UFC Fighter Punches Himself In The Face, Gets Knocked Out During Bout

Posted on August 16, 2014 by JP

BANGOR, Maine –

A UFC fighter has set a new record for being the only person ever to knock himself out during a fight. The event took place Friday, August 15, 2014 during a preliminary fight in Bangor, Maine. This was fighter Ryan Crystler’s debut in the UFC, and although coming in as a favorite from the independent circuit, left a rather embarrassing first impression for a lot of people who witnessed the event live.

Crystler appeared that he had the fight won during the first round, throwing punch after punch to his opponent, and landing some real heavy blows. Things unfortunately took a turn for Crystler during round two, when a punch he threw bounced of his competitor’s face, and he ended up slamming himself in the chin, ending the bout.

When Crystler woke up from being knocked out, he still attempted to fight. The referee had to make it clear that the fight was over because of the knockout. Crystler’s opponent, Frankie Saenz, looked just as shocked as he did when the fight was called.

“I was taking some punches to the face, and then the fight was just over. I didn’t realize he hit himself, so at first I thought they were calling the fight because I was getting slammed on,” said Saenz. “I couldn’t believe that I won until I saw him laying there, his lip all busted open. He was out for the count. I honestly had to stifle a laugh.”

Due to the craziness of this fight, Dana White and a committee with the UFC are under discussion to how to call the bout. While technically being a knockout, they don’t want to reward Saenz with the KO because he wasn’t the one who performed the punch. They are also unsure whether to mark it as a knockout for Crystler, or whether to count it as a loss.

NASCAR: Tony Stewart To Announce Retirement From Auto Racing After Accident That Kills Competing Driver

Posted on August 14, 2014 by Raoul Stockton

CHARLOTTE, North Carolina –

NASCAR Insiders Rusty Wallace and Darrell Waltrip have informed the Associated Press that three-time Sprint Cup Champion Tony Stewart will hold a press conference in the coming days, and is expected to announce his retirement from all auto racing activities, as well as announcing the sale of his half of his ownership of Stewart-Haas Racing. The announcement comes after Stewart tragically struck and killed fellow sprint car driver Kevin Ward, Jr.

“This was a tragic accident, one he just can’t get over. I talked with Tony yesterday and he made it clear, he is done with racing. I tried to suggest to him to take time off and think it over for a few months, he told me he has made up his mind and will announce soon. I hope he changes his mind, but it sure sounded like he meant it,” said former NASCAR champion and Hall of Fame member Rusty Wallace.

According to Waltrip, he talked to Stewart for hours the night after the accident and again two days ago, and he says Stewart has been grieving more and more after the initiative shock.

“The man hasn’t slept for days, this has rocked his world harder than anything he has ever had to deal with. He told me he could never effectively get back in a race car and drive. He can barely bring himself to drive his Ford Taurus to the supermarket and back without cringing. I expect an announcement in the next few days, he is just working on what he is going to say to the fans and most importantly the father of the victim, Kevin Ward, Sr.,” Waltrip told NASCAR reporter Nicole Briscoe via telephone interview last night.

Ward, 20, had climbed out of his Sprint car during a dirt race in Canadaigua, N.Y., and he walked toward Stewart’s car during a caution, and while gesturing to him was struck and killed by the car Stewart was driving. Ward was pronounced dead on his way to the hospital.

Several race fans who have watched the horrific video believe that Stewart’s aggressive racing nature caused the death of Ward, including Ward’s father.

“Tony Stewart was the best damn driver by far on the track that night. Why he had to go up as high as he did and hog my son, there’s no reason for it,” Ward Sr. told the Syracuse Post-Standard. “Apparently, he was the only driver on the track who didn’t see [my son.] The one person that knows what happened that night could possibly be facing 10 years in prison. Is he going to say what he’s done?”

Speaking to the Associated Press, Corey Rayburn Yung, a law professor, said that under New York State law, Stewart could very possibly be charged with manslaughter, even if there was no intent to strike Ward.

“The question over whether someone was reckless is a factual one, and one a prosecutor might let a jury decide,” Yung said. “So far, from what I’ve read, Stewart has cooperated with police. That does not mean that once this is all said and done, that they won’t find him at fault one way or the other.”

