LOS ANGELES, California –
When Ben Affleck was cast as Batman for the upcoming addition to the superhero franchise, Batman Vs Superman, the big question on everyone’s lips was, “Huh?” The next question was, who else will star in the series? In October, speculation grew that Jena Malone will play the Dark Knight’s sidekick, Robin.
At the time, the discussion focused on the casting of a female in the iconic role. But as interest in the feminist side died down, the public began to wonder about the status of Affleck’s well-known bromance with Matt Damon. After the ensuing social media storm, Affleck has finally had his say on the matter.
“Matt will always be my Robin,” the Argo star said. “Nothing will come between us, not even some feminoid playing his part.”
Matt Damon spoke to the media with a brave face. Clearly hurting inside, he stated defiantly that it did not bother him.
“I don’t care,” he said. “Who’s Ben Affleck to me? The days of Good Will Hunting and the like are long gone.”
Soon, however, the Bourne star broke down.
“When he played Daredevil, he said the only reason I couldn’t be his sidekick was because they hadn’t written one into the script. But how about now? Robin… Robin was meant to be… I can’t do this anymore.”
Affleck tried to calm his best friend down by insisting that he hadn’t had a say in who played which characters. When this approach failed, he organized an airplane to fly over Damon’s house, trailing a banner with the words, “Matt, you will always be my Robin, no matter what they say.”
Damon has since told the media that everything is resolved, especially since “Ben told me he’s gonna direct his own Batman series when this is done, and then I’ll play the part that was always meant to be mine.”
