato

LOS ANGELES, California –

In a press release from her long-time manager Jeff Witjas, it has been confirmed today that actress Betty White, best known for her roles on TVs The Mary Tyler Moore Show, The Golden Girls, and Hot in Cleveland, is not a natural blonde.

“Betty is a solitary kind of person,” said Witjas. “She likes to relax in her home with her animals, and she rarely likes to discuss the fact, at least in public, that she is actually a brunette. She has been dyeing her own hair in her home for decades. Betty has often told me she feels it is relaxing and soothing to dye her own hair, peacefully in her home, where she can laugh and enjoy time with her animals. She’s said on more than one occasion that as a blonde, she has had ‘more fun’ in her roles, and in life.”

“Oh, I started dyeing it ages ago when my color started to fade away to a more whiteish, greyish color,” says White. “I thought to myself, ‘Well Betty, if you can’t have the dark color anymore, might as well try on the blonde for a while,’ and it just kind of stuck. When I played Rose on Girls, the joke about my natural hair color made it into several episodes. I’ve always had a sense of humor about it.”

Early pictures of White with her husband of almost 20 years, Allen Ludden, who died in 1981 of stomach cancer, show White as a sultry brunette with a perfect smile.

whiteludden — Betty White with her late husband Allen Ludden, 1968

“Oh Allen loved my dark hair, but later on, as I started to go grey and my hair lightened, he liked the blonde, too. It would be too much work to go back to that dark hair I used to have. Too much to maintain. Besides, I think a new look like that at my age might frighten my animals. They wouldn’t even recognize me!”

White’s acting roles have slowed down in recent years, but she can most recently been seen (or heard) in 2019’s Toy Story 4, and appeared in several episodes of the series Fireside Chat With Esther.

NEXT >> Unborn Baby Becomes Pregnant While Still Inside The Womb >>

Reba McEntire To Headline ‘I Love Lucy’ Sitcom Reboot

Posted on August 29, 2014 by DvanL

NASHVILLE, Tennessee –

Country music singer, composer, and actress Reba McEntire has begun production on a remake of the landmark television comedy I Love Lucy. McEntire will portray “Lucy McEntire Ricardo,” country singing star and wife of “househusband” Benecio “Benny” Ricardo, played by Benecio Del Toro.

“This time, it’s gonna have a switch-up!” said McEntire. “The wife’s gonna be the star, and the husband’s gonna try and git in on the act!”

The 30-minute comedy, entitled Reba Loves Lucy, is slated for the “Lucy Slot,” named for the original time slot I Love Lucy occupied – Monday nights at 9 on CBS. Co-starring with McEntire and Del Toro will be Benedict Cumberbatch and Susan Sarandon as the couple’s landlords, Fred and Ethel Mertz. Peter Dinklage will portray the McEntire-Ricardo’s son, ‘Little Benny.’

“I just love that ol’ gal Lucy, with her zany git-ups and all them crazy schemes she’d plum wind up in,” said McEntire, from her home in Nashville. “I think it’s about time we re-did it fer today’s country music fans and fer the youngins!”

Industry insiders are baffled as to why a show so closely identified with comedy legend Lucille Ball would be remade, especially since the original sitcom, broadcast from 1951–1957, has never been off the air. Lucy reruns still maintain an American viewership estimated at 40 million.

“I done a Broadway musical, and I done my own show,” said McEntire, “but I wanted to do somethin’ that I’d git a challenge out of. My friends all say I’m a kooky, zany red-headed gal too, just like that ol’ Lucille Ball, so I called up my manager and said ‘Let’s get this buggy on the road, Slim!'”

Slim Williams, McEntire’s manager, held a series of meetings with television executives who green-lit the project. Williams unsuccessfully requested a meeting with Lucie Arnaz and Desi Arnaz, Jr., Lucy and Desi’s children, before production began.

“Well, that didn’t go so good,” said Williams. “Lucie used some language not fit for a lady, and Desi Jr. hired a couple of tough guys to come on down here and put some hurtin’ on us. I was advised to lay low for a spell,” he said, in hushed tones.

It was later revealed that Arnaz, Jr. was sending a team of high-powered lawyers to try and halt production of the proposed series.

Nevertheless, pre-production began last month, and the first two episodes have been completed.

“The hardest part has been gittin’ all them scrinched up faces right, like Lucy did all the time,” admits McEntire. “I been studyin’ the old show, walkin’ ‘round with all these goofy looks on my face, swingin’ my arms to and fro like a circus monkey – folks round here think I’m havin’ a spell or goin’ crazier than a outhouse rat! But I been practicin’ hard! Lucy never did cut no corners, and dad-gummit, I won’t neither!”

Sean Carey, president of the International I Love Lucy Fan Club had this to say via Facebook:

This is a disgrace. I’m sure that Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz are turning over in their graves, and if I were dead I would be doing the same thing, because honestly I wanted to be dead when I heard about this. I urge everyone to sign a petition I have started called ‘Rebuff The Reba Reboot’ before it’s too late.

I have smashed all my Reba McEntire CDs, which is hard to do since they are made of an advanced plastic material, but I was so mad I smashed them anyway with my bear (sic) hands.

McEntire is aware of the severe backlash the show has created.

“Yeah, I heard tell ‘bout some folks grumblin’ and getting’ their blood all angried up, but I say, give it a chance! Lucy always took a chance, like that one time she set her nose afire, so I’m gonna take a risk too, dagnabbit! And I get to sing!”

“I want to cancel this thing before it even starts,” said fan club president Carey, “so I’m calling the Neilsen ratings people to see if they can help me.”

Carey’s Rebuff The Reba Reboot boycott has gathered nearly 2 million online signatures.