On whether Stewart will retire from racing, all signs point to yes given the sources. “There will for sure be a press conference in which Tony speaks for himself, I think he sees no other way around this,” said Waltrip. “It will indeed be a sad day for NASCAR.”

Stewart-Haas Racing has not commented on the rumor, and a representative for the team could neither confirm nor deny Stewart’s intentions.

Obama Drains Martha’s Vineyard Pond To Retrieve Commemorative Golf Ball

Posted on August 13, 2014 by DvanL

OAK BLUFFS, Massachusetts –

Day 5 of President Barack Obama’s annual vacation to the resort island community of Martha’s Vineyard was met with dismay and controversy, when a fresh-water pond was drained so that a commemorative golf ball could be retrieved.

During an early round of play at the exclusive Farm Neck Golf Club located in the town of Oak Bluffs, an unidentified member of the President’s entourage hit a ball into a pond facing the eastern edge of the course. The water hazard is located above a natural aquifer made up of sand and gravel, and serves as an essential ground water filter.

Cal Silva, Environmental Quality Officer for Dukes County remarked, “The natural purifying system provided by the aquifer is indispensable for proper environmental balance, not only for this locale, but also for the entire Island. We learned today that the pond was drained by executive order without our consent. A homeowner whose property abuts the golf course informed me when he noticed that dredging of the pond had started, and quite honestly, I was shocked. The health and well-being of local shellfish and wildlife may very well be severely compromised due to this,” added Silva.

Reaction spread quickly throughout this closely-knit community, made up of year-rounders, summer residents, and day-trippers. Cafe owner Suzanne North expressed a commonly shared opinion.

“This the kind of place where you leave things the way you found them, especially when it comes to nature. It’s unfathomable to me how this was allowed to happen, and all for a golf ball? This is one of the few places left where people can share something special. A lot of my regulars are very upset about it.”

Cafe patron Roland Sanders commented, “They [the President and his family] keep a pretty low profile around here normally, except for when they come in town to one of the restaurants. You wouldn’t hardly know they’re here until the whole Secret Service shows up and whatnot, so that’s pretty exciting because you know he’s close by. But this thing with the pond has made a lot of people a little uncomfortable now. It’s like they took charge all of a sudden and changed the way things work without first thinking about the Vineyard or asking anybody.”

Not everyone in the town was as upset at the situation as Sanders, though. Several avid golfers from the area say they completely understood losing a ball in that water trap.

“I’ve golfed at Farm Neck many, many times,” said resident Henry Bellows. “I’ve lost countless balls to that pond. If I had the power to have it drained to get them back, I would have. Now that it’s happened, though, I am tempted to sneak down there with a bucket and pick up some free balls.”

Quality officer Silva expressed optimism that the natural balance could be restored if enough rainfall replenishes the now drained wetland.

“Nature has a way of taking care of itself. Already there are a number of birds who are feeding at the marshland that was created by this event, so that’s a benefit in a strange way which we’ve not been able to observe before. I can only hope for the best, but my office will be meeting with the President’s staff and I’ve personally requested a meeting with the head of the EPA. She’s a New Englander, so I know she understands the island and how strongly we feel about this.”

According to reports, Environmental Protection Agency Administrator Gina McCarthy, a Greater Boston area resident, would soon be traveling to the island, located 4 miles from the Massachusetts coastline. President Obama would not comment on the incident, but a representative from the White House said that the environment has always been important to the President and his family.

“This was a really important golf ball, though,” he added. “One of a kind. In case you are wondering, we were able to retrieve the ball after draining the pond, so it was not a total loss.”

Woman In Front Row of UFC Event Berated For Not Looking Like A Prostitute

Posted on August 11, 2014 by Jon Smith

LAS VEGAS, Nevada –

Stephanie Kirkland, 26, a 2^nd grade teacher at a Lake Tahoe area public school, was excited to learn a friend had an extra ticket to UFC 175: Weidman vs. Machida. It was with added surprise that she learned the seats were just one row from the cage.

As passing fights fan, Kirkland admitted that she had looked forward to the event, having never been to a live UFC show, but she in no way anticipated what would happen once she got to the venue.

Security camera footage clearly shows Kirkland walking into the fight with a group of friends. Kirkland is seen dressed in a t-shirt and jeans with her hair pulled back in a ponytail. From the footage, her friends appear to be clearly embarrassed to be seen with her slovenly appearance.Things only got worse from there.

Wanting to get the most out of the tickets, Kirkland had pressed her friends to arrive early so they could watch all of the preliminary fights and as such, the group represented the only filled seats in the first five rows of the arena. Reports are that people in the cheap seats wondered if they were there by mistake.

As the night progressed to the main card, the seats around her filled with more and more people. Kirkland seemed ambivalent to the looks and jeers around her as she watched the action.

“I thought people were yelling at the fighters,” Kirkland said, days after the event, “I dated a wrestler in high school, so I was following the action pretty well. It was fun – Until I realized they were yelling at me.”

Reports from cage side are that numerous chants of “You don’t look like a whore!” and “Why aren’t you texting during the fight?” continued for minutes at a time as Kirkland sat and watched the fight politely, not bothering anyone.

She wasn’t even staring at the other women, judging them, scoffing and laughing to herself about something only she found funny. Her behavior was considered suspect by arena security who had her under constant observation, except when women dressed like aspiring porn stars walked by.

Before the Rousey/Davis fight, Kirkland was finally approached by security and asked to step outside. At which time none of her friends acted like they knew her. Once outside, security closed the doors and her picture was distributed throughout the MGM Casino with orders not to allow her back inside.

Kirkland was forced to wait until the fights let out to find her friends, who were so ashamed of her that they wouldn’t even share a cab home.

“I was so embarrassed,” admitted Kelly Oswald, a friend of Kirkland’s since middle school. “I mean, here were are, with the chance to be seen on a pay-per-view event and have fan boys make GIFs of us showing our cleavage and she dresses like she’s going to baseball game.”

Oswald, whose UFC GIF has been featured for the last week when the nipple of one of her 36DD breasts slipped out of her size zero dress, thought for a moment. “No, not even baseball, because then we could get one of those special baseball jersey’s that show off your belly. This was totally unacceptable. She was dressed like a Mormon.”

Information released by leading cosmetic manufacturers suggests there could be as much as 72 pounds of fake eyelashes in the front row of any given UFC event. Sources in Las Vegas salons stated that they will often need emergency airdrops of hair dye and wax to prepare for the larger events.

Kirkland has subsequently been banned from the MGM Casino until such time as she can prove that she is aloof, disinterested ,and otherwise oblivious to the people around her while simultaneously posting selfies on Instagram in the middle of a five-round slugfest.

Texas Football Coach Arrested For Giving Meth To Team As ‘Performance Booster’

Posted on August 2, 2014 by A. Michael Smith

LINDEN, Texas –

Police in Linden, Texas arrested a junior high school football coach this past Tuesday after allegations that he was forcing his players to take doses of methamphetamine before practice.

According to Linden Police Chief Alton McWaters, parents of students had complained about strange behavior by their children following football practices.

“My son would come home and just act really strange,” said LaQuita Jones, a mother of one student. “He would just stand and stare at the walls for like an hour. Then one day I walked in to my kitchen and he was sitting on the floor next to a pile of his own feces saying, ‘look, I made Jesus’. That’s when I knew something wasn’t right.”

Police say they sent undercover officers to the school on Tuesday before football practice was scheduled to begin. The team had been meeting all summer, continuing practices even though school ended in late June, to stay in shape for what the school said they hoped would be a “terrific year” for Linden Junior High School sports.

“This arrest has marred what we hoped could be another winning season,” said assistant principal Joseph Goldsmith. “It’s a shame that this was going on right under our noses, and we never knew it.”

Carl Allen Byers, the school’s English teacher and coach of the football team, was taken in to custody immediately after undercover officers spotted him giving the drug to players.

Byers told officers, “I didn’t know it was wrong. I was just trying to give them a boost of energy.”

Arrested in connection with the incident was William Duncan, who was charged with delivery of a controlled substance in a drug-free zone. Duncan has bonded out of jail, according to McWaters.

Duncan was picked up in the parking lot of Mae Luster Stephens Junior High School. Linden is about 40 miles southwest of Texarkana, Texas.

McWaters also says officers found drugs in the coach’s truck. The investigation is ongoing.

Pittsburgh Steelers Give Tryout To First Female Player

Posted on July 28, 2014 by L.J. Mainville Jr.