Currently, there are no plans to halt production of Reba Loves Lucy.

Fran Drescher-Narrated Audiobook Banned by National Association of the Deaf

Posted on August 26, 2014 by DvanL

HOLLYWOOD, California –

It is not “the best of times” for comedic actress and TV star Fran Drescher, most famous for her role as ‘Fran Fine,’ on CBS’ The Nanny, which ran on CBS from 1993–1999.

The distinctively nasally voiced Drescher decided to self-produce and narrate an audiobook version of Charles Dickens’ A Tale of Two Cities, after being turned down by major producers and effectively blacklisted by SAG-AFTRA, The Screen Actors Guild‐American Federation of Television and Radio Artists.

“I wanted to branch out,” said 56-year-old Drescher from her Hollywood Hills home. “I’ve done comedy, I’ve done Broadway, I’ve done movies, and so one day I was joking around and I said to my producing partner ‘Wouldn’t it be funny if I narrated a book?’ HAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaa. Then I started thinking about it and really decided to do it. Crazy right? HAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaa,” she said.

Christopher Wagner, President of the National Association of the Deaf, led the movement for a nationwide ban on the audiobook. “Approximately .4 percent of the United States population is functionally deaf. That’s roughly 1 million people. For God’s sake, isn’t that enough?” Wagner asked.

A petition, largely driven by social media, gathered over 6,000,000 electronic signatures in support of the ban within the first hour of its online launch. “Our mailbox got flooded,” said Wagner, “and our server crashed. I was afraid we’d never get our website up and running again.”

“It made me really sad because it was my favorite book growing up. WAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaa,” said Drescher, after hearing about the ban. “People wouldn’t necessarily think of me as a bookworm, but I really am. HAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaa,” added Drescher. “I love to read out loud. I can do other voices besides ‘Fran Fine.’ She was a character, not a real person. I have people who’ve lived around me for years who haven’t gone deaf. I can prove it.”

Early on in the project, Drescher contacted Audiobooks International Executive Vice President, Joseph Widden. “I thought I was being punked,” he said. “It sounded like Fran Drescher on the phone, but I have a lot of friends who do voices. That’s what I do. I get to know people who do voices. Then they do audiobooks. I thought it was a joke. I hung up the phone. She called again. I hung up again. This went on for an hour. She finally stopped. The tape came out. She did it herself. Chris Wagner called. He got me on board. That’s what I do. I get on board. I got on board. I made some calls. That’s what I do. I called some people. They owed me favors. That’s what I do. I call things in. I called things in. We got the ban. So here we are.”

“He wouldn’t take my call,” said Drescher. “So I did it myself. Now I got a garage full of CDs. What am I going to do, drive around the country putting up a card table? What can I say? You gotta have a sense of humor about this business. HAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaa.”

Drescher says that she may donate the audiobooks to schools in developing countries, where it’s possible they aren’t familiar with her voice.

MacFarlane, FOX Announce ‘Family Guy’ Series Ending After Next Season

Posted on August 11, 2014 by JP

LOS ANGELES, California –

One of the most popular animated shows in the history of television will be coming to end this fall. The show Family Guy, created by Seth MacFarlane, brought FOX’s rating to a new level, bringing in millions of viewers season after season for the last 15 years.

On top of being one of the most popular shows on television for several years, the show had a lot of ‘jewelry’ to show for their popularity; The series was nominated 13 times for an Emmy Award, winning 4. The acclaim kept most people assuming the show would air for several more years.

The decision does not come at the hands of FOX executives, but from creator MacFarlane, who says that the show has become ‘stagnated,’ and that it’s time he focus on his other cartoons American Dad and The Cleveland Show, as well his now-budding movie career.

“I’ve taken Family Guy exactly where it needed to go,” says MacFarlane. “The characters have traveled the world, had their follies. We’ve done musical numbers and covered all the topics I wanted to. With the crossover episode with The Simpsons airing in September, it will be the crown-jewel of the series, and I don’t want to drag it out any further.”

Roger Ailes the CEO of FOX News Channel commented on the matter.

“Seth created a great show, but we understand that he’s gone on to do bigger things. Not necessarily better things, but bigger things,” said Ailes. “The film Ted was a great success for him, and it’s afforded him the opportunity to make a sequel. His film A Million Ways To Die in the West was also a big money maker. It was fairly unwatchable in my opinion, but good for him for making the jump to live-action acting. [Seth] is making Hollywood money now. TV money won’t keep cutting it.”

Ailes said that he wishes that the network and MacFarlane could have come to an agreement on a contract renewal, but that several other shows are currently in the development process, with at least one hoped to be able to fill the vacant spot left by Family Guy on FOX’s ‘Animation Domination’ Sunday night block of programming.

“The show came out with a bang and pushed the envelope, and we were stupid and canceled it once already. The fans convinced us to bring it back, and Seth kept it going for years. If you ask me, though, the show has gotten a littler more dry over the years. I use to sit and watch and laugh like crazy but now when I watch it I feel a bit dumber, and I think the ratings have suffered a little, too.”

Several members of the cast were made aware of the show’s end several months ago, with all choosing to stay until the end of the series. Most, including Seth Green, voice of Chris Griffin, and Mila Kunis, voice of Meg Griffin, have already had long careers in Hollywood, and say they are not worried about where to go when the show ends.

“I’ve still got my show Robot Chicken that I created for Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim lineup,” said Green. “There are also talks with Mike [Meyers] about another Austin Powers film, which I really think will happen, and I’m excited for that. Voicing Chris on Family Guy all these years has been a blast, but as they say, good things end.”

FOX has the show’s final season, its 13th, slated to begin in September.