PITTSBURGH, Pennsylvania –

It used to be that women in the NFL were cheerleaders. Until recently, there has been a few novelty football leagues such as the Women’s Lingerie Football League (LFL) or the Independent Women’s Football League (IWFL); however, much like Women’s Basketball there is not much of an audience for these games. Other than the occasional “wardrobe malfunction” with the LFL, there really is not much excitement to these games.

With the recent ‘War on Women’ in the political arena, the NFL has decided to take a serious request in considering allowing female players in the NFL, when a request from 24-year-old Kaitlyn Saunders of Erie, PA arrived at St. Vincent College in Latrobe Pennsylvania requesting to try out as a kicker.

“I felt bad, but I told her this was the practice field and we don’t hold walk-on tryouts,” said Dan Calbright, spokesman for the Steelers coaching staff.

Traveling with her father and brother, Kaitlyn made the three hour trek just for a chance to try on the Black and Gold.

“I played soccer for years and I can really put a good boot on the ball,” Kaitlyn said with a toothy smile.

“She’s got a real strong leg,” her brother, Todd Saunders reported. “We were goofin’ off and she actually made a 53 yard goal.” Kaitlyn’s father backed up the story and stated they had her do it several times just to make sure it wasn’t a fluke.

A spokesman for Roger Goodell, NFL commissioner, stated they would give consideration to Kaitlyn pending an evaluation from Pittsburgh’s special teams coach, Danny Smith. When word of Kaitlyn’s skills made it back to Art Rooney, she was invited back to the Steeler’s main practice facility on Pittsburgh’s south side where she met with Danny Smith and the rest of the special team coaches.

“She’s an outstanding kicker and clearly has a strong leg,” Dan Smith reported. “She made a 58-yard kick at our south side facility.” Kaitlyn was 12 for 16 on the day during her invitational workouts, missing two from 45 yards out that she simply didn’t get enough lift on. They were knocked down by a net that is set up for the drill to ensure proper height. Kaitlyn also missed one from 50 yards out and another from 40 yards away.

Coach Smith gave no indication as to whether or not they would recommend Kaitlyn for an actual combine try out, however Roger Goodell’s office is making the consideration a possibility. When asked about drafting such a player, Danny Smith said, “If she’s invited to the combine I’d give her some serious consideration.”

“I’m just hoping that I can open up a couple barriers for the NFL next season,” said Kaitlyn. “They’ve seen what I can do, and now we’ll play the waiting game.”

Michael Vick Sustains Season-Ending Injury After Being Attacked By Dog

Posted on July 27, 2014 by Raoul Stockton

NEW YORK, New York –

On March 21st, Michael Vick signed a $5 million, one year contract with the New York Jets. Yesterday the big pay-day was put in jeopardy after a dog running loose in his New Jersey neighborhood, ironically of a pit bull breed, attacked the quarterback and caused extensive muscle damage to his right leg, which doctors say will keep him from playing football in 2014.

A clause in his contract states that if he is unable to perform at all during the 2014 season due to injury outside of football, he stands to lose up to 85% of the $5 million.

“We certainly hope Mike recovers more quickly than expected and is able to play but according to team physicians it looks highly unlikely,” said team publicist Bryan Welch.

Vick served 18 months of a 23 month sentence for operating a dog fighting ring in 2009. The case was very high-profile and received massive media attention due to the fighting, torture, and executions of pit bulls at the hands of Vick. He missed two complete NFL seasons, and was released by the Atlanta Falcons in August of 2009, making him a free agent. Vick eventually signed with the Philadelphia Eagles where he played until last season. Vick signed the one year deal with the New York Jets in March.

Some are calling Vick’s unfortunate incident poetic justice, such as Jets fan Carmine Vinotossi of Brooklyn, New York.

“He got what he deserved. I am a Jets fan, born and raised since I was 1-year-old, and I was sick the day the Jets announced they hired this bum as a quarterback. $5 million for one year? Give me a break,” said Vinotossi. “What were they thinking, these guys? It looks like karma got it all sorted out now. God is, in fact, a Jets fan.”

It is reported that the dog that attacked Vick was, coincidentally, part of a liter of puppies that had come from an animal shelter that housed dogs from Vick’s dog-fighting ring. The owner, who says that his dog, L.T., which is named after New York Giants’ great Lawerence Taylor, is an extremely loving dog, and will play with the neighborhood children. He has never shown the slightest bit of aggression to anyone prior to the attack.

“L.T. is a super sweet dog,” said owner Aaron Silver. “He loves kids, he loves other dogs. We even have a cat that he sleeps next to every night. When he saw [Vick] walking down the street, it was the first time I’d ever seen any anger in him. I think he could sense Vick’s history, and he knew they had bad ties. I think it was L.T.’s way of getting one back for his family.”

Per state law, dogs that are responsible for an attack are automatically put down. According to police reports after the attack, the dog was actually returned to his owner per request of Vick.

“Mike feels like this was his chance to give a second chance to a pit bull, and that God himself caused the attack as a form of payback,” said a friend. “He got a second chance at life, why shouldn’t this dog?”

Muhammad Ali’s Olympic Gold Medal Found In Ohio River

Posted on July 26, 2014 by Raoul Stockton

LOUISVILLE, Kentucky –

Once a year, volunteers who live near and along the great Ohio River participate in an event dubbed “The Annual Ohio River Sweep,” which extends the entire length of the massive waterway, from Pittsburgh, PA to Cairo, Illinois. Organizers said when the River Sweep started 25 years ago, finding items like washing machines, cars, and sunken fishing vessels was common.

“We’re not finding any of the large objects anymore, but we are finding what I call lots of ‘convenience items.’ A lot of the pop bottles, a lot of the plastic bags. So there is still a lot of work to be done on the Ohio River,” said River Sweep coordinator Lisa Cochran.

This year the great sweep fell on June 21. It was business as usual for volunteers from state to state, that is, except for one man. Robert Bradbury was born, raised and has lived his entire life in the thriving city of Louisville, Kentucky. Home of boxing great and humanitarian Muhammad Ali. What he found during the Sweep is most definitely one of the more mysterious and infamous pieces of sports hardware in American history.

“I saw something round and fairly large – well, bigger than any coin I know of, sticking out of the mud. I went to retrieve it and I realized it was a medallion of some kind,” Bradbury said. “As a joke, I walked over to my wife Pattie and told her ‘Hey I found Ali’s gold medal that he threw off the Second Street bridge in 1960!’ We both laughed as I tried to get it clean enough to make out what the design was on the thing.”

It was when he started to make out a figure on the medallion that Robert started to wonder what it really was.

“I finally rubbed the thing off enough so that I could see an image on the medallion, it almost looked to me like some ancient Roman God or something, then it clicked, I looked at my wife and said, ‘Oh dear Lord, the 1960 Olympics were in Rome!’ The thing totally looked Roman to me so I started to get excited. She told me to calm down because most medallions have that kind of design on them.”

It turns out that his wife was wrong, and there was a definite reason to get excited.

After about a week of searching for an appraiser, they located an Olympic Medal collector and expert living in Indianapolis, Indiana. So they made the two-and-a-half hour drive to meet Wade Somerville, who has been collecting Olympic Medals for fifteen years. Somerville used a special cleaning solution designed specifically for fragile, valuable precious metals.

“Not five minutes went by before he lit up like a Christmas tree, turned and said to us ‘What you have here, is an authentic 1960 Olympic Gold Medal. This thing is the real deal.'” The three of them were speechless. They all knew the old story.

Ali, then named Cassius Clay, cherished his gold medal from the 1960 Olympics so much that he wore it all the time, even while sleeping. Then one day, sickened by a horrific bout of racism he encountered that evening, the 18-year-old light- heavyweight boxing champion stood on the Second Street Bridge and threw the medal into the Ohio River.

He never revealed the story until a documentary was made about him in 1975, and he explained what happened. For various reasons, however, people seemed to want to believe he was making the story up to get a rise out of his fans and the Olympic committee, just being dramatic as he always was. The incident took place in the fall of 1960. Fast-forward fifty-four years. June 21, 2014, Robert Bradbury pulls an authentic 1960 Olympic Gold Medal from the muddy banks of the Ohio River.

“There is no doubt in my mind that this is the very gold medal Cassius Clay threw off that bridge. It is the most amazing thing I could possibly see with my own eyes!” said Somerville.

“I was like, ‘Oh Lord, now what do we do?'” Bradbury revealed. “We decided the only right thing to do was somehow contact the Ali family, so we went to the Muhammad Ali Center and swiftly handed it over to the curator. They were extremely excited as you could imagine and treated us like royalty.”

About a week went by when the Bradbury’s received a phone call from Chief Curator Sarah Lynn Jeffcoat, she asked the couple to meet them down at the Center as soon as possible. When they finally arrived, they were amazed by what was waiting for them. A check, written by the Ali family for the sum of $200,000.

“We both just burst into tears,” said Bradbury. “It is such an amazing thing to be actually now be a part of this amazing human-being’s story. We are linked with him for eternity, and they could not have been more thankful and appreciative. They have reached out and changed our lives forever, we are so grateful!”

Peyton Manning Injured, Team Says He’s Out For Season

Posted on July 26, 2014 by JP

DENVER, Colorado –

Not only will fantasy football rosters be ruined for everyone, but a season is in jeopardy for a team thought to be the top competitor coming into the NFL season this fall. Reports of Peyton Manning being out for the season have been confirmed by the team doctor after an injury that occurred in a walk-through practice.

The team was doing simple drills with no pads or contact, and Manning still found a way to break his ankle in three places, leaving him off the roster for the Denver Broncos.

The injury occurred when Manning dropped back for a pass and tripped over equipment that had been left out.

It is unclear when and if he will return to the field, but sources have confirmed that the equipment manager has been fired due to the incident. The Bronocos will be looking for hope in their back-up quarterback Brock Osweiler.

Osweiler says that he is nervous, but also ready to lead the team back to the Super Bowl.

“It’s crazy how it happened but when you get a chance to start in the NFL as a quarterback you have to take it,” said Osweiler. “Being a backup QB, I am more than prepared for this type of thing to happen, but I also thought if it did happen it would be during the season. I’m not saying it won’t be tough to follow Peyton Manning, but I have nothing but faith in myself, the team, and the organization.”

Tests are being run on Manning to see how critical the damages are to the ankle and if returning to play during the 2014-2015 season will be an option for the all-star quarterback.

NSAC To Start Requiring Drug Testing For MMA Announcers and Owners

Posted on July 25, 2014 by Jon Smith

LAS VEGAS, Nevada –

In an effort to crack down on what has recently become the rampant use of performance enhancing drugs in mixed martial arts, the Nevada State Athletic Commission sent out a press release outlining their new rules requiring drug testing for all mixed martial arts organization owners and announcers.

With the recent negative press received by the positive results from former UFC fighter Chael Sonnen and the ban of Testosterone Replacement Therapy (TRT), the NSAC isn’t taking any more chances that their reputation will be dragged through the mud, not to mention the tarnish a scandal would cause the sport as a whole.

“We aren’t messing around anymore,” said Terry McCall, long-serving member of the NSAC. “MMA is a huge money-maker for the state and there are a lot of people looking at us to lead the way. There is no way they are going to drag us in front of a congressional committee like we’re baseball.”

The news of the mandatory drug testing has not been received well, particularly by UFC announcer and marijuana/psychedelic mushrooms/kettlebell advocate Joe Rogan or UFC owner Lorenzo Fertitta.

While Fertitta hasn’t had nearly the same level of exposure as UFC president Dana White or Rogan, he has recently taken to wearing Ed Hardy style shirts and rocking some massive arms.

The billionaire Fertitta, while barely five feet tall, has been seen in several Instagram photos and UFC weigh-ins showing off some massive steroid-looking jacked arms as well.

“It’s crazy,” said a fan at a recent event. “His forearms look like a pack of hotdogs. He looks like the white CT Fletcher.”

Rogan, ever-levelheaded and pragmatic, took to his Joe Rogan Experience podcast, blissfully bumping another Brendan Shaub interview to address the new ruling.

“Weed is not a performance enhancer and for the commission to say that an announcer, who isn’t even competing in an athletic capacity needs to be tested is just ridiculous.” Rogan then went on to discuss his years competing in Taekwondo and when he showed Georges St. Pierres his spinning side kick.

The NSAC did admit that not one single person on the board was able to look at UFC President Dana White and think for even a second that he could be using PEDs, and that he seemed way too high-strung for a habitual weed smoker.

At time of publication, the NSAC has not yet determined what the penalty for a failed test will be, but it has been suggested that it could result in a banning from the sport. Generally speaking, it seems that not a single fan of MMA cares one way or the other, as long as the UFC finally puts on an entertaining card